Do you think it's reasonable to ask new nanny to stick to a mileage allowance?

[MogTheForgetfulCat]

I've recently employed a new nanny, after a bit of a disaster with the previous one. She is brilliant, and really lovely, and in some ways I don't want to rock the boat...

...BUT - she lives in an area that is about 20 miles or so away from where we live, and is going back over there with the children every day (which is currently only 2 days a week, will go up to 3 over the Spring/Summer) after doing the school run with my eldest.

I have no problem at all with her doing this other than the mileage that she is going to rack up by doing 30-40+ miles every day that I hadn't really envisaged. We pay petrol at 40p per mile, so this could add up to quite a lot if she does it every day.

I know it might sound petty, but paying for her basic salary plus tax/NI etc is a big financial commitment for us - we also leave a kitty for activities, snacks etc., and large amounts of petrol money on top of that aren't going to be easy to find!

She's always nannied in her local area before, and has nanny friends there, which is why she is going back there - I don't want to stop her doing that, and the children have a lovely time with her, she sometimes takes them to her house and they feed the chickens etc. But WIBU to tell her she has a daily or weekly mileage allowance, and that anything over that is at her own cost? We don't have a contract yet (she will be signing it this week) so I could put something like that it.

Just wondered what you all think!

I don't think it's unreasonable - explain to her as you've explained to us here.

I think it's a little unsustainable really anyway. She has presumably not got to grips with your area yet, or made friends, but she will in time and then she'll be less inclined to drive for 20 miles to go somewhere else. Maybe for now you could ask her to limit her trips back home to once/week, and she'll start getting to know your area more on the other day she works for you.

It's not unreasonable at all to ask her either to do this at her own expense or only do it once a week or whatever you are happy with. You are paying approx double the petrol cost as you are paying for the other associated costs of running a car, which is fair enough if it's mileage you require, but when it's for her benefit then it's not on. (I'm sure the kids have a good time, but they'd have a good time locally if she put the effort into finding people/places).

Well, she never will get to know the local area if she keeps going back to her home town. I would put my foot down nicely, your children don't need to be regularly travelling 20 miles to play, you can't afford to pay for it and she needs to start investigating options in your locality. Perhaps you could give her some flyers of activities local to you or introduce her to some friends, NCT mums, whatever, with whom she might be able to socialise?

I used to do this with a former job...I had to work in a different area to where all my nanny friends were and I ran a toddler group in the area, but I never charged my family mileage fr those journeys ( which were about 35 minutes each way).

I think you are totally within your right to enforce a mileage limit...however if you feel your nanny is really brilliant and lovely, have you considered a nanny car? You could fill tank up with say £30 per week and any extra petrol your nanny needs must be paid for by her.

The nanny is only part-time and as the OP said large amounts of petrol money are going to blow the budget, I don't think a nanny car with insurance, AA, tax and all other costs is going to be attractive.

Thanks, all - I will have a word with her. I have already told her about some groups etc. locally. She is extremely nice, so I don't anticipate this being a problem at all, just wanted to check IANBU.

Absolutely no problem to say to them about trying to limit the mileage - you are the boss, what you say goes.

As a nanny, I still go back to places nearer to where I used to nanny and also places a lot further away. The mileage I do is often around 300 miles a month, which some nanny employers may consider high, whilst others may consider is reasonable, or even low. Personally I think it's quite high and would be higher if I claimed full mileage for every trip made... for long trips I don't claim full mileage, I claim enough to cover the fuel. If I didn't do that then the trip couldn't happen as it's just too expensive to be travelling 60-100 miles to a Castle / Fort / Roman Remains / Aircraft Museum / Steam Railway.

What you consider to be reasonable will depend on what is available in your local area and what you want your nanny to be doing. You may like taking your children castles, forts, museums and do that as a family at weekends... oh you may hate the idea and be really keen for nanny to be doing that. We don't all live in a city where things are on our doorstep... the school run alone for some families may well be 5 miles or so, and that could happen 2 or more (if say there is a nursery run to the same location) times a day.

