Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

Honesty please

25 replies

iwillbrushmyteethbefore10am · 28/04/2012 23:09

Daughter is more than happy at her childcare provision. When we drop her off she can't wait to get down and play and when we pick her up, she crawls over for a hug and then wants to go back to whatever she was doing

but...

childcare provider often gives her crisps and biscuits and no fresh fruit or veg for snack. daughter loves yoghurts but if we pack up yoghurt or any pudding to eat with spoon it's untouched. daughter can eat solids very well and so far is not a fussy eater - if she has sandwiches we just put them on her tray and let her eat them, childcare provider has said no to certain sandwiches as they make too much mess and they don't have staff to spare to help her eat them. her bottle of water/juice we pack is always untouched.

we have also been concerned as when my husband picked her up once, the childcare provider was nowhere to be seen and someone who was a complete stranger to us (we'd never met her before) was there looking after daughter and seemed to be the only adult there.

childcare provider often has friends/family round for coffee/tea when looking after daughter - this doesn't bother me but bothers husband.

childcare provider says they don't have enough staff to spare to pick her up and comfort her when she cries.

she is 9 months old.

would really love some advice

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rubyslippers · 28/04/2012 23:11

Totally unacceptable on all counts

Is this a childminder?

The food is a worry but your child being in the apparent care of strangers is even more so

rubyslippers · 28/04/2012 23:12

How can they not pick her up when she cries

I say this as someone who uses FT childcare, I would be seeking alternatives ASAP

Springforward · 28/04/2012 23:14

I would be desperately unhappy if my crying child weren't being comforted. I would go ballistic if I found her in the care of a stranger! I would be uncomfortable with the friends/ family thing, and annoyed by the diet issues.

Do you have an alternative to this provider? Personally, I'd be checking that out, based on your post.

Original poster

iwillbrushmyteethbefore10am · 28/04/2012 23:18

No at the moment we have no alternative. We are in the middle of possibly changing jobs so times may change in the next couple of months which is why we're being slightly cautious about it as whatever we arrange now is likely to change very soon.

My plan is to ring around other childcare providers to maybe have one on standby and as soon as we know where we are in terms of hours etc. to go for it? She's there for the equivalent of roughly 3 days per week at the mo.

Does this sound like a plan?

OP posts:

5318008 · 28/04/2012 23:21

um can you be a bit more specific about the nature of the childcare setting

eg a nursery, a childminder, a creche, are you in Scotland, Wales, England, overseas?

But yes, going on info given I would be looking out for alternatives PDQ

BlueRinse · 28/04/2012 23:24

Trust your gut instinct.

If someone told me they didn't have time to comfort my 9 month old AND I was paying them a pricey sum to do so I would be looking for new help tbh.

Is this a nursery or childminder?

Original poster

iwillbrushmyteethbefore10am · 28/04/2012 23:24

England - childminder

OP posts:

Original poster

iwillbrushmyteethbefore10am · 28/04/2012 23:27

When we initially looked for childcare, I emailed 20 providers and got one reply, the rest were all full - I emailed 7 months in advance. I also rang two other nurseries and they were also full. I live in a baby boom area but I think what I'm most worried about is if I move her and she's desperately unhappy where she's moved to.

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 28/04/2012 23:29

Is she registered? She shouldn't leave your child in someone else's care without your prior consent.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 28/04/2012 23:37

There's a lot to be said for a happy baby.

However, I'd be less than chuffed at a 9 month old getting crisps and biscuits and not getting her drinks etc...have you asked her why her drinks are untouched? Does she maybe have cups for them there?

I would have no problem with her having family there - it would be one of the reasons I would choose a childminder, to have a home from home setting.

Maybe you misunderstood when she said no one can pick up DD if she cries... DD certainly seems happy there.

