What activities do you do which you don't think a male nanny/childminder would do?

[nannynick]

Whilst we may all like to feel that male and female childcarers will do the same activities with children in their care, in reality is that always the case? We all have our strengths and weaknesses. For example, I don't do much Art with the children... I will do lots of Lego, building railway tracks.

What activities do you like doing? Is that activity something that appeals more to girls than boys?

do you think that is a male/female difference, though, nick, or an individual one?

I don't do much art stuff with my own dc, but do do lots of lego and logic stuff (eg things like manipulating blocks like this)

for that reason, I would (and have) looked for people who are good at crafty/art stuff when looking for childcare (not exclusively, but I like it as a plus point) so that my dc get a balance. alternatively I bung my girls towards my brother, as he is definitely the one who got the art gene in our family!

I don't think it's a case of male/female, I think it's a case of each individual carer having varied strengths and weaknesses. For eg, I don't do much art with kids either as I'm not a hugely creative person - write happy to get they paints/goop/pencils etc out for them but you won't come home to a full on protect with me. However, I'm am active outdoorsy person so do go out almost every day with kids, run around, kick/throw a ball, etc and am also happy to play long, extended games like monopoly etc with the kids.

I don't think it's a male/female thing either, it comes down to personality. I do a lot of art/craft things with my charges and we will do big group projects. We socialise a lot and in the school holidays we will go to museums/galleries/days out etc.

I do very little cooking/baking with them and although I take them to the park etc. I'm usually to be found sitting on a bench while they play with their friends. We don't do much digging in the mud/outdoorsy type things.

My nanny friend is the complete opposite. She does no art whatsoever and has never taken them to a museum, but they're always outside in the summer. She also does sciencey type stuff with them, which I don't tend to do.

We're both female.

For me it's a combination of personality and what the children don't get from their parents e.g. they have grandparents who live on a farm and a holiday home in the country so often spend weekends in the mud, but their parents are not keen on the hassle of taking them all out on the tube. They do a lot of cooking with them, but won't do any art/craft. I enjoy doing the stuff they don't so the children get the best of both worlds.

Ditto not a m/f but personal preference

I am not a creative person at all and this is ever asked what my weakness is what I answer

Happy to do playdough paint etc but never gonna be outstanding displays from me

Also depends on the child. Boys often do like trains and cars and girls like dolls and hairdressers

Saying that my ex dc was a girl but a real tomboy and loved football so we would play out in the garden lots

Nick - would you happily sit and play hairdressers for hours??

I really think it depends on the person to a certain extent, as I said on twitter I'd be more likely to make mud pies, but at the same time my three charges are really into sewing at the moment so we spend time one on one doing that when we are home. But their dad sees their time with me as a going out thing, so we generally spend all day out of the house. We go for walks at the beach or at the park or softplay. I really enjoy arts and crafts as well and sciencey bits, both of which I have done with previous charges more.

with my little charge I spend a lot of time walking as there its not much to do here and she loves people watching. We do a bit of painting on occasion too.

I do wonder if childcare professionals do conform to what is expected of their gender to a certain extent though, especially as some people do prefer to hire men as they feel the children will be outside more and playing rough and tumble type games more and some will prefer women for their infants as they feel they'll be gentler, iyswim? Just recalling a conversation with a previous employer who asked my opinion on whether they should hire a male mh when I left and their friends experiences and opinions.

Blondes: just imagining nick with those toy pink rollers in his hair now

What about the charges who don't confirm to the gender stereotypes? My current 4yo lives his dolly and doing my hair and he is a whizz at sewing, he also prefers to stay indoors. His older sister enjoys the park and walks more too. She loves sewing but will only sit still for two minutes to do it before it becomes a chore to her.

Another thought: are the adults inn the childs life pushing the gender stereotypes on the child and hiring a carer of certain sex according to that too? I know that in my family they'd likely hire men to look after the children (if they did hire nannies or childminders) as they are very concerned with their boys being typical boys, the girls can be tomboys but the boys must be boys in their minds.

None, TBH.

I am not v good at activities with the kids.
DH does baking and art and stuff with them.
I don't think there is a divide between the sexes.

Having said that we do have girls and if I were more of a girly person maybe I'd dress them up and do their hair pretty and all that stuff. Is that the sort of thing you mean?

I can't think of a single childcare task that a man or woman would not be equally qualified to do. If they are in that business I would imagine that they would be willing to do any task involved in the care of small children.

DH loves doing the arty stuff and climbing trees. I love building with duplo and singing songs. Most of the rest of the play we do equally.

Ha ha confused pixie

My friends dh does a fab French plait - impresses me and better then mine !!!!

Nick - would you happily sit and play hairdressers for hours?

No, I wouldn't happily do it... though I would do it a little while.

As many of you have said, I agree with you that each individual carer has varied strengths and weaknesses. It's not a gender thing, it's down to what an individual likes doing.

My media coach seems to want me to emphasise the maleness of the activities I do with children... but I'm not so happy with that. Whilst it may make for a better radio interview, it's not being honest in my view. Whilst I may well do some things that could be said are more likely to appeal to a bloke - going on steam trains - it's not to say a female nanny would not do that sort of thing.