Local groups can be great but you children need to be happy there... if it's not working, then there is no point in going in my view... worth trying somewhere else. It's all about balance... you need to find what works for you, your children and your nanny.

HMRC Travel Allowance now is 45p per mile for first 10,000 miles a year. You can pay less than that, though even at 45p per mile it may not cover all the costs involved (fuel, insurance, road tax, maintenance)... so between you and your nanny you need to agree upon a rate that works for you both and limit mileage claims if necessary.

Have you looked at the detailed mileage log... can you see patterns in the journeys being made? Can you work out which things could still be done and which things need more consideration for the cost involved. At the moment I am trying to have 1 day a week where I do no work mileage at all, or very little (last Thursday I did 1.9 miles). So having a day a week, or maybe a couple of days of low/no mileage may help with having longer trips still possible within budget.

she sometimes takes them to her house and they feed the chickens
Nice as that may be, keep in mind that if the children go inside your nannies house for more than 2 hours, on a regular basis (I'd say up to 14 occasions a year may be ok) then it may breach childcare legislation. Probably not an issue at the moment but something which you and your nanny should be aware of, just in case your nanny decides to use their own home on a more regular basis.

Def tell her that its too far and not covered, or it cld cost you a fortune.

Fyi, my understanding is the 45p per mile is the maximum allowed for tax purposes.. Its not a recommended amount that we should pay nannies.. Imo that figure makes trips far far too expensive.

nannynick you seem very reasonable, wish my own nanny had been like that!

Wow I would really be not very happy if my nanny was doing a 40 mile round trip with DCs so she can see her nanny friends. And for a 2 day job as well! Apart from the cost, I don't want DCs to be sitting in a car any longer than they have to (because really, it's not very interesting for them), be exposed to increased risk of being in a car accident, to see people that are not local and therefore they will probably not know for long. I always make it clear to nannies that occasional long travels are fine for specific purposes (museums, castles) but not for the sake of the nanny's social life.

I read the OP and my first thought was that this is all taking place from a 'nanny centred' rather than a 'child centred' viewpoint. She wants to see her nanny friends, go to the familiar toddler group etc.

Limit it to once a week. Your children need to get to know people and places where they live, as presumably that is where they will be going to school, making friends etc.

I agree you should set a mileage limit. We have a FT nanny and pay her 45p per mile. This usually works out at £100 - £120 per month i.e. about 220 to 260 miles. If she is doing 30-40 miles a day that will cost you a fortune (on top of everything else).
When we chose our nanny, one of the many things that we liked about her was the fact that she was local. As we were new to the area, we were keen that she should know it and take the DCs about locally.

As only 2 days she should be able to find stuff near you for your children and not go back to her old nanny friends every day

A compromise is that she goes over once every 2 weeks - her friends can travel over to you

Nick is prob the only nanny I know who is happy to accept lower milage - personally I won't accept a job without a car during working hours as I would hate to use my car

Get your nanny to look at netmums for local groups in your area

45p is the recommended amount for people using their cars - obv it soon adds up

10miles 4.50 / 20miles almost £10

Nick is prob the only nanny I know who is happy to accept lower milage
I like to be different. I also don't want my boss to say we can't go out to places which may take an hour to get to.

I don't want DCs to be sitting in a car any longer than they have to (because really, it's not very interesting for them)
Surprising sometimes what you can see out of a car window... boats, mobile homes, cranes, a tube train, to name just a few of the things we saw at half term whilst travelling around parts of the M25.
In car entertainment can make a difference... we have songs and stories, the children will often select their favourites.

Though I do agree it can be dull but if the children don't moan about it or say "are we there yet" then does that mean they are happy to travel the distance to get to go on the trip out to somewhere new/an established favourite location?

MogTheForgetfulCat Have you had the chat yet... how did it go?

