Aupair Holiday

[Julia1973]

We've had our aupair now for almost 2 years and obviously as we kept her so long are pretty happy with her. I would say that she has become part of the family. That's not to say that there aren't things that drive us nuts- like any person living together.
Anyway, my main issue with Ap is that she sometimes doesn't know when to respect personal space and likes to be centre of attenttion. This is usuallly an issue that we can deal with but since my husband went on tour to Afghanistan, it has become quite difficult for me to cope with.
My husband get back for a two week break in June. Knowing that she won't have the sensitivity to give us some family time, I would like to buy her a 5 day ticket to go home. I know however that this will upset her.
Do you think it's unfair to expect her to go home for 5 days if we pay?

No. I should think she would be pleased. Ask her.

Just noticed you said she'd be upset. Why would she?

why will it upset her?

She likes to be involved in everything and feels shut out if we don't consult her on things. I know that we are to blame for letting her be this demanding but she has been a fanatstic aupair to the kids.

To illustrate how easily she is offended: She will be leaving us in October (her choice) and I have found a replacement. For whatever reason she emailed the new aupair and asked how far in the decision making process we were and was quite hysterical that I hadn't yet told her that I'd offered the new aupair a contract.

She will feel pushed aside by the ticket.

She's entitled to 5.6 weeks holiday, as in off, away from you. You can choose 2 weeks of this so you can specify that she will not be required in those weeks. Offer her a ticket home or to another (cheap) destination. She may feel pushed aside for a short time but it's more important that you and your family have time together tbh.

She does sound very involved and it can get wearisome, you have my sympathy.

She sounds odd, how did she get the new au pairs email?!

That's interesting Fraktal. Thank You.

As for the email address- the new aupair was given her address (with her consent) to ask any questions about what its like as an aupair over here.

i think your aupair needs to grow up. yes, its nice to be informed and part of the process of finding her replacement /cant think of better word/. but you do it in your own time if you want to tell her.
I dont think you should book her ticket home, but say you need some space and offer ticket home or something else she chooses to do. i woudnt be impressed if someone booked a ticket home for me, i like to make choices for myself.

Her 'choice' may well be to stay at OPs home though.

OP you have to spell it out - I am terrible at this sort of thing at times but I can't see the alternative, if he is only back two weeks. I'm sure her parents would understand - if that's who she's going back to.

You could offer her a ticket to another destination but then how would she fund herself there? Fine to offer though.

Are you planning to be away for part of the time too?

Its good to get another point of view caterpillarr- I think that what i was worried about- being too presumptuous
Going away ourselves isn't really an alternative LadyHdS. With travel etc he's only really here for 12 days and with being away for 7 months altogether- he just wants to be at home.
Think I'm just going to have to risk having a conversation where i ask her to give us a weeks space -offer to fund a flight home- or leave an alternative up to her. As long as it's not here.