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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

what do nannies want most from employers??

38 replies

stella1w · 10/03/2012 00:36

apart from as high a salary as possible, what are nannies looking for in a job? what kind of perks are expected, or just nice-to-haves? should overtime be double pay?
I have found my dream nanny and want to make her an offer that's realistic (I can't pay top end of the scal) and shows she is valued..

OP posts:
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nannynick · 10/03/2012 07:25

Nannies don't all want as high a salary as possible. Some of us have had higher paying non-nanny jobs in the past.

Every nanny, like every child, is unique. What appeals to one, may put off another. So avoid making assumptions - get to know your nanny and what they like/dislike.

Nannies in general I would say like a boss who is a good time keeper. They don't like a boss who leaves their office for example an hour late but has not forwarned their nanny. Travel delays happen, especially on trains, but leaving the office late is not a travel delay.

Communicate efficiently with your nanny, don't expect them to mind read. If you want them to do something particular, tell them so, not give cryptic clues.
Nannies like all employees like to paid on time. If pay date is the end of the month, then that is when the pay must be in the nannies account. We now have fast payments interbank, so should be no excuses for not paying on time.
Small things go a long way - please, thank you, that cake was really lovely, I'm home early so do you fancy a cup of tea then do feel free to go home.

What overtime? You have agreed working hours - are those hours realistic? On the rare occasion that overtime may occur, pre-agree what happens... time off in lieu perhaps.

chocchipbrioche · 10/03/2012 10:32

I agree with what nannynick has said and as a nanny myself I would also like to add -
Respect. For me it's a big decider as to how your future relationship goes with your nanny. You have employed your nanny to look after your children and she will hopefully form a great bond with the children which is different to the one you have with your children. I know it's hard to go out to work and leave your children and see them being raised by another and having a loving relationship with them but in no way is she trying to come between you and your children or push you to the side. I only mention this as it was a big issue in my prevous job where I constantly had problems of my boss talking down to me and going on about trying to take over her family. Of course this is also about a persons own insecurities and isn't aways the case.
Another issue for me was that a parent would ask my advice on how to do something as a professional and having more experience than the parent, ie toddler tantrums, fussy eaters and then after listeing to my advice completely ignore it. Which again is up to the parent to take the information how they want to but don't then go on about why your child isn't doing something properly and you're still having the same problem.
Also don't talk down to your nanny especially infront of the children or friends and don't undermine her. Again it comes down to respect. How would you like to be treated in your work place. Would you like it if someone contradicted everything you did infront of colleagues or after you had sorted something out came in and changed everything you had just done. There is nothing more frustrating for me than to be dealing with a childs behaviour and then for the mum to come in and take over and no back me up.

NiftyNanny · 10/03/2012 15:58

Timekeeping is a big one and it has to be realistic - if you contract someone til 6.30 but regularly walk in at 6.35 or 6.40 and then chat about the kids, would you be happy if the nanny held you up for half an hour in the mornings? Maybe you should consider paying until 6.45.

Communication is also so important to get right. It might be useful to cone up with a list of duties even down to little things that make a difference to you. They might have a different way of doing things but if you like things done a certain way, telling the nanny instead of resenting them will help!

redglow · 10/03/2012 16:42

I agree treat nannies with respect and get it back. I sometimes get a bunch of flowers , goes a long way with me. A phone all to say you are going to be late. One nice employer used to get me in diet coke, which was thoughtful. Money is not that important as a really nice job.

nannyl · 10/03/2012 19:13

I always wanted nice honest bosses...

who treated me as a human (not a slave)
and let me know if they were going to be late etc before they were 20 mins late already

A bit of give and take

to be "allowed" to do normal things with the children.... toddlers / singing group / the odd soft play session and a few special day trips (eg beach / zoo) in the holidays and see my local nanny friends who had similar age charges

to not be over-ruled in front of the children

to be paid on time

to be appreciated / thanked when i did extra things

to be asked what to do rather than 'told'

Thankfully all my bosses were great, but id rather all / any of the above over very high salary / gym membership / or any other perks

TinOfTigerFood · 10/03/2012 19:58

I want them to back me up and not undermine me, especially in front of the children.
I want them to respect my privacy and be clear with me about their wishes.

