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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Male childminders

38 replies

PhyllisDoris · 15/05/2012 17:39

What do people think about male childminders?
My DH, recently made redundant, has thought about becoming a childminder. He's great with babies and kids and I think he'd be really good at it, but do you think people would be prepared to use a male child minder?
He'd be comfortable looking after boys and girls (we have two DDs), but I thought some people might quite like the idea of a male childminder for boys.

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turnigitonitshead · 15/05/2012 17:48

I have known 2 male cms at dds school one I would not even consider using, the other i would, however I also know 3 female childminders at dds school 1 i do use and the other 2 I would not. so not sure what that says about probabilities.

I think you will find some parents would not feel comfertable, but hopefully on the whole most would.

wishiwasonholiday · 15/05/2012 17:50

I know of a male childminder who is also a sahd and I would use him. If you go in www.childmindingforum.co.uk there are a few male childminders he may be able to chat to.

Yeahthatsnotgonnahappen · 15/05/2012 17:58

I'd use a male CM. wouldnt bother me. Out of the 200 CMs' profiles I looked at, none were male - if there had been, I probably would have gone and seen him.

VivaLeBeaver · 15/05/2012 18:01

DD used to have a male childminder and liked him.

PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 15/05/2012 18:47

my husband is a a childminder and the children love him!

mumo3g · 15/05/2012 19:14

My DH works alongside me as a childminder. At first I wasn't sure he was going to get on with it as his experience with children has been limited. But at times he is better that me!

The children love him and some even prefer him and ask for him over me. Sometimes I feel redundant lol. We have told them though when he can't work with them because he does the cooking and that I'm looking after them.

The first mindee a boy was very much a man's man and didn't get on with me at first. It took a while for him to get used to me.

There was once at a children's centre that a boy would only go to my DH the others had tried and he cried and cried. My DH got him to sleep!

My DH was made reduntant from his old job of 9 years.

I think sometimes there are people that are wary of male childminders but it's women too that abuse. People shouldn't be stereotypical.

Original poster

PhyllisDoris · 15/05/2012 20:25

Thank you for your comments. I think its probably worth looking in to.

OP posts:

ManAboutTheHouse · 15/05/2012 20:31

I've been working alongside my wife for 18 months now, & don't regret leaving 'the business world' at all!

All of the parents of the children we care for loved the fact that we are a partnership, & the balance that brings. In a couple of instances, the parents are single parents & so, they stressed that my involvement would be of great help to them.

There are a few people in my neighbourhood who think I'm crazy, purely because it's an industry usually associated with women, & so find it very hard to make even eye-contact with me. Unfortunately, a few friends fell by the way-side too (their choice, not mine), because they felt I'd "given up" my old career in some way (I too, was made redundant). Others just feel very reluctant to even ask me how things are, after they've spent 45 minutes telling me how their lives / jobs are!

If any of these people saw how hard we work, they would realise! Ignore anyone who thinks a man cannot be a CM - they are not the sort of people you'd want to be dealing with anyway. If your husband is as good as you think he would be, then the chances are he will be.

Good luck!

Mum2Luke · 16/05/2012 16:35

ManAboutTheHouse - I think you are very brave to come into what is usually a female dominated career. If we had more male cms near me I would be out getting a full-time job like a shot so I could leave my 10year old! He loves being outside playing football or any other sports or cycling on his bike and hates the arty crafty that is usually offered.

I think men can make fantastic cms - I think those neighbours and friends should admire you in such a job as this. It can be very lonely if you don't go to tots groups/network groups and yes some women cms leave alot to be desired!

