Newly single parent - how to find a great au pair

[Minimeee]

Hi all

So... husband died of cancer 3 weeks ago, dd is 3.10 with autism and ds 15 months. Think i could do with an au pair until I get used to new life, but a bit blinded by the sheer number of agencies out there when you hit google.

Can anyone recommend any good agencies and top tips on how to find a good 'un?

Thanks

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. :( You certainly deserve to have some help at the moment.

I usually say that au pair world is really great, but it is mostly girls in their late teens. Don't get me wrong, some of them can be fantastic, but mostly the only experience with children they have had is babysitting, so may not know how to deal with your DS really well (if he has severe autism).

However, the good thing about au pair world is that it is pretty cheap to join, and you can select the au pair yourself. You write your own profile, where you could include an explanation of your circumstances, and you could get a really lovely person to come. :)

I'm sorry, I have no knowledge of agencies, but good luck to you.

So sorry to hear about your husband.

Have to say that whether you go with an agency or through aupairworld- the aupair experience is very much hit and miss. Even a good aupair can be emotionally exhausting. I don't know whether a more mature mother's help might be more advisable?

Whatever you decide to do- I wish you all the best and hope you find someone to share the burden with.

Have you contacted Sure Start?

Sorry for your loss. We used an au pair when my son was little. We and a few of our friends found really good au pairs on Gumtree, we posted an advert with a picture of our child and wrote about what we required etc. The narrowed it down and then met 5 and we chose the one that we liked best/seemed most comfortable with DS.

www.gumtree.com/babysitting-nannies-jobs

OP- what are you looking for the person to do? And what sort of hours?

Thanks everyone. No guarantees on who you'll get, I know...

ladyharrietdespook I'm thinking mainly the 5-7.30 bath/bed shift, some evening babysitting when they're in bed, plus the odd hour or two babysitting my 1 year old. And an extra pair of hands for Sunday family outings

Definatley look on au pair world. May find for example a lady mid 20s who is actually a qualified teacher/ special needs experience in their country but no work to be found so looking for a break abroad. Those hours would be perfect for someone who may want to go to English lessons am and then help you pm for a few hours

So very sorry for your loss.
I did not have a good au pair experience but if I did it again I would not rely on the references and I would make sure I had lots of conversations / skype calls with prospective au pairs first. I would also verify that she had lived away from home before.
Good luck. They can give you great help.