I do wonder if childcare professionals do conform to what is expected of their gender to a certain extent though, especially as some people do prefer to hire men as they feel the children will be outside more and playing rough and tumble type games more and some will prefer women for their infants as they feel they'll be gentler, iyswim?

I wonder if we sub-consciously do conform to stereotype some of the time. Whilst I would play hairdressers - I don't think I would enjoy it - but is that due to me being me, or due to me being a bloke?

Some parents may well hire a male nanny because they feel they will be more sporty - yet I don't really like football, rugby, cricket, that sort of thing. I do go to the gym these days... but I do Body Vive and Body Conditioning classes - where I am usually the only bloke.

Thanks for all your feedback... I think every nanny is an individual is a good way of saying things, rather than saying that a male nanny does stereotypical male things.

Wonder how that affects my recruit ability - if I'm just like any other nanny, what's my USP (unique selling point)?

I took my mindees on a steam train, with a female nanny : )

Having my DH working with me seems to attract parents of boys, so I think your USP is safe .

Blondes: The fact your friend's DH can manage a french plait at all impresses me, I can't do one for the life of me, I've tried on myself and on other people and have never managed one! It really upset my first charge that I just couldn't do it!

On the steam train thing, I'm taking my charges to one this summer, all of us are very much looking forward to it!

If I was hiring a male nanny, I would probably be trying to get a positive role model for my son......so would be looking for a USP of: lots of sport, intoducing him to things like cricket/basketball (i was at school where the girls did rounders/netball instead and i have no idea how to play) someone to impart vehicle/army type knowledge ( I have done one trip to the RAF museum and it was very dull).

Not sure if it would actually work, but from a media POV thats what would appeal.

I would at a guess expect a male childcarer to do less flower pressing, beading, french knitting and cross stitch. Not sure if that would be anywhere near true though!

I'm female and the automatic go-to person for dnephew with Lego and kite flying. Make Dp is more likely to get stuck in with the paints and crayons.

It's what you're good at. And what the child wants to do.

Well I don't even know what French knitting is . I have to say at every interview I can't sew a button on even. In fact just trying to think if I am good at anything really...... Pondering.

Had a mix of male APs and female APs and nannies.

It may be coincidence, but only one of the females could bear to play on a trampoline for any length of time, and none of the males liked art/craft stuff.

The males were OK at baking but would never think to suggest it. And whilst they will all happily sit through a children's DVD once, the boys all seemed quite happy to sit through and enioy the same DVD a dozen times, whereas the girls would generally rather rip their own eyes out than do this.

NannyNick - Surely the USP of a male nanny is that a child's early years can be so skewed towards female care givers, and later teachers, that the fact of being a male is a helpful redressing of the balance. It doesn't mean you need to adore rugby, but I think it can send a powerful (and negative) message to children that childcare is 'women's work' when all they ever see is women.

I don't think nannies need a USP as such, because what every family wants/needs is so, so different. It's just about ticking more boxes for that specific family than any other nanny would. That's why there are male nannies, female nannies, old nannies, young nannies, nannies who are qualified and those that aren't, nannies that drive and those who don't, nannies who play a musical instrument/ are good at sport/ can speak a foreign language, nannies who are very routine orientated and nannies who are baby-led, nannies who help around the house and nannies who won't, nannies who prioritise playing with the DC's and nannies for whom a tidy house is most important, nannies who are very sociable and nannies who are shyer, nannies who like to be out and about all day and nannies who prefer to stay at home etc etc etc.

Agree with youllaughabout it. Male nannies shouldn't have to conform to stereotype of male nannies or be some kind of sports god!

Hope the interview goes well.

are you going to be on the radio Nanny nick? is that why you have a media coach to help with what they want to hear..agree you should only say things that are relevant to you!

Over the years I have been asked various times... I decline the offers. A little while I thought about it and thought why not, it may be good to talk about being a nanny. So before doing so, I'm getting some assistance in how to structure things, what the media are probably wanting, that they don't mind hearing the same stories over and over again as it is probably the first time the listener has heard it, that sort of thing. So I'm working on the story of how I became a nanny and what it is I do.

Dozer you are quite right, male nannies shouldn't have to conform to stereotype - such as being a sports god. Female nannies shouldn't either... they can be a sports god if they like

wows, thats very exciting for you Nick, quite right to get advice on what it is they want(though through experience they are great at editing!!) which radio station...you will have to let us mumsnetters know when it on!! enjoy the experience its alot of fun!

I work with DH and I've noticed that he does prefer different activities to the ones I do.
He is the one who does rough and tumble games and runs around playing football etc with them.
I am more into the art and craft, music, cooking (quieter) activities.
We both do messy play but I have noticed that, at the back of my mind throughout the activity, I am aware of the clearing up we will have to do afterwards: DH is oblivious to this.

At our last OFSTED inspection, I showed the inspector through to the garden and cringed inwardly as I had to introduce my DH sitting underneath the climbing frame with a furry hat on his head, a banana stuffed in his mouth, pretending to be a gorilla
This is not a situation I would ever allow myself to be found in, although I admit to answering the door to a parent still wearing a cow mask.