AuntLucyInPeru · 10/03/2012 20:07

Interesting thread - keep them coming, it's good to get a spread of views (always amazes me how 'paid on time' gets mentioned - who the hell doesn't pay their employees exactly on schedule!? How on earth are these nannies supposed to manage their finances if you 'forget' to pay them!?)

history · 10/03/2012 21:27

very interesting thread - can I ask as someone who has her first nanny starting in a few weeks - what is reasonable for me to expect in terms of what she tells me about the chidlrens day. I though a book so that she can write in main activities planned or done with children, what they have had for meals and anything else important - is that reasonable to ask for? Also to start with I would really like to hear in the middle of that day eg by text that all is ok with my 2 year old and her and that 5 year old settled at school ok etc..? I won't see her 2 days a wek as it will be my husband handing over or being handed over to...I am tring to control my control freak tendancies but feel nervous about going back to work properly for the first time after my children so want to get the right balance for me and the nanny..

stella1w · 10/03/2012 22:04

thanks for all the replies. I had a nanny once and always got home on time and always paid her on time and I hope I always treated her respectfully.
I am about to hire a nanny and can't pay her at the top of the scale (much as I would like to), so really was looking for other ways to encourage her to take the job ie. what perks and benefits could I offer, or terms and conditions?

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 10/03/2012 22:18

Ok - if you are talking about tangible things - can you offer...

  • Additional leave
  • Reasonable kitty so they can go and do things
  • A decent coffee machine (at your house) Grin

....

Hmm - actually a bit stumped after that if it has to be things that don't cost you anything.

nannynick · 10/03/2012 23:12

Amount of paid time off?

Are you thinking perks like gym membership? That costs money and may not be used much.

HolyNoSheDittantBatman · 10/03/2012 23:34

The number one thing for me is being able to plan my day and not to be dictated to about where we should go, who we should see, what we should eat etc. Ability to go out to different places both financially (a good kitty) and in terms of being trusted to take the children somewhere the parents haven't been or somewhere that is further away.

Home on time and paid on time also important.

A 'thank-you' at the end of the day/week/month. Appreciation rather than expectation when I've done something extra for them. An understanding when something hasn't been done due to extraneous circumstances.

I think all nannies just want to work for nice families who live up to their responsibilities as an employer and make coming into work enjoyable.

In terms of perks and benefits;

the best thing for me is extra holiday
a period of 'downtime' during the day
as few housekeeping type things as possible

A house that is 'good' for looking after children in in a good location is important to a lot of nannies, but that's not something you can change obviously. I think all you can do is try and come across as a good employer during the interview and hope she likes you and takes the job regardless of the pay.

BornToShopForcedToWork · 11/03/2012 02:26

Respect. I don't want to feel like my employers look down on me, I want them to respect me as a person and not somebody they pay and can treat as they please. I am a live-in nanny, so to have a good relationship with my employers is even more important than somebody who goes home in the evenings (at least this is my opinion). I could go on and on but the most important things have already been said.

Luckily my current employer treat me very well and in return I do things they are not my actual duties (ironing my bosses shirts for example while my little one is asleep then otherwise my boss would have to do it at the weekend. Both of my employers have a very busy job and when they are at home at the weekend I want them to have as much time as possible with their child and with each other, so I try to do as much things as possible to make their life a little bit easier).

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/03/2012 09:56

obv a nice salary helps Grin as much as i love children i also do this as a job as have bills etc to pay - so yes being paid ON TIME is essential- it is amazing how many of my friends dont get paid on time :(

being home on time is also important, obv trains are delayed/meetings over run etc, but if you are meant to be at home by 6.30 so need to leave the office by 5, you ring at 5pm NOT at 5.30/6 saying you will be late

NEVER undermind - always back up, just as us nannies will back up the parents

if you come home early then either keep out of the way and let the nanny do their job, or let them go early and you finish off tea/bath - dont get in the way as tbh many children play up when their parents come home and what was a peaceful household comes manic

and a thank you/odd bunch of flowers wine if your my employer goes a long way Grin

nannynick · 11/03/2012 10:32

I went for an interview once where the family would not permit the nanny to leave the home/garden during their working day (yes, the agency didn't mention that prior to interview).

So giving your nanny some freedom, not micromanage them. Start off as you mean to go on... if it becomes clear more management is needed, then do so but don't start off that way.

nannynick · 11/03/2012 10:35

Stella - has your nanny said they will take the job at this stage? Your nanny will have a salary they NEED to earn, if you can't meet that, then no amount of perks will make them work for you.

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/03/2012 12:47

very true nick - thats what i meant but you said it much better Grin

timetosmile · 11/03/2012 12:59

Not a nanny but an employer who pays on time!

