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mindee still not talking...concerned

10 replies

woahthere · 31/03/2012 09:09

I look after mindee 40 hours a week. I have had her since she was 7 months old. She is now 2 years 2 months and she still isnt talking. The only 2 words I can think of that she actually says are Mama and go. I have spoken to the Mum about it several times but she thinks she's fine and still a baby, but I know other 2 year olds who are having full conversations. She should be able to say far more words than this. She is very intelligent and is hitting all of her other developmental milestones. She is vocal and loves to sing but there are no formed words. I talk to her a lot and I make time to sit with her and talk to her so she can closely see me and I read to her a lot. She understands everything I say, she just cant form the words. I repeat words to her and say 'say xxxxx' and I'll say it slowly and clearly. And she does try but it doesnt come out even close, or she'll just sort of hum the word rather than moving her mouth or tongue. I feel bad for her now because she must be getting frustrated as her independance increases, she asks for things by putting her hands in front of her but then she cant say what she wants. I have taught her a few basic signs such as drink, thank you, more which helps a little. I asked Mum when she was having her 2 year check and she hadnt received appointment yet (its not uncommon for them to be late round here). I then said that I thought it would be a good idea to talk to hv about speech as I thought she should be talking more by now. However, apparently her other daughter didnt talk for a long time either but is fine now she is 6. I dont want to appear pushy and obvs Mums know their children but I dont want to have not done enough for this little girl. Is there anything else Ican do. I think ive tried lots of things already but any suggestions and I'll let you know if Ive tried it!

OP posts:
wishiwasonholiday · 31/03/2012 09:42

Is she a second child? My ds is 2.3 and speaks quite a lot but not all recognisable to other people, at his 2 year check they said 2 words is what they'd expect for a second child before they were concerned. Has she had a hearing check lately? My ds had speech problems and his hearing was fine but mostly sorted now apart from a lisp.

jeee · 31/03/2012 09:54

My three daughters were all very delayed talkers - much slower than your mindee. By five they had all caught up. I think you need to listen to the mother who has told you her other daughter was slow.

You're obviously concerned - which is good. But as a mother in this situation I'd find it upsetting if you kept raising the issue when I'd explained why I wasn't too worried. Also I think you are trying too hard - telling a child to say XXX when they can't speak isn't good. To be blunt, I'd actually remove my child if I found out this was happening. Take a few steps back, please.

And I'm sure it will be flagged up in her developmental check.

insancerre · 31/03/2012 10:00

This is a very good website talking point
the Ican website is very good too
Teaching her signs is good but the advice is not to ask children to repeat words- it just puts pressure on them and creates frustration and low self-esteem.
If mum is convinced there is nothing wrong then there's not much you can do except hope that somebody else picks it up. It is possible for you as a childmimder to refer her to the SALT but that would require her mum's permission.

DeepThought · 31/03/2012 10:07

yes please don't put pressure on by asking the child to repeat words, that's not recommended.

Caroline Bowen has a very good website, have a dig around for reference purposes You should detail your concerns in writing to the parents, and keep a copy in your records, to show that you have flagged up a concern.

Do you have concerns about her hearing? That might be worth asking the parents to investigate too.

Karoleann · 31/03/2012 10:49

Neither of mine said much at that age either, at two ds2 said no mama dada cock cock (chocolate) and dat (that).
He's 4 in July and his speech is really good.
I really wouldn't say anything again, the mum isn't worried, and you'll just annoy her by mentioning it again.
Oddly my daughter who's 11 months says hiya already.

woahthere · 31/03/2012 16:01

Thats all very reassuring to hear, thank you, I will relax a bit about it. At what age would you say it is a concern? I do worry about these things, because its such a responsible job and as a cm you spend so much time with them and you want them to excel and you worry you're doing something wrong. Its answered my question about referring them, because I wondered if we were meant to intervene if we thought there was a problem, but now I realise we're not.
With regard to asking her to repeat words, I feel a bit stupid now, Im not sure what is wrong with asking them to try and say a word? Im not pressuring her, or making her do it or withholding anything until she says it. Its only things like...'shall we go and get the ball....look you've got it, good girl what is it, its ball...can you say ball?' and then she might have a go at saying it. I thought everyone did this kind of thing while they were playing. I will stop doing it though if its wrong. Bit harsh jeee to say you would remove a child for trying too hard of all things, but Im sure that if you knew me and my relationship with the child you wouldnt feel the same.
The Mum and I have a very good relationship, I've not annoyed her at all. The first time I asked her she just said nonchalently 'oh shes just a baby' and it was left at that. The next time we talked about it was a few months later when she explained that older sister talked late and my response was ...hands up in the air, I'll butt out now gesture and I said something like 'Oh well you know her the best and she might do the same thing then'. She wasnt at all angry with me and I hadnt dreamt of saying anything else.
I just was keen for some advice. Its because all of mine have talked early and its what Im used to.
Her hearing seems fine to me, she understands everything you say and if you ask her to go and get her shoes or something like that she'll trot off and get them so I don't think there is a problem there. thank you.

OP posts:
insancerre · 31/03/2012 16:15

It's a good thing that you are concerned- it shows you have te child's best interests at heart.
I work with children too, in a day nursery and have often come across resistance from parents when concerns are raised. I remember one little boy who was not speaking at 3, didn't seem to hear very well and was just not where he should have been. i did raise my concerns with his mum, but she dismissed it all saying that his older sister was just the same and she was fine now. I was concerned that he was off to school soon and I knew he was nowhere ready, but without mum's consent I could do nothing.
When he had been at school for a couple of months we had a phone call from mum asking if we would talk to the school as he wasn't doing very well and they had concerns. She did say that she should have listened to what we were telling her but she juts didn't realise how much it would affect him.
It's a good example of how undervalued ealy years practitioners are. we are the ones who spot these things but often don't get the professional recognition we deserve.
Hopefully, that will change with the introduction of the 2 years check when the new EYFS comes in.

RitaMorgan · 31/03/2012 16:29

Very few 26 month olds are having full conversations, and I have worked with plenty of 26 month olds who are only saying a few words. I would lay off the mum a bit and wait for after the developmental check - I doubt they would refer to SALT at such a young age anyway.

In the meantime you can keep talking to the child, and keeping signing. Good tips to encourage language would be things like using words/sentences just a little ahead of what the child is using (so if she is using some one word utterances, you can try putting them into two word utterances for her), get down on her level and face her when you speak to her, and keep repeating the key word in a sentence for her - eg "where's the ball? You've got the ball! The red ball. Look, roll the ball" and she might try repeating the word herself.

I think it's a positive thing that you've noticed her development and are concerned. Just keep talking to her slowly and clearly, and keep background noise (TV and radio) to a minimum, and see what unfolds in the next few months.

insancerre · 31/03/2012 16:32

I did a speech and language course recently and the emphasis was on modelling language, like ritamorgan says. Also they said only ask a child a question if you don't know the answer. They said to avoid questions- stick to statements.

thebody · 02/04/2012 14:22

What a lovely cm you are, can't understand the withdrawing child comment.

Having said that my ds2 didn't talk much until he was 3 half, he's quiet now tbh and 21. All develop at different paces and milestones only a rough guide.

Back off from mum, record your concerns as we have to do as childminders and c how it goes.

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