I sometimes let my mb of for the mileage too. I a soft and feel sorry for them paying so much for childcare. My last job did not pay me anything. I think sat in a car is boring for children, mind you my cd player does not work for nursery rhymes only my songs.shame that.

I'm going to speak bluntly - I may be totally missing the mark, but here is an alternative point of view.

If you wanted your children to be brought up 20 miles away, you could have lived there instead. It's not about the mileage, it's the fact that you are paying her to look after your children involving them in activites that are worthwhile to them. A two hour round trip to a castle, historic railway etc. is fine, a one hour round trip so the nanny can do her housework, look after her livestock and visit her friends is not.

Nick - I was at home today, so not spoken to her, will have a chat tomorrow. Am sure it will be fine. She doesn't do this every day, just more often than I'd like (bearing in mind we are only a few weeks in!)

It is more the mileage that bothers me than anything else. I don't particularly mind the children being out of the local area - middle child has plenty of friends at nursery, and locally, whom we see on my days off, and is off to school in September. Littlest one is only 13mo, so not too much of an issue for him yet, and we do local groups etc. on my days off. Although I can see that them being in the car so much is not ideal. And there is masses to do locally - swimming, soft play, lovely parks, toddler groups etc.

The children loved the chickens, though. And the eggs they collected were very nice . It's a shame she is not more local - but DH and I were interviewing lots of nice nannies and just waiting for that 'click' that makes you realise it's the right person, and had it with her, she is v lovely. But am still going to tell her to stay round here more .

Thanks again.

To clarify, in case you think I am completely insane paying for 2 lots of childcare and then bitching about mileage...middle child does 12 hours of nursery a week, term times, all of which is paid for by the government. For now .

She can bring you eggs quite often I expect if the hens are over producing. Nice for the children to visit on occasion. The children I care for on occasion visit my mums garden, to pick her strawberries and any other fruit/veg she has available. Why visit a PYO Farm and pay, when mums garden is only 5 miles further and Free - if getting enough free fruit/veg it's worth the extra mileage cost. Pity my mum is thinking of moving to Scotland (I'm in Surrey, so Scotland will be far too far to go for mums Fruit & Veg).

She's the right nanny for you, so I'm sure she will understand that cost implications of trips out needs to be considered.

Nick - afraid you're not going to convince me that watching an occasional crane/boat wizz past the car window is ever as good as playing with mud in the local park. And, as a driver, I am usually too busy driving to have much interaction with the passengers. But that's just my opinion and besides the point...

OP - hope the talk goes well. TBH I think it's something she should realise without being told - makes me wonder if she's one of those nannies who thinks that you own a bottomless pit of gold and hates being informed otherwise.

I don't know Novstar for my DCharge3 (age 4) the car/bus/train journey is almost always the best part of any trip out! He is slightly obsessed with vehicles though......

Holy: I would distinguish between a 40 mile car trip and a local-ish bus/train trip. For one thing, I can pay much much more attention to DCs on a bus/train because I'm not driving. I would happily take my DCs on an extended train trip, for the sake of being in a train. Less so for buses but in my view it's still lots better than a car.

Just talked to her, all fine . I remembered, on being reminded by her, that she had told us that she would not be charging mileage for trips that were not essential or that we had not asked her to make - so if she is doing school run, taking library books back, going into town to pick up some things because I asked her to, she will charge for that, but not for these other trips. Many local groups etc. can be walked to, so no mileage involved, although would of course pay mileage for other local things that aren't in walking distance. So that is the mileage/cost issue sorted.

I took the chance to say that it wasn't ideal for the children to be doing so much time in the car (although she was at home when I rang today - my home, I mean - and hasn't taken them out in the car today, just to disprove my point!) and she seemed to take the point and said that she will keep those trips more occasional (maybe once every few weeks). I've agreed to give her more details of local stuff that I know and like so that she can try those, as well - I have told her about stuff, but think I need to write down days/times/locations etc.

So all sorted - thanks again, everyone!

Glad all is sorted

Talking works wonders :)