Waht do you pay your Aupair? How does that compare to tohers you know?

[Principality]

I have has a go on the search engine but couldn't find much up to date...

I have been a nanny myself, and now work for an agency, but I have never had any dealings with aupairs before! I know several people in real life who have aupairs... but IMO don't treat them as they should :( with regards to both salary and duties. The most obvious one who springs to mind, pays her AP £45 a week and her duites are more like a full time nanny....

I am thinking about having an AP come and stay with us as I work from home most of the time (any time when I have meetings I can leave DS2 with my mum/friend) and think this would make me so much more efficient... and less guilty for using the cbeebies babysitter for an hour a day...

I am looking on AP world... but they suggest 140-170 pounds per month.... that sounds much lower than (common sense) and people on here suggest?

The role I am looking at is not a difficult one by any means I don't think...

AP will not be required to get up and help in the mornings. I will drive chidren to school.(DS1 full time, DS2 3 mornings per week). I would just need her to entertain DS 2 in the other rooms whilst I work for 2 hours or so in the afternoon. (nothing too difficult, playing with toys, reading, drawing, maybe go across the road to the little woods, etc). Later on in the day I would like some help with either keeping an eye on/ playing with DS2 whilst I help DS1 with homework, or vice versa. Reading with DS2 in the evening. Tidying up downstairs after dinner whilst I get the boys ready for bed/bath etc. Hoovering and the odd bit of tidying. No laundry, except maybe putting folded clothes away into the drawers. I have mentioned one nights babysitting, I doubt we will use it often, but I'd like it mentioned so it is available if I want it. No school runs. No sole charge, or maybe only very occasionally- and not of the little one for any length of time. Really it is the sort of stuff that I would be happy asking my 17 year old babysitter to do (actually I'd leave her happily in sole charge because she is wonderful!! But you know what I mean!)

I found someone who I thought ticked all the boxes... but she asked for £550pcm!! She said that is what her friend gets... I am pretty sure she is trying it on, sadly. I am not prepared, or able to, pay that sort of ammount. I was thinking more in the region of £75pw. Does that sound ok?

What do you pay, and what sort of role does your AP take?

Thanks

£550pm does sound a lot. I'm a nanny and my current employer is going to change to an aupair when I leave this summer and is going to offer £120pw. But that is definitely on the higher end as B4 is special needs. From all the research we have done (ie Gumtree) £60-75 seems to be the norm for a 30 hour week.

We pay £70 for 20 hours per week. We know lots of au pairs but have only compared salaries with one other family who pays £75 p/w for about six hours a day not including the two nights' evening babysitting.

Ours also includes two night babysitting within the £70 - not Saturday nights though. We pay extra for that.

Au pair works alongside a nanny, it's not a sole charge role. And we have a very generous holiday policy as DH is a teacher.

If it were a sole charge role with the 'normal' amount of holidays, I would probably pay a bit more.

That is not far off what I pay my nanny/AP hybrid for 25hour mostly sole charge with a 10mo (plus a few other benefits).

I think anything below £70 is too low and the AP may feel exploited unless you can be extremely flexible with timings to accommodate language lessons etc. £75-80 is normal.

It also depends on the profile of the AP - EMT APs command a premium, graduates, drivers and decent childcare experience also tend to get more. IME French and German au pairs are also either canny bargainers or people are just willing to pay more.

Yep I think I would be paying £80 for the same terms I've mentioned above if the role were sole charge. As it stands, the au pairs really can lean on the nanny quite a lot so I think our rate is fine.

However, it also depends what other benefits you offer. £70 would be fine for 25 hours IMO if you were also doing things like paying for a gym and allowing them to use your car for personal use but not paying for petrol. We don't do either of these things.

From speaking to our AP briefly last night I think £75 is what most people get. This would include a morning and afternoon gig.

SOrry - so more like 25-30 hours per week.

Thanks for everyone who shared their experiences.

Yes, I am very flexible with course timings. As my work is flexible I am happy to work around them, within reason. I'm happy for her to study or do as she pleases in the mornings, or evenings and can switch things around if needs be so she can have one or two afternoons instead if needs be. (Altho having spoken to the local college the ESOL courses are morning or evening). It will really be a post lunchtime thing (2pm onwards), until about 6pm. I would guess 4 hours a day- but I plan on initially agreeing to 25hours per week, so there is slack there if I need it at a later date.

