what's reasonable to ask of nanny about what she's doing with my children?

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can I ask as someone who has her first nanny starting in a few weeks - what is reasonable for me to expect in terms of what she tells me about the chidlrens day. I though a book so that she can write in main activities planned or done with children, what they have had for meals and anything else important - is that reasonable to ask for? Also to start with I would really like to hear in the middle of that day eg by text that all is ok with my 2 year old and her and that 5 year old settled at school ok etc..? I won't see her 2 days a week as it will be my husband handing over or being handed over to...I am tring to control my control freak tendancies (!) but feel nervous about going back to work properly for the first time after my children so want to hear all about what they're upto and where they are but am conscious that my nanny is very experienced so want to get the right balance for me and the nanny..

1. A book is a good idea. A nanny diary is a standard thing to have and it shouldn't be a problem for your nanny.

1. The text thing is maybe a bit much. I think it would be better to ask her to text if there is a problem, if all is not ok with your 2 year old or if your 5 year old didn't settle ok at school. Having said that, if you really need the daily text then ask her. It's not widely unreasonable and I'm sure she'll understand.

I think the best thing to do is to explain to the nanny that you're worried about leaving them. I'm sure she'll text/email/take pictures as she feels it necessary.

Maybe you could get your 5 year old a camera so that he/she can take pictures to show you what they've been doing/where they've been with nanny.

Don't forget that your nanny (as long as you're home in time) will be able to give you/your DH a detailed report of the day at handover. Also your 5 year old will be able to tell you what he did/where he went/how he was at school, it's not like leaving a baby who can't speak.

I have diary that I write what my charge has eaten, how much milk she's drunk, what time and how long she has napped for, what we've done that day and if she's poo'd! I also add photo's when I get a moment.

I also text my boss during the day just to check in, let her know how she is, what she's been up to. Not every day, sometimes there is just not enough hours in the day!

I don't mind if my boss texts me during the day but do remember that she might not be able to reply straight away (and then might forget ) so don't panic!

Let her know that you trust her though. I know my boss trust me with her child so don't mind that she asks if all is well, don't make it sound like you are checking up on her.

I have always written in a diary, with all the info that Callaird has said(if caring for a baby) with other aged children I always write what they have eaten. Its also useful for communcation between you and the nanny, sometimes we forget to mention something or think of something during day! however don't patronise her, my boss on a weekly basis tells me that the chicken is in the freezer and it will need defrosting before cooking!!!
My boss texts me everyday to see how they are, I think this is nice as have worked for other families who didm't even say goodbye to the children!!
I am sure any nanny wouldn't mind you texting, sure they would understand that you are their Mum and would like to know how they are.
Agree again with Callaird it isn't always possible to answer straight away or nanny may not have reception.
Any professiona;l nanny will always let you know if there is a problem! and will be capable of dealing with it!
You could ask her just to text you after lunch to say what they have been doing!
Ask her to let you know on a monday her plans for the wk. sure they will be a dairy. After a few weeks you will get to know which groups they go to on which days, so you will be able to talk to your children about them when you come home.
Good luck with it, its perfectly natural to want to know what they are doing!

Whilst you may be a control freak, whilst at work you are working, you don't want to be worrying about your children. That's why you have a nanny, you have them to worry about the minor things and they contact you in the event of major problems. Sometimes a nanny may contact you with a problem plus a soluition they have implemented at the same time, so keeping you informed but not having to do anything - example: sewer blockage.

The first few weeks can be hard for everyone, so communication via text messages can help to reassue everyone that things are going ok and resolving little niggles quickly.
Mileage log, photos, a diary can all help you get a better idea of what happens each day - though you get that info at a later time.

Be confident in the person you have hired, avoid micromanagement. Trust does need to be built up over time but if you don't initially start by trusting them a bit things may not turn out well. Trust them to decide on places to go, give them a list of places you know your children like to go, then see how things get along.

Our (lovely and also very experienced) nanny writes a daily diary for us (just a page) with activities, food, poos, plus anything extra worth noting. I also leave the camera in the changing bag and she often takes photos and videos during the day. I sometimes text just to touch base, even if I'm not concerned - I just like to feel I have had a bit of contact during the day! I'm sure your nanny wouldn't mind this, especially to start off with.