I can understand her not wanting you to provide very messy sandwiches/food - it is hard work to clean up after several BLW's! Maybe you can talk to her about other suitable options and snacks

Have you asked who the other person was and why they were there and she was not?

welovesausagedogs · 28/04/2012 23:42

This does not sound acceptable, i would not be happy if there were not enough staff to comfort my child when she/he cried. And i think the fact that people you do not know are sometimes looking after your daughter is not acceptable as they may not be ofsted registered of have experience of looking after children.

I think you should look for someone else, lots of my friends have found excellent nannies/mothers help via gumtree - for the money they can afford and for the hours they need.

5318008 · 28/04/2012 23:57

is she registered?

big red flag waving at having another adult who you don't know providing care, no no no.

please consider pulling your child - ring your Local Authority for an up to date list of priovders in your area; they can often be out of date, showing No Vacancies but actually have places

PositiveOutlook · 29/04/2012 13:23

This thread is really concerning to me. I have a few things I wanted to add:

childcare provider often gives her crisps and biscuits and no fresh fruit or veg for snack

it might be ok for a 9mo to have the occasional crisp or biscuit as a treat but not regularly as part of their diet and NO fresh fruit or veg? She needs to get used to different foods, tastes and textures.

if we pack up yoghurt or any pudding to eat with spoon it's untouched / her bottle of water/juice we pack is always untouched.

you should question your CM on why this food is untouched and ensure that your daughter is getting enough liquids during the day. I would worry about consitipation with this along with the lack of fresh fruit and veg.

childcare provider has said no to certain sandwiches as they make too much mess and they don't have staff to spare to help her eat them.

how messy can a sandwich be? Sandwiches are finger food and your daughter needs these types of foods to help her learn and develop, normally the messier the better as far as babies are concerned. She should be fed her meals as required and given sandwiches and finger foods as snacks that she doesn't need to be assisted to eat. These foods are more for learning rather than eating. Is this why your daughter doesn't get to eat her yoghurt during the day, incase of the mess? If your CM is worried about the mess when your daughter eats, does this mean they don't do any kind of messy play? Again, vital for developement.

the childcare provider was nowhere to be seen and someone who was a complete stranger to us (we'd never met her before) was there looking after daughter and seemed to be the only adult there.

a childminder is not allowed to leave a child in their care with anyone at any time unless that person is registered a the childminder's assistanct and the childminder has your permission. Did you question the CM about this?

childcare provider says they don't have enough staff to spare to pick her up and comfort her when she cries.

??? Why is this acceptable to you? If your CM does not have time to clean up after a meal or to comfort your child when she needs it then I would question why you are using her services, she is obviously overstretched. I would want to know that if my child needed a cuddle she would get it, that is the very least anyone would want for their child.

Does your CM work with others? You have mentioned that your CM does not have enough staff, normally childminders work alone or with an assistant in their own home. Please confirm the set up of the provision.

KatyMac · 29/04/2012 15:10

I run a childminding setting - if you have queries about what is 'normal' you can PM me

insancerre · 29/04/2012 15:20

This thread has made me very sad.
This childminder sounds awful at not picking her up when she cries. This is a basic human need.
Please look for somewhere else as a matter of urgency and reprt her to Ofsted when you have- she obviously doesn't understand the importance of her role.

HSMM · 29/04/2012 15:27

Are the staff registered assistants?

cathysten · 29/04/2012 19:44

As a parent and a childminder I would say please call OFSTED if children are being left in the care of someone other than the childminder or a registered assistant, this is totally not on.
As for the other issues, I do know minders who would not always pick up a crying child, and who would let a 9 month old have crisps and biscuits, and I also know parents who would happily do the same. That's not how I do things, but I think as a parent you need to decide to what extent you need your childcare provider to follow the same approach/ethos as you would at home, and to what extent you are prepared to overlook some differences of approach (for me as a parent, the not comforting a crying child would be a deal breaker). The baby-led weaning/too much mess thing I would not be happy about - if you're going to take on a 9 month old then you have to be prepared for them to make mess, it's the only way they learn to feed themselves.
Might it help to at least investigate what other options are out there? You might get lucky and find another minder who is on the same wavelength as you. And please do ask the childminder about your child being left in someone else's care and if you're not happy with the response contact OFSTED, for the sake of all the children in their care.

