CM telling DD to "shut up". WWYD?

[VivaLeBeaver]

Its DD's last week next week as we've given notice due to her been unhappy at the CM. I must admit we haven't told the CM that DD is unhappy as there didn't seem much point as we have something else lined up for DD. I'm not a fan of rocking the boat/conffrontation and as dd wouldn't be staying there didn't seem any point. I wasn't interested in trying to make things work as dd is so unhappy. She's 11yo by the way

Anyway CM is new to CM'ing. Started up in Oct/Nov.

According to DD she has removed al toys in the house as she got fed up of the clutter.

The kids are now banned from watching TV as a younger boy threw something at the TV. Not sure if the ban was temp or not but it went on for at least a week as DD was moaning every eve that she'd been bored - no games, no TV.

There is a no talking at the table rule. Not something I agree with but her house, her rules

Tonight the CM was in the kitchen, kids at table in the dining room. DD broke the rules and was talking to another girl. CM came in and yelled at them to shut up. DD repeated it in the manner that she says the CM said it - tone of voice, etc sounded very nasty from what dd says.

Meant to say;

Should I tell the CM that these are the reasons that we're moving dd. Won't benefit dd but I feel sorry for the other kids. It might make the CM take a look at her behaviour.

I'd report her to Ofsted - after my child had left. What an awful woman!

I think you should contact OFSTED and tell them what DD has said and tell them to investigate and also that is why you have moved DD.

I'm a CM - I don't talk to children like that - but I would tell her - I also think if she's annoyed at toys lying around and children talking etc then she's in the wrong job

Yes you should tell the CM why you are moving.

Re the shut up - it is rude to tell anyone to shut up. I told dd1 to shut up last week as she was screamming for no reason and dd2 was poorly and asleep. I said it because I lost my temper and was annoyed with myself afterwards. She should have explained her weird rules that your dd shouldn't be talking.

I'd tell Ofstead too.

Yes, I would say something, as well as going to OFSTED. This woman sounds dreadful.

I used to childmind, and on one parents last day she told me all the things she'd really appreciated, and that she thought I had been undercharging (which I thought was funny as she had lined up her friend to take her place - and I subsequently charged her friend more ).

So, yes, say something, as hopefully it will be taken on board immediately.

I'm a CM and there's no way I'd tell a child (mine or anyone else's) to 'shut up' - also taking all the toys away and having rules like telling the children not to talk while eating is in direct contravention of the principles of the Early Years Foundation Stage that she is legally obliged to deliver. You need to report her to Ofsted promptly as she is not doing anyone's child any good.

CM sounds unhinged and utterly in the wrong job if that is true. I take it DD is good and accurate at reporting things?

Thanks guys, will talk to Ofsted I think rather than directly to the CM.

Will Ofsted tell her its me thats said it? Or will it be made obvious even without naming me. If they say "a parent who has recently removed their child, etc" she is going to know its me. We live in the same small village and things could be awkward.

I don't have much luck with CMs.

First one was bonkers and was struck off with immediate effect by Ofsted which shot me in the foot big time. Turned out she was working elsewhere and leaving the kids with the unregistered lodger who I'd never met.

Second one was slightly bonkers, sometimes "wasn't there" when I went in the mornings to srop off which caused me problems. Then the next day she'd say sorry and that she'd been asleep. Then one eve she rang me at home and told me not to bother coming as booked the next morning as she'd decided she couldn't be bothered with the early starts.

Third one was lovely but stopped childminding.

And now this one.

I hope you have reported her to ofsted, It's unbelieveable that people like that want to look after children. They are not childcarers and should not be cm's. I'm a cm and I've meet some lovely cm's, so I hope you find a new cm, that generally loves children and ask about house rules because they should be for safety.

I don't think OFSTED will tell her. I've had a fair few malicious complaints made about me to OFSTED in the past few months and when they have investigated they haven't told me who it was who made the complaint

No, I think Ofsted will respect your confidentiality.