CMs, how would you feel about me laying my cards on the table like this?

[ohbugrit]

I apologise in advance that this is long and complex. We use a local CM for our two DC, one of whom will start school this summer. We're generally happy with her, and she's been brilliantly flexible and accommodating.

Until now, I have worked two set days and then some extra hours which I worked around DH's shifts to save on childcare costs. We therefore booked the two days with the CM, and sometimes DH is sitting at home on a day off while the DC are at the CM's - in the last fortnight we spent £170 on unnecessary childcare. We have just accepted this until now - we assumed she'd expect set places to be booked so that's what we did.

My work have now asked me to set my extra hours rather than use them flexibly and because (due to DH's shifts) we'd only need extra childcare for two out of every five weeks the CM thankfully agreed to take the DC for these two without us paying for the space every week.

My problem is that now this is in practice it's just not working. Our budget can't accommodate the extra costs and I'm actually struggling to have enough money for groceries this month (and I am pretty frugal as it is), next month's not looking any better. Obviously in the summer everything will ease as my son goes to school but until then we are going to get in a huge mess.

Would it be massively unreasonable to simply explain to the CM that we can't go on as we are and ask if she would consider taking the DC on an as required basis? I can give her months of advance warning about which days we'd use. Or is this just a ridiculous request which will insult her/put her in an awkward position, and I really need to review my work situation?

I am so down about this and can't think straight for panicking about money - any suggestions? :(

In my experience it depends on whether the CM is minding to earn a salary or a SAHM who wants to top up the family income and yes I know CM is a profession before I get flamed, but I also know that some as happy to work much fewer hours than others, and I also know one who only minds up until 3pm so after school is her family time and her husband is home from work at 4

if they are trying to fill as many hours as possible she will probably insist on fixed days so she can work other children around your days

but what it never hurts to do is ask

That's a good idea, thank you. So you basically paid them a regular average amount, so their income was fixed, but they kept the spaces free for you all week so you used which you needed (obviously as planned in the schedule)?

I've been thinking that maybe if she said no I could ask if she'd be ok with DH keeping the DC home when he's off, but us paying her the half-fee retainer on these days. So she's free to take extra DC on those days but we save a bit of money.

In fact that might even be a more reasonable option, from where we are now.

You're right, I should never have assumed she'd want set days, we might have avoided all this.

workshy, she's a slightly unusual situation in that her children are grown up and she's minding children after being made redundant from a carer's position. So she's probably earning a better income than she was which is fair enough obviously. But her daughter is also a CM and so she has a huge degree of flexibility - no DC of her own to feed/put to bed etc, and her daughter sometimes minds from her house so gives a bit of flexibility about numbers. So that's why I'm thinking she might not completely baulk at me asking for scheduled but variable minding.

yes I have heard of booking say xx hrs per month and using them in an ad hoc manner

the half fee retainer idea could work too

good luck x

Yes just ask, she can only Say yes or no, it's a business to suit her needs and as workshy says all cms are different.

Hope all works out for u, bad times. X

Of course you should ask - it's the only way to find out :)

She might choose not to have many children, so it might not matter which days yours are there, if it does I'm sure she'll soon tell you and you can try to work out another option that works for both of you - but ask about paying when you need her first.

Some CMs can accommodate adhoc bookings, others can't. Just ask.

:) We always pay within a few days of the invoice even though she tells me we've got a month, and apparently my children are a pleasure to look after, maybe I'll be in luck [grin ]

We are all different. Just ask :)

I take Ad-Hoc after school children,
I have 4 regular after schoolers, no little ones as I now work in our local Pre-School.

Flexability is what me and my DH specialise in. We have one child who we get her timetable weekly. Another 2 children are afterschool but mum doesn't know when her rota's are in.

Basically for these children we give them a sliding rule. Which basically means we keep a full time space open to them. Even if they are not using all those times we only charge for the hours they use.

This works for us as we are happy not to have all our spaces full. We are more concerned in offering a service that our parents are happy with and they don't have to pay more than they need to.

Thanks for everyone's help and advice. She happily agreed to us just paying half rate for the days DH is off and I've nicked alorsmum's rolling rota idea a bit - I made a chart for our CM's reference and used it to budget a weekly average cost.

Can I please ask what most parents do when they have DC in school - do they have to pay half fees all year just to ensure their DC have childcare in the holidays?