Nannies mum has died

[knackeredmother]

very sadly our nannies mum has passed away. Her mum lives abroad and it was expected.
I gave her time off to see her at Xmas (she went for a week fully paid obviously, not annual leave). She has taken off 2 weeks now she has died.
I have taken annual leave and my husband unpaid time off to cover this time. Our nanny has already said she will want to take 2 weeks holiday in August which will be the last of her choice of leave ( she has had a week already, we pick 3 weeks each).
My problem is I won't have enough annual leave left to cover her August holiday as I have used it to cover this current time off. However, I feel like a heartless cow asking her to take some of this time she's had after her mum has died as annual leave.
Has anyone had experience of this? Should I just suck it up and try and find the cash for a temporary nanny to enable her to take her august holiday?
Btw I have already given her a week compassionate paid leave when her MIL died lady year but she has not taken any sick leave at all. I am aware I sound heartless, I'm not but just need to deal with the practicalities of not really being able to afford extra time off.
Any advice appreciated!

I think it would be very difficult indeed to alter the premise for granted time off retrospectively. If she took the time off for her mum under the understanding that it was gratis compassionate and then you were to go back to her to move the goal posts as you have now realised it's going to be difficult for you for work/financial/logistical reasons she would be within rights to be deeply annoyed/hurt and possibly alter her perception of you, even bear a grudge.

You have done been fair and just and compassionate in how you have dealt with her for both her bereavements, but the knock on effect is one you, (dare I say it) probably needed to foresee before the agreement was struck. It sounds like you have a fantastic working relationship as she does not abuse her position (no sick leave etc) and you respect her human needs. I think this is important and I think on principle you cannot go back on your word.

I think you need to think of another way around it (your temporary nanny idea etc). What about a summer camp holiday for your children for that week? They may love that too!

If things are really impossible for you, the most you could do with your nanny is explain your dilemma and see if she offers to help , but I don't think that is a good idea either, as she may just feel over a barrel and like you are calling in the favour anyway, which is probably no better than rescinding her leave carte blanche.

Just my opinion of course. :)

Thanks Snow, she hasn't actually requested the leave yet but I know she always has 2 weeks off in August. We also haven't discussed the current tome off, she rang dh to say her mum had died and was flying out and then text to say she would be back next week.
I have obviously sent messages to ask how she is.
It feels wrong to ask her to take this time off as leave though so I think I will need to suck it up.

I would wait until she gets back and see what she says - she may offer to reduce her August holiday anyway. If not, I think, as Snowbeetle says, you can't really go back on what was previously agreed even if the situation has changed.

Ahhh, I see. So the basis for the leave hasn't been spelt out yet. Well, I suppose that is a bit different.
But yes, I think if it just feels wrong then go with your instinct. What would you wish for in her position? It isn't just a distant aunt is it, we all only get one Mum! She may feel undying loyalty to you for an eternity and you may find it pays back in many small ways (not that that is why you would do it of course).
I suppose you will feel much better about yourself, and it is only money checks self for high temperature

I think holidays are holidays and death of a loved one is not a holiday nor does it feel like time off
The class teacher at school dad died over christmas it was expected but teacher is still off work, so think yourself lucky its only 2 wks she is taking

Also childminders dad died last june and she only came back to work in the september

Mop I of course realize that. Both my dh and I have lost our mums, suddenly in my case and expected in my husbands. I am completely sympathetic however it doesn't change the fact I can't afford to give both paid compassionate leave and holiday.
I work in the NHS and get 3 days paid leave when a loved one dies and I took a week annual leave when my mum died. I doubt very much the people you are referring to are on full pay.
I would love to be in a financial position to offer unlimited fully paid leave as I know it is hard to lose your mum.

You are in a difficult spot. I think that 1 week compassionate leave on her MIL's death was very generous, as was a week for her mother's sickness; I don't think I would have been as generous and would have said she could have these as holiday, or unpaid leave. Her mother's death is a different matter, and I think I would give a week's compassionate leave for that, and allow her to take any extra time as holiday or unpaid leave - however as you have already given her this in 'less deserving' circumstances it does seem uncaring to give her the same for her own mother's death.

Can you ease the situation in the summer holidays by taking your holidays at the same time?

Poor you knackeredmother and your poor nanny but if you cannot afford to pay you can't , just explain honestly and see what she says.

I will find a way I think. Just because my employer wouldn't do it doesn't mean I should.

That last post makes no sense does it?!
I meant to say just because I only got 3 days compassionate leave doesn't mean I should implement the same policy. Even though we can't afford it, it doesn't seem right. I'm not sure what she is expecting tbh. Other than the text to say when she was coming back, which was in response to me enquiring after her, she hasn't been in touch. Which I understand obviously.

knackered - she may not even be thinking of being paid right now. You need to speak to her directly about it rather than making assumptions. Obviously tread lightly as this will be an upsetting time for her, but if it was expected then she won't be in as shocked of a state as she might have otherwise.

I'm usually really strict with paid time off - I don't pay above SSP etc, but I think in the case of a parent dying I'd just let her have the holiday in August and pay for a temp nanny.
My dad died last year and I really appreciated the extra time away. The time I spent with my mum immedieately after his death was awful, not holiday at all.