Tips for changing nannies to make it easier on DD and new nanny

[Kenobi]

Hi all,

DD's beloved nanny is off to pastures new, finishing next week. We were quite gutted to lose her but fingers crossed have someone nice starting the next week after.

DD adored her, doesn't particularly deal well with change and I think will miss her very much. Just to add to the whole upheaval, I am about to have a baby...

What is the best way to approach it all? Her language skills are quite good, but she is only 2.2 so lots of concepts are beyond her.

DD was 12 months when nanny1 arrived and I think I didn't do a very good job of handing over - just sort of played with them both for an hour then had to go to work. I'd like to make it easier all round this time.

Is there anyway you could get the new nanny to start next week or old nanny to stay an extra week so there is some handover? I think it will smooth the transition if DD can play with nanny1 and nanny2 together a few times, and then let nanny1 drift off and nanny2 move in.

Don't worry keno i it's really surprising how adaptable children are I am sure she will soon settle with a new nanny.

Honestly children are amazingly adaptable, they just live in the moment your DD, esp at that age (sadly) probably wont eve remember the first nanny unless she keeps in touch.
Good luck with the hand over but I think you will have more trouble adjusting than your DD

From a nannies point of view, the best handovers I have had are when mum spends half a day showing you the basics i.e. how the oven, washer, alarm etc work, where the local shops, doctors, play groups are and then leaves you to it.

In my experience children get used to new nannies far more easily when it's one to one. I completely understand why parents want to do long handovers, after all they are handing their most precious possession over to someone they don't really know, but I feel having mum around confuses things for the child and just prolongs the settling in process, which doesn't really start until mum's back at work and "normal service resumes".

My present job had a three week handover with both mum and grandma around. The two older kids (school age) didn't want anything to do with me - they wanted mum and grandmas full attention. The relationship with them only really developed when they had no choice but to play with me. The two year old was very unhappy and unsettled (but that was to do with a lot of other things happening in his life at that time) and that took a lot of patience and cuddles. Fast forward six months and he is all over me when I walk through the door in the morning - they do adapt very quickly!

Thanks everyone for your input. hoho sadly not - the old nanny starts her new job the same day as the new nanny comes back from holiday.

redglow Not thanks you for the reassurance.

NannyR - so, after an initial introductory period, just trust the nanny to get on with it? DD is at a horribly clingy stage, as much with DH as with me.

Kenobi, I just want to second what NannyR said.
We never did a handover between nannies (well nanny and au pair in our case). Our DD adored her nanny and we and the nanny spent quite a while explaining to our DD why the nanny has to leave when the time came (she went back to NZ) and even though DD was very young she understood, was talking to the nanny about it and when the nanny left it was fine, as DD was well prepared for it. Then DD spent some time with me before our au pair started. I felt that ding it that way DD didnt' see the au pair as a replacement for the nanny but as a new friend who will now spend time with her. Does that make sense?
I know it's not easy to get time to spend between the nannies (especially if both parents work full time) but if you can do that I would strongly recommend it, even if it is just a week or couple of days. Then I would do half a day or a day with you and your new nanny and then leave them to it. I hope this helps.

Thanks andagain. Nanny1 leaves on Fri, nanny2 starts on Mon, so she will get 2 days with us. Hope this will be enough.