I do not want or need English as native language. I am thinking probably Spanish. Their English doesn't need to be great, as DH and I speak school level spanish and MIL is a Spanish teacher if we got really stuck! But IME you pick up a language SO quickly when you are immersed in it. (I stayed in Pamplona for a month on an exchange at 14 and I was brilliant when I came back!!... But without practising I lost most of it...)

I would like to think I will be a nice AP host, with a fairly easy role comapred to others I have spoken to, and be flexible to fit in with her plans. So hopefully £75 is about right then.

Sadly I have had another few girls that I thought might be ok come back and say they want £550pcm/ £150pw.... So they are a no then....

Otherwise it is probably far most cost effective to put DS2 in nursey for a few extra mornings instead, and pul my finger out and do more hoovering myself!

Also can I just double check, if I (as I almost certainly will) cook dinner for all of us to eat together (me, AP and kids), I would assume that she will load the dishwasher, as you would with family (certainly in our household, one adult coks, the other tidies up after and loads dishwasher). I am assuming that this wouldn't count in her hours as it is part of family life and living harmoniously together, I would expect it of older children/my husband. (Obviously if she was eating out/separately I wouldn't expect her to help clean up).

Sorry about the typos... DS 2 climbing all over me!

Are you on au pair world? Those are weird requests.

What are you saying in your ad if so? This is our third go with AP World. We are currently advertising for Septemeber and I have had nearly 100 replies in two weeks for rates and hours in line with what you mention. I wonder if the way you are describing the role makes it sound more complicated than it is.

Agree with LadyH - can you post what you're saying in the description?

And yes that's the way it works in our house, general family stuff isn't in the clock - if she comes out for the hike she helps carry the picnic!

I re-read your OP (in between procrastinating on report writing) and the way you've described the day sounds a bit free flowing. It's not clear to me whether there are specific times each day when the AP is officially on and off duty. While this is probably not your intention, it sounds like you could mean for her to be around all day, maybe only techincally working 25 hours but there just in case.

You do need to be clear about this in the ad or you're right the girls might assume it's more like a nearly full time mother's help job and in that case £150 would be what you are looking at. The agency I've used for au pairs before, which does not quote high pocket money, even recommended £160-180.

This is the only reason I can see why this might be happening.

SOunds like if you just tighten up the times per day you need the AP, state the pay as well to eliminate time wasters, be clear about duties you'll be fine.

I pay mine £100 plus travel card. She does a school run in the mornings (isn't required to help at breakfast/get children ready, but she does a bit if she's up in time) and then picks up from nursery at 1 and has children on her own 3/4 days a week until me or Dh are back from work 6.30 ish. so quite a few hours (is that around 30- 35 hours a week?). 1 or 2 days a week I'm working from home. She will be doing less in a couple of months when I'm on maternity leave as I'll be there all the time.

I would suggest £70-£75 a week would be standard for what you're asking for.

oh and I've always used Gumtree to find my au pairs.

Does it depend on where you live? We live in central London.
I pay £150 per week, inc Gym membership with a creche
2 kids are aged 3 & 7. She works weekdays 12-6.30. Any other hours are pre agreed, and is paid £5 per hr. She picks up youngest from Nursery at 12, makes his lunch. takes him to creche or activities class. Collects older one at 3.30, brings home for snack, then an actvity close by the house or tutor visits house.
She does the kids laundry and keeps their room tidy. We or the cleaner do everything else. We cook most meals, if required in advance for her to re heat. I'm a bit particular that they eat home cooked 'proper' food.
She supervises homework.
I have been very specific about times and make sure I pay extra for extra work. In turn she's happy to work any extra, we all know where we stand and there's no uncomfortable feelings about liberty taking on either side. I've heard awful stories of people abusing AP's in terms of employment.We do try and get her to do family stuff with us, but she's made her own friends and prefers to hang out with them....don't blame her!!

