Friend wants to 'borrow' our nanny - not sure what to do

[froggydoo]

We have a nanny for our two DCs - she's been working for us for about five months now , very part time three afternoons a week. All fine.

She's doing a whole day for us soon to cover for a school holiday and a friend has asked if the nanny could look after her DC for the day too.

Our nanny has done this a few weeks ago - took a (different) friends DD with our kids for the afternoon due to that friend having a family emergency.

But I'm really uncomfortable about asking her to look after the first friends DC as it might seem like I'm taking the piss. Two requests to take an extra child in a couple of weeks seems really cheeky.

What do you think?

One bit of vital info - first friend is offering to pay nanny also, do she would get double pay for the day.

Ask your nanny if she wants to, if you are comfortable with shared care.

agree ask the nanny if she would like to earn some extra cash and say that your friend needs some childcare on the same day

make clear to her she can say no if she wants, but tbh if i were here then i would say yes as extra cash is always nice and its not every day

It is up to the nanny to decide whether she wants some extra work.

Your friend needs to understand that a nanny is an employee not a commodity.

Thanks for the replies. I know I should just ask the nanny - but I don't want her to feel under pressure or that I am abusing her generous nature!

As long as your friend is planning to pay her then it's fine to ask. I would get your friend to ask her directly though. I think she'll feel more pressure to say yes if you ask her and she should be free to say no if she doesn't want to. Plus it's a bit disrespectful for your friend to ask you if they can 'borrow her' like she's something that belongs to you, you're not a nanny pimp; if she wants the nanny to look after her DC's she needs to ask the nanny.

I disagree Holy, if my bosses friend asked me to look after her children, I would find it difficult to say no (I find it difficult to say no anyway! I'm a people pleaser.)

But if my boss said to me "X has asked me if you would mind having Y for the day/a few hours, I don't mind but please feel free to say no if you don't want to do it" then if I didn't want to, I would tell her.

I probably wouldn't say no though, all my bosses friends are lovely and they spent the day here today to celebrate my charges 1st birthday, a brilliant day, 1st guests arrived at 11:15 the last left at 5:45!! I'm going to bed now.

Fair enough Callaird. There you go OP 2 nannies with completely opposite views!

Maybe flip a coin? Heads you ask, tails your friend asks?

The times I've done this it hasn't worked out well I have to say my instinct is always to try to help the other parent. First time the mum arrived late in the morning and other inconveniences happened. THEN she started arranging other dates for the nanny to share care on her own accord!Without going through me!

I had a friend ask last night if our nanny could look after her daughter after school for an hour...rang me well past the threshold...had to say no...witht his mother Iw as worried about lateness for pick ups and other factors, again this woman has a track record of asking people's nannies for help directly. Sort of billed as a playdate but not really, if you see what I mean.

Seriously - if your INSTINCT is telling you, your not 100% don't do it. DOn't do it just because it's double pay for your nanny if that's a consideration. There are downsides to going down this route and now I am very very picky who I would consider offering this to.

If the friend is reliable and not flaky, and her DCs aren't total nightmares then I'd ask your nanny but be absolutely clear that she can say no.

I think most people need a bit of extra cash and would be delighted to work a bit harder for the same hours and get double pay.

Sometimes it is easier to look after 2 lots of children instead of 1 lot as they play among themselves more. It depends on the ages of the children and how they get on. I never minded doing this as a nanny and there was no mention of extra pay.