should I hire this nanny - long story?

[lollystix]

So I've moved overseas with 4 small kids - one in school and the other in 'kindy for 3 days from 9-3. The other 2 are 2 and 7 months. I've always used private nurseries in the UK but here I think with geography and hours and cost a nanny is the only way.

I've been put in touch with a nanny who is 23 and well qualified. She's done a couple of afternoons for me whilst I attended interviews and I like her as do my kids and she seems to like us. She brought her mum round to meet me and her mum seemed lovely (where I live is a total community, villagey place so this would have been weird in the UK but seems OK here). I was about to hire her but went to get rerefence checks with the main nanny agency here and they said whilst she was competent, there were issues around attendance and honesty. Her last placement lasted 6 weeks and she was dismissed. She was filling shoes of a previous nanny who'd been there 4 years and she said she felt very intimidated by her employer. As a result she'd been scared to go in a couple of days and had said the girls had done things like had a bath when they hadn't. She also had poor attendance on a couple of placements at college prior to this.

So I contacted her to discuss and told her I'd be interviewing another couple of nanny's to make sure I was getting the right person. She sent me an honest email explaining that she'd found the previous employer very difficult and that the placements at college were when she was suffering a bout of depression which she was trying to sort with meds which we're working so well for her. The depression was brought about by her mum having cancer and a death in the family. She says she's now on a depression drug that's working well and she's fully back on track.

So I like her as do my boys, she likes us, she's local and so the job suits her well and I also know she's from a good family and lives with her mum. It would all be perfect but for the references. She's desperate for the job and I sense she knows she can't cock up again. If I hire her, I can give her 3 days notice if she messes up (agency contract rules) BUT it's a new job for me and if she keeps leaving me high and dry I look crap.

WWYD? I have a habit of supporting lame ducks and that's why I need the voice of reason.

sorry - old meds were not working for her but new ones are.

Can you ask for further references from other previous employers who were happy with her? In my job it's usual for a prospective employee to supply a reference from their current/immediately previous employer. But we do understand that there are circumstances in which a job has gone sour for one reason or another and that a reference from a current employer is likely to be unreliable and not objective.

I would ask for further references in this case - even a school or college/university reference, as she's not that old.

I'm not sure if she could supply as she's so new to it. She did placements in a nursery for college and there were attendance issues there (the depression) and then she'd only done the one nanny job which lasted 6 weeks. She wants to go the nanny route though. I feel a bit sorry for her as it's very unfortunate that the first nanny job went so badly wrong as that would have redeemed the college references.

I really sense she doesn't find me intimidating and that she's a bit shy.

The receommendation came from her mum's friend who has known her since birth but that's more in a personal capacity.

Could you agree a trial period?

absolutely. The agency contract is 3 months where I only need to give her 3 days notice. After that it's 4 weeks. I have a contact who is an ex nanny who said if I do get left high and dry one day she would happily step in (and I would pay her) as she doesn't work at present and her DS is 6 and at school with my DS1. So I suppose one part of me is thinking that I do have a back up plan if she cocks up but I suppose it's just more hassle.

Under these circs i'd insist on a one month trial.

With your contact available as back up, I'd give her a go. Everyone deserves a chance in life don't they? You like her, your kids like her... you don't have much to lose really. She could turn out to be a FAB nanny.

If you like her then I would suggest giving it a go on a trial basis. The agency mentioned issues around her honesty but she has been honest with you by disclosing the problems she has had with depression and meds.
She sounds like she needs a bit of guidance so I would make it very clear to her that it is a trial period and that she has to make it work for both of you or you will have to let her go.
Everyone deserves a chance.

I'd also give it a go with a very clear (and strict) probationary period. I would also ensure that the lines of communication were kept open, bearing in mind her experience with her previous employer but making your expectations very clear.

If you like her and she is willing to work hard then do take her on the probationary period. Sometimes it just doesn't work with families for whatever reason and staying would be detrimental to everybody. As she's been so honest I'd say give her a chance and make it all clear at the start what the expectations are, she could turn out to be an amazing nanny.

Yes I'd probably employ her although I wouldn't put paid sick leave in the contract and make sure you pay her in arrears +1 or 2 so that shedoesn't leave you in the lurch. So if paying weekly pay her the following Monday for the previous week, or if monthly on the 2nd of the month, rather than the end of the month.