We live in Cambridgeshire, pay £80 per week, plus we pay for the language course, the car (including all insurance petrol etc.) food and phone. Out au pair works 25 hours per week, no babysitting during the week and gets 2 days off on the weekend. We give 4 weeks paid holiday and take them on holiday with us.
We pay £7 an hour for extra housework (ironing etc.)
It has worked for us and we never have a problem attracting new au pairs. T

We have heard some horror stories, our current au pair has a friend working in Gloucestershire who has to work more hours if she has a friend stay and pay for all her own food!

Thanks for your advice everyone... I guess I was being a little wishy washy about timings, because I am quite flexible, I don't mind if they say I need x, and y mornings off and z afternoon because of their course timings, as I can work around that. Because I will do all the pick up and drop offs at school, and I work from home there are no times that are absolutely non negotiable, you must be around then, IYSWIM... But thank you for expalining that my good intentions may actually look as if I need them all the time! Maybe I will have a sit down and work out a timetable, and say it is negotiable? I thought no early mornings helping get the children ready and taking them to school would be a bonus, (I certainly would have thought lying in til 9/10am everyday was, aged 19!) but maybe not....

This is a bit taken from the emails I am sending the girls:

"With regard to what I am looking for in our aupair, I need someone who is helpful, and friendly, and cheerful! I need someone trustworthy and reliable. I hope that we are a nice family to work with, we are flexible and friendly, and I want our aupair to be happy with us.

The sort of things I will need our aupair to do are:

*Playing with (DS2) whilst I work in the next room (on call if you need help). Basically keeping him happy so I can work on the computer without him distracting me. It would involve things like playing with his toys, reading, maybe easy baking, drawing, taking him to play in the woods opposite the house. This would be for an hour or so at a time, (We can sort out a schedule when you get here) Once you have been here a little while and you are settled, I may wish to pop out to walk the dogs without him for 30 min or so - he slows us down! I would very much like for you to talk to him in Spanish as the younger children are, the easier it is for them to pick up a new language. Also looking after (DS2) if I need to help (DS1) with his homework. There will very very little sole care, I will almost always be in the house too.

*Reading with (DS1). At the moment bed times are a little hectic as (DS2)takes a long time to get to sleep. So poor Aidan doesn't really get read to as much as I would like. It would be nice if a few times a week you could listen to him read before bed, or read to him. Equally, if you can read music that would be great. He has just started playing the trombone (he is not very good yet!), and likes to have someone sit with him for ten minutes when he practices.

*Help with keeping the house clean. This would be things like: hoovering the upstairs once a week. Helping me tidy up the boys bedrooms once a week. Helping load and unload the dishwasher as needed,keeping your room clean and tidy. Keeping the kitchen floor clean. Hoovering downstairs as needed. Helping clean up after dinner, etc. Just generally helping me to make sure that the house looks presentable and clean.

*Babysitting once per week.

These are the ideas I am thinking of at the moment. What I plan to do with our au pair when she knows her course time table is sit down and work out a plan for the week, so we both know exactly what is going on and can plan our time efficiently. I think the hours will work out to be 25 hours per week. The weekends will be off, depending on your schedule we might be able to arrange it so that Monday mornings are also off, so that if you want to have a weekend away visiting friends or other parts of the country, you do not need to rush home. Very occasionally we might ask you to babysit on a Saturday night, but we will try to give you plenty of notice.

There will be no regular sole charge of the children, no early mornings or having to take them to or from school, and we do not need you to do our laundry."

I'll try and work out a time table then and see if that is better received!

I have had one email today from an AP who is looking for what I would have thought was a normal amount, so I'll see how it goes during our chats, and maybe she will be a good match... I can be optimistic!

With regard to horror stories, I know one woman at toddler group who was gleefully telling me about her AP. She was saying that she had had her a for 2 months so far, and taken her on a 3 week skiing trip where she looked after both of her daughters (2 and 5) full time. She was thrilled that the cost of the AP for the year was the same as it would have cost her to hire a FT nanny from the skiing resort for the 3 weeks....

She seemed very pleased that her AP was working 10-12 hour days on £45...

I guess it depends on the person but the way I've always done it is that we set clear boundaries with things like the hours and the duties and we tell the APs that we will respect this the same way we do with the nanny's schedule etc.