Good luck!!

apotomak · 16/05/2012 20:28

I had one woman ring me about childcare and I had to explain I work with my husband. She said she'd ring me back. She rang all the other childminders and they said ' Try Anna and X. They're lovely. They do school runs to this school' the woman replied 'I'm not keen on a man having access to my little boy' [confued] No idea what she meant really. Anyway to cut the long story short she had no other choice but to use us ... she still tried to say she only wants me to look after him etc. and refused to sign some of the permissions. I explained that this is not how we work and either she accepts we co-mind and everything is equal and I will not have my co-minder discriminated in any way or she has to go elsewhere. She is happy now and even said she really likes her son having a male role model as she is a single mum. Some people ... hey?

ManAboutTheHouse · 16/05/2012 22:38

apotomak - I admire your tolerance! I know what my wife would have said if she had been approached by a parent that was reticent for their child to be co-minded!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 16/05/2012 22:41

Think its' great there are male child minders, I would if I had small kids certainly use one.

mama01 · 16/05/2012 22:59

Go for it. My son went to a husband and wife team until we moved house. I still take him once a month so he can still stay in touch. He loves the pair of them to bits.

AllDirections · 16/05/2012 23:09

I use a married couple team to childmind DD3 (and the other DC when they were younger). I specifically chose a situation where there would be a man around because DD3's father is not around and I have no family. The childminder has been the only male role model in her life. She's 5 now and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Groovee · 17/05/2012 13:10

My childminder's husband is registered too and is fab with my kids. I work in early years and have worked with a few male keyworker staff who have been fab

ManAboutTheHouse · 17/05/2012 14:54

And thank you for your kind comments Mum2Luke!

extremum · 17/05/2012 15:19

Oh dear, I can see from the comments above that I'm going to be controversial on this one. I disagree with male childminders. Husband and wife teams are fine, but male childminders on their own are not for me, and I HATE myself as someone who brings up children protesting about equality of the sexes etc for saying that.

Whilst I'm sure that the male childminders mentioned and included in this thread are excellent, I would not encourage parents to use male childminders for the very fact that there is a risk involved, albeit I'm sure, a very small risk and only in a small number of extreme occasions.

But if there is a risk, why risk it? Men can make wonderful cms, but if they're not accompanied by a wife or partner, personally, I'm not supportive of it. Hate myself for saying it, but just an opinion.

turnigitonitshead · 17/05/2012 17:04

does that go for male teachers, sports coaches, fathers, or any other male who may glance in the direction of a child?

Voidka · 17/05/2012 17:09

FFS - most things carry a 'small risk', does it stop you leaving your house in the morning?

Chandon · 17/05/2012 17:11

I would,

but to be honest, I would feel I'd go against the grain, and that there is so much hysteria about peado's it is rubbing off on me a bit, without me wanting it, but still.

For example, if you look the way even young boys of 6 are seen as little "perverts" trying to "get an eyeful" in the women's changing room (recent thread), it feels as if we are supposed to believe that all males, even young ones are a threat.

Another "changing room" thread mentioned how many of us, MNers would not send a 7 year old on his own into a men's changing room. (again, perverts everywhere, apparently)

Which is sad and damaging, and as a mother of boys upsets me.

but it seems to be a growing belief...

gnushoes · 17/05/2012 17:12

And women childminders don't carry that same small risk???

Groovee · 17/05/2012 17:21

Vanessa George was very liked by her parents. Goes to show that appearances can be deceptive. The risk can be from the person you least suspect.

Chubfuddler · 17/05/2012 17:25

There were no male cms in our area when I was looking but I wouldn't have had an issue with it. My CM's husband is frequently home when the mindees are around and is quite hands on. Ds loves him. The lovely chap even chose to take a day off work on his own birthday to take the mindees to the zoo.

Chubfuddler · 17/05/2012 17:26

On that logic extre none of us should have our children's fathers in the house. Just in case.

Karoleann · 17/05/2012 18:38

One of the reasons I chose my children's nursery is that they had a couple of male nursery nurses. I may hav been more likely to choose a childminder for my sons if it had been a man.
They're both at school next year though, and there's a huge shortage of male primary school teachers - does he not fancy doing that instead ;-)

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