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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How long is settling in...when do you give up?

13 replies

katymac · 24/01/2006 11:34

I have had a baby since the beginning of December (he was 7 months) - he had also been settling in for 2 months previous to that

He is not settling & crys constantly

I have told his mum this and she says "well I have to go to work"

I am seriously considering ending his contract (with 4 weeks notice) as I am finding him hard work and his crying is upsetting the other children

How much longer would you give it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Icemum · 24/01/2006 11:52

So you've had him for 4 months then? If so I would be tempted to say to parents that you will give it another month with the view that if he hasn't seettled you would have to give notice. I feel that if he was going to settle with you he would be showing signs by now.

OTOH I had a parent remove their child from my care as he wasn't settling after 3 days!!

Good luck this afternoon with DD school.

Blu · 24/01/2006 11:54

Is something else making him cry, I wonder?

Original poster

katymac · 24/01/2006 11:57

He is breast fed and we are giving him bottles - he's hardly weaned

I think he is used to snacking all the time

Thanks - I'm really nervous

OP posts:

Isyhan · 24/01/2006 11:59

Yes- I wondered if its something more physical thats making him cry after all 8 months isnt very old to be thinking I dont like this house I want my mum! He hasnt got something like a milk or food allergy has he? A relative of mine their baby cried constantly and after thinking it was many other things, emotional things he was finally diagnosed with an allergy to gluten.

Blu · 24/01/2006 12:09

Oh poor little mite. It sounds as if his Mum didn't manage to get him ready feed-wise to be left on bottles. Is it worth having a chat with his mum about the transition of feeding, and her moving to an approach that can be replicated by you?
DS wouldn't drink form a bottle when he went to nursery as a baby - but he would eat baby rice with ebm, so he lasted on that during the day. it was a complete nightmare, and i would certainly have approached the breast to bottle transition differently if I'd known. But he didn't cry all day.

ThePrisoner · 24/01/2006 18:25

How often do you have him?

Original poster

katymac · 24/01/2006 21:04

3 days a week - 8 til 3

OP posts:

ThePrisoner · 25/01/2006 00:47

I know some children can take a while to settle down, but this one does seem to be having rather a hard time of it. I personally wouldn't give him notice, but that's only because I don't like admitting defeat! It's obviously a problem though, because he is having a negative effect on the other children.

If I've had a baby who's unsettled, I always end up going for a walk. I talk all the time so that he can get used to my voice (poor thing), and also bend down from time to time so he can see me (even more poor thing!) They tend to stop crying if they're in a buggy anyway, and I like to think that he can then associate having a nice walk with hearing and seeing me!!

I have had a few babies take a little while to settle in, but 4 months is pushing the boundaries somewhat. I know that you have several staff - do you have just one person who is "in charge" of him, rather than several trying to help?

I've had babies who are still breastfeeding and have come to me without being totally OK with a bottle, but it has never taken that long to sort it out. I think the mum really ought to consider a quick check with doc or HV just to be sure that there isn't a medical reason for his unhappiness.

Just another thought - are his bottles all formula? Or breastmilk? Could he be having a problem with the formula milk?

babydales · 25/01/2006 08:20

I agree with TP. I too would not give in , as such. I too had a child that would not settle and didnt really until he was up and about. He just hated being a baby. Four years on he is still here and out of the 76 or so children I have looked after over the last 10 years he was the only one that I would have even considered giving up, but so glad I didnt.

jellyjelly · 25/01/2006 10:13

Hi katymac.

My thoughts are with you as i had a child for a few months that would not stop crying, it turned out that he was sleeping in a car seat not a cot so he wouldnt sleep or stop crying unless i was holding him. I was very pleased for lots of reasons to give notice.

Is it worth getting familar toys that the mum knows that he likes?

lazycow · 25/01/2006 15:02

does he cry a lot at home.

My ds spent a lot of time crying from about 3 months to about 9 months. It was exhausting but he is a lot better now (14 months) is a lot more mobile. I also think he just hated being a baby.

Original poster

katymac · 25/01/2006 21:20

Yes he crys at home - and spends most of his time on his mums hip

No wonder he crys at mine

We had a discussion and we are going to "resettle" him in - it might change our "attitude" towards him just a bit & maybe give him time to settle down

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 25/01/2006 21:37

poor you - one of my children was a very unsettled baby (turned out to be food allergies). I would think if he cries a lot at home then you probably haven't got much chance! Some of them do go through phases and as you pointed out, it could be the transition between snacking and having proper meals. Perhaps you and his mum will need to come to some sort of agreement as to his feeding routine.

I also think a lot of babies get frustrated at around 7 months because they can't move around. Both my kids were much happier once they could get up and cruise and investigate the surroundings! Good luck.

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