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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Would you look after a friends ds for free?

15 replies

Distel · 01/02/2006 11:21

I have had a huge argument with my dad as he thinks my friend takes advantage of me as I look after her 1yr old ds for 10 hours a week for nothing. He says we need the money as much as she does (which is true) but I am at home with my ds and dd anyway. Is this as uncommen as he seems to think it is?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hotmama · 01/02/2006 11:28

It's got naff all to do with your dad!

If you are happy and as you say you would be looking after your dd/ds anyway - what's the problem.

Hopefully, she will help you out if you needed her to - isn't that what friends do?

Isyhan · 01/02/2006 12:39

If you charge youd have to get registered as a CM.

Bozza · 01/02/2006 12:48

It's not your Dad's business. My friends look after my kids occasionally but not on a regular basis (eg will collect DS from school if CM is on holiday). I would feel bad in your friend's position. However if you are happy with it, fine.

jothorpe · 01/02/2006 13:13

As others have said, it isn't up to your dad, it's up to you. It sounds as though it's a formal arrangement you have with your friend, which could pose a problem - as Ishyan mentions, if you care for a child for more than 2 hours, you need to register as a childminder (regardless of if there is any financial payment happening incidently).

A friend coming over to play is different as it isn't a regular formal arrangement, but you say you are providing 10 hours per week, so I would suspect that you could be pushing the rules a bit - if you are in England. If you are in Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland - or anywhere else for that, you will need to check local laws.

Having a friends child come over every now and then I would say is not uncommon - it's good for children to socialise and helps give another parent an hour or so off... also helps to know other local parents as you can then get the favour returned, so you get some time to yourself.

Having a regular agreement, such as I suspect you have, I would say is uncommon, unless you are a Register Childminder or Approved Childcarer(Nanny).

LoveMyGirls · 01/02/2006 16:18

10 hours a week is ok as long as it is for 2 hours a day without payment i know cause i spoke to ofsted the other day about it hth

cod · 01/02/2006 16:18

Message withdrawn

Isyhan · 01/02/2006 16:43

Jothorpe - its only if you are being payed. theres loads of mums round me who have each others children regularly but do not need to be registered they are just helping each other out and cutting the cost of childcare by doing it.
I dont know of any arrangement where one mum has someone elses kids all the time thats just called 'taking the '

intergalacticwalrus · 12/02/2006 12:41

I have just come across this, and I am the friend who's DS Distel looks after for free. I feel terrible about it, and I have actually laid awake at night worrying that I am taking the piss. I didn't realise that it was such a concern for you, chick. I hate my job as it is, maybe I should hand my notice in, and we'd all be better off!!!!!!!!!!!

cod · 12/02/2006 12:56

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 12/02/2006 13:02

i think it could only be a problem IF the child were to have an accident, become injured or fall ill whilst under your care. IIRC, you could be held liable for this in court.

mszebra · 12/02/2006 13:03

I think it's a really nice thing to do for a friend, wish I had some friends like that.

Isyhan · 12/02/2006 13:05

oops didnt mean to be harsh sorry .

katymac · 12/02/2006 13:21

IGW - do you help Distel out at all?

Having her children, picking up a bit of shopping (to save her going out), maybe doing a basket of ironing

IMO there are things more important than money - why not chat together and see if there is a way you can help her - that way you are both happy and no-one feels hard done to...

katymac · 12/02/2006 13:22

Also there is a lot of positive feelings that can come from helping friends - if it's reciprocal then that's even better

riab · 16/02/2006 13:01

I wouldn't do it like you do. I think now and again is fine especially if its reciprocal in some way but 10 hours a week every week I think your dad has a point.

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