2 year old refusing to say please or thank you

[WhoAteAllTheJellyTots]

One of my mindees is 2 and her speech is really good for her age - she strings sentances together, is able to understand and answer questions that I ask her and is able to follow instructions, so I know that her level of understanding is good.
She absolutely refuses to say please or thank you though, which is driving me mad! If she wants a toy and won't say thank you, I have started not letting her have the toy, as I know she is more than capable and I always give her the option...'say thank you to (other child) for giving you the toy' 'if you don't say thank you, you won't be able to have the toy' I give her a few chances usually but she just stands there with a really determined and stubborn expression on her face as if to say....NO! I REFUSE TO SAY THANK YOU
So then I don't let her have the toy which leads to tears, but as I've given her several chances I think she has to live with the consequences of not having the nice toy to play with.
She is like this at meal times too. All the other children say thank you when I put down a sandwich in front of them, or when I give them a snack or a drink, but she refuses to do so. I obviously can't not give her the food, or else she'd end up going all day with nothing to eat.
Any advice????

Stickers is giving it too much attention. Just mirror it yourself and it will come.

Is English the child's first language? I ask because many non-European languages don't have specific words for 'thank you', 'please' or 'sorry' - you simply convey your thanks and appreciation in other ways. My DD is 2 and is really struggling to understand when to use such words, simply because her other language has no straightforward equivalent.

no not all children all the time,- and definitely not my kids!!! but if we don't set limits that is what they become, jesus calm down! Not a childminder however i think children really need to learn manners early on- child minders are usually the "primary caregiver" for working parents. Sure its not their job to teach our kids manners however i would expect my childminder to reinforce good manners good behaviours etc. its just like using a "naughty step" or time out for behaviour modification.

What can I say.

Every child does things differently.

WHat happens at the child's home? does mum and dad reinforce this.

I childmind a 2 yr old who does not say thank you very often. I have heard it now and then. I say it when she does not. I think with time it will be said. It may take some time. It is especially challenging when your our own children at that age said it without much effort. Dont give up. I know it takes lot of patience

I once looked after a child who did not put her hand at her mouth when coughing. I had to teach her. IN converstion with her mum I realised that she was not taught that at home. Its amazing.

I am hot of please and thankyou and polite talking. I do it (be an example and teach the children to do it). They say good morning etc.

Eventually the little one will know we say please and thankyou at the childminders house.

This 2 year old shouldn't be put in a situation where a toy is withheld because she doesn't say thank you or anything. A 2 year old however good their speech might come across is still a 2 year old. Behaviour like yours is completely counterproductive. I wonder how the parents would feel if they knew??