I think my nanny appreciates...

A kitty is a must to allow her to be independant... to go off for the afternoon / potter down the High street and go for coffee and a cake with DC.

Being employed until 6..as I usually am home by 5.30 it gives us both a bit of flexibility.

Me coming down like a ton of bricks if I hear DC being a bit cheeky to her and backing her up discipline-wise.

Accommodating her preferred leave dates by planning (often several months ahead) where possible.

Remembering Birthdays, Easter etc with presents and card..DCs made her a birthday cake and they all had party food with her for tea though whether she wanted cocktail sausages and crisps for her evening meal is debatable

I think most of it boils down to a little thoughtfulness and good manners!

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/03/2012 14:30

very true timetosmile

basically treat your nanny as you would like your employer to treat you

magicOC · 11/03/2012 20:39

Fairness.

Agree with all of the above, but, would also like to add

Compassion if sudden bereavement occurs especially a close family member. Don't expect to be given prior warning, sometimes there is no warning. If they need time off pls be considerate. (bitter experience talking here)

It's hard to explain, but, the job I am in at the moment don't need to buy me flowers/chocs/wine etc I just know I am appreciated. I'm fortunate enough to have employers that back me up, pay me on time, leave a generous kitty, leave the house in the same state they expect to find it (ie a place for everything and everything in it's place, not expecting me to be running at the back of them). They always text if they are running late as well.

It's the little things that count.

BrandyAlexander · 11/03/2012 20:48

Sorry to hi jack but I have to ask.....I often see the comment about employers not paying on time. How??!! I pay my nanny on a weekly basis by standing order. Isn't that the norm?

nannynick · 11/03/2012 20:51

I would have thought that monthly payment would be more then norm, as payroll companies can charge more for doing weekly payslips rather than monthly.
Pay can vary month to month (or pay period to pay period) so standing order may not be suitable. Thus I suspect a lot of employers wait for the payslip to come through and then aim to remember to transfer the money to the nannies bank account before the end of the month.

magicOC · 11/03/2012 20:55

Novice, that's what I wondered too.

Although, when I started the job, I was being paid on a friday, but, due to delays in bank transfers I wouldn't see it in my account till monday or tues. That's no ones fault though I guess. My employers kindly set up the transfer on the wednesday so it appeared in my account on the friday.

BrandyAlexander · 11/03/2012 21:08

Ah, thanks Nick. Being paid weekly was probably the only thing my nanny asked for so was happy to accomodate it. I pay exactly the same amount each week, out of my bank account on Wednesday (like Magic's employer) which arrives in her bank account on a Friday. I true up when I pay the tax to hmrc on a quarterly basis. Nannytax charge the same whether they do weekly or monthly payslips. In this day and age, I am genuinely shocked that people would be so rude as to forget to pay on time!!

r3dh3d · 11/03/2012 21:11

Novice - the issue is if you are using a gross pay contract, and especially if the Inland Revenue dick about with the Nanny's tax code. Then the net pay amount can be different every month and you can't set it up on Standing Order, you have to do it manually every time. If you key it in before the end of the month, it can come out at surprisingly random times (especially if the month end falls on a weekend) If it comes out early the money may not be there, if it comes out late it may end up being the start of the next month. So you have to remember to key it in on the day you want the money to move. It's a bugger (pardon my French). Imo, a "proper" payroll company would not just calculate the wages and generate the payslip, but would move the money on the specified day for you and debit your account. As it stands, there's always the risk the employer will have a brain fart and forget. Genuinely forget, but that's no help to the Nanny if their mortgage is due.

I think the thing to remember (I'm an employer, not a Nanny, but have stayed friends with past Nannies so have some idea what bugs them) is that it's not just an employer-employee relationship, it's also a jobshare. Nannies that come in on Monday to find the house like a bombsite, no food in the fridge, heaps of washing and the kids spoiled rotten because the parents have been underminding agreed discipline rules all weekend - get incredibly narked. You'd be the same if you were doing a jobshare and you came in on Monday with deadlines to beat and found your email was all to cock and you couldn't find anything in your files. If the person you were jobsharing with was also your boss and clearly thought they were paying you enough to clean up after them, that wouldn't make you feel any happier about it.

Mind you, there may be good reasons that the house is a disaster on Monday mornings. If you have an incredibly hyper job you may have to fit the whole of the rest of your life into the weekend and just not have the time or energy to eg clean the kitchen. But in that case get the cleaner to come Monday mornings. Or at the very least, apologise.