lesstalkmoreaction · 29/04/2012 19:52

Are you seriously sending your child back there on Monday. The type of concerns you have are not acceptable and would wave a big red flag for me. You need to speak to her asap and address the concerns you have and report her to ofsted to investigate.
As a short term measure you could contact your local council and childrens centre and see if they have a list of current childcare providers, you may find one able to provide emergency cover.
But really when you have a concern it needs to be raised with the childminder immediately not days later on a forum.
Do you have a daily diary that tells you what she eats and where she goes, does she attend any local groups/children centres because most childminders would see it as part of their job to get out and about and if she stays home entertaining her friends then what are you paying for. Ask at the children centre if she is known to them as they usually know most of the minders locally.

duckdodgers · 29/04/2012 22:02

I don't get all this "childcare provider has no staff to pick up crying child" - you are now saying it is a child minder - whose job it is to do this, she/he doesn't need staff to do their job! If she has no time to do this then she is looking after far far too many children and will be above the numbers she is registered for!

KatyMac · 29/04/2012 22:13

duckdodgers a childminding setting could/would have staff; but that wouldn't excuse or condone this sort of behaviour

littlewillows · 29/04/2012 22:22

As a childcarer, you know the importance of a good diet, and how important a child's happiness is and having continuality is. It's a big no, no with ofsted to leave children in sole responsiblity of a stranger .To have friends and family around on the odd occassion, I don't see a problem as long they are not left alone with the children. I would look into a new cm.

wishiwasonholiday · 30/04/2012 07:51

They could be assistants, I got all my mum friends registered as my assistants for emergencies and also so that the parents knew people who regular come round are all crb checked/first aid trained, it also means I can nip to the loo etc when friends are there or at soft play without talking 6 children as I have parents permission to leave them all. You obviously haven't given permission? I would speak to the cm and also report to ofsted.

Octaviapink · 01/05/2012 09:19

I am a childminder and a parent and to me this has Report To Ofsted written all over it.

duckdodgers · 02/05/2012 12:43

Youre rightkaty but a CM - or their staff then - wont be doing their job if they cant look after the children in their care.

BlueberryPancake · 02/05/2012 13:05

As a childminder, there are some circumstances that you can't pick up a child if he is upset. It happens very occasionally - if you are changing a baby's nappy for example, or when you need to cook. I look after one little boy who is 1 and he has to be in the same room as me all the time otherwise he cries. He is very attached to me and he won't let go, and it's fine as most of the time I am on the floor with him and other children, or sitting at the table. But it does happen occasionally - maybe for a couple of minutes a day, when I cook, that I have to shut the gate and he will cry. It does happen, occasionally. The solution for him is to put him in a high chair in the kitchen with me, and give him something to play with or a snack, but sometimes it is just not possible (such as when changing another baby's dirty nappy). I sometimes ask the parent to imagine that I am looking after 4 children from the same family - sometimes, one of them will be upset or cry if I have to give priority to another child. It is part of being in a family environment. However, I never never let a child cry without talking to him/reassuring him verbally and giving him big reassuring smiles.

We have very clear instructions that a child should never be left with another adult, family member, etc. If your childminder works with assistants she should have informed you. In case of an emergency, we should all have a list of local childminders where we could drop off children if one child needs to be taken to hospital or something serious happens. Also, I never have visitors during my working hours. I keep a log book of all visitors who come over when I am looking after children and in the last 6 months, I have had three mums-dads of potential clients, and only one visit from a friend who is a teacher. It's my job - if I was working in a nursery or a school, I wouldn't invite friends over to have a coffee at my workplace during working hours.

As for snacks, well that's unforgivable. I find it so so easy to give children healthy snacks, there is no excuse. All children love bananas apples raisins grapes melon veg sticks or at least one of the above! I even give them spinach leaves for snacks and they love it! No excuse....

Flip