You need to leave yourself a BIT of wiggle room in case you unexpectedly hire someone who is not at all flexible but if the arrangement isn't MORE CLEAR than UNCLEAR (that sounds like the sort of phrase that Rumsfeld would have used) the APs might decide not to risk it and take up a role where things are more solid.

Someone who will give a lot of flexibility is also likely to expect the same from you which may be unworkable.

In my opinion, it's safer to make sure you both know what to expect before she gets on a plane.

This is your first AP right? Once they get here it can be difficult to reset expectations if there's been a misunderstanding.

Wrt speaking their own language I would phrase it less in terms of what your child gets and more as them sharing their culture etc with your DSs. Then say you're sure DS will pick it up quickly and interact.

I'll look out the phrasing we used but we had positive feedback from most APs on that, with the clear understanding they were welcome to improve their English or French (or both) with DH and I.

I was an au pair years ago and would have been put off by that job description tbh. It sounds as if it's the odd hour or half hour scattered through the day and always under your watchful eye!

Personally I would make it all sound a lot simpler - eg you will be free every morning until x o'clock then will be expected to do 5 hours' work per day between x and y Monday to Friday to include looking after ds2, helping with housework etc etc. You will be free all weekend but we would expect one night's babysitting per week.

But I may be hopelessly out of touch :)

i agree with what others have said. using simpler language and straightforward description of their schedule and duties. i understand you are trying to be flexible to make ap happy but you kind of get muddled in the process. you can say something along the lines of ' as i am working from home we are flexible to change the schedule sometimes, if you want to plan something special.' you can always comunicate this to your ap once she is there and you know what kind of perosn she is. apparetnly some aps like to have strict schedule with tasks written down so they can tick them off. you can think out a schedule with her working from -to and and if nothing else comes to it, stick to it, if you need to and both side are happy, change it.
good luck.

I find that it always makes it easier if you put in the pay right at the start. You save all the bother of having all the 'negotiable salary' people applying (otherwise you'll find that the only ones who stand out are the ones looking for nanny-type salaries and you'll have wasted loads of time talking to them).

My profiles usually begin with something like "we are looking for an au-pair to work 25 hours a week doing a mix of playing with the children and helping out with household chores. We pay a rate of £x per week and offer use of a car"

Then I go into detail eg 5 days @5 hours per day max, plus babysitting, or whatever.

I pay up to £100 a week for 25-30 hours including 2 nights babysitting one of which is always a Saturday night. They have 2 days where it is mostly Childcare, drop offs to school and nursery and then free until nursery pick up and to then be in sole charge until I get home from work. On top of that I ask for 2 mornings a week of cleaning. Other jobs include ironing, children's laundry and keeping their rooms tidy, changing their sheets and the odd sole charge for an hour or two late afternoon whilst I take to activities, pick up from playmates. I also expect them to make sure that the playroom and kitchen are tidy at the end of the day.

We pay £75 per week plus day time use of the car for short journeys (eg gym/language classes). Like you we are happy to be flexible but in adverts initially we say 25 hours per week Mon-Fri plus 6 nights babysitting per month (again we rarely use one night a month but want to be covered in case we get two parents' evenings in one week). Holidays are generous(and paid) as I am teacher.
When someone contacts us we then explain in more detail ie drive the children to school each morning, collect in the afternoon and supervise them until a parent gets home(at no later than 7pm) /maybe cook children's supper once a week plus vacuum once a week at a time that suits them (am happy for them to do it whilst supervising children).
At the interview stage we talk through exact daily routine and mention that we have found in the past that flexibility on both sides works well, so if they really want to miss the school run one day to meet a friend/ or finish early we can accommodate that and likewise would hope they could help out by taking a child to an evening activity occassionally if neccesary. So far it has worked - helped I think by the fact that we rarely need the full 25 hours a week.
It is very important that the au pair know when she is on and off duty. Basically for us once a parent is home, our ap is off duty.
We have had 2 German, 2 Italian and a French AP who have all be happy with this and with the pay. Until this year we tended to pay £65-£70 per week but have increased it this year. However, when I advertised on Gumtree I did have responses from people who said it was impossible to live in London on less than £150 per week and that they awaited my revised offer! I think that as au pair/nanny/mother's help are not precise job descriptions some applicants are not sure what the individual jobs entail and soset out their own min requirements.
HTH