Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

Problem with childminder?

5 replies

DoodleDaddy · 19/01/2012 12:18

Hi, can you please help? I'm not sure if there is a problem, but a little good advice could really help me here...

My daughter is with the same childminder for nearly a year now (she's 21 mo old). She has always been very happy there, happy to be left there, happy when being picked up, the childminder seems to be a really nice one, very creative, very caring, with family all ok.

Recently my daughter started waking at night, nearly every night, sometimes crying, sometimes just wakes and it's quite difficult to put her back to sleep.

When we drop her off at the childminder she starts clinging to our neck (never did it before, generally a very independent little girl), used to go to cm with a big smile. Not now.

She is not crying when we drop her off, just looks unhappy and clingy. I give her a big hug and kiss and she looks very quiet and serious, then the cm calls her and she goes with her, looking back with a worryingly serious,(unhappy?) face. When we pick her up she's generally ok, again a bit passive, quiet, not like before when she used to be full of smiles.

What worries me is the night wakings and the clingyness coupled by the fact that she isn't a crying type, unless there is a direct problem or threat, therefore I'm not sure she would cry when we drop her off even if she isn't happy there. Or would she?

I know night wakings can happen at this age, but she has been sleeping through the night like an angel for the past year and now it is totally out of the blue - not to mention the dark circles under her eyes and her face when we drop her off/pick her up.

Am I overreacting? Anyone with similar issues? Anything we could do to find out what's wrong? Any good advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

boredandrestless · 19/01/2012 12:23

Has cm had any changes to her setting that you can think of? Changes to layout, going to a new group, a new mindee, etc? It may be something simple such as a new mindee taking more of the cms attention, or clashing with your DD. It may be that your DD has hit a new stage of development and is anxious now she is more aware of things.

Have you spoken to the cm yet about it?

LingDiLong · 19/01/2012 12:26

I think it more likely that the sleep is affecting her time with the childminder than her time with the childminder is affecting her sleep to be honest. She's tired when you drop her off so no wonder she's looking upset and being clingy.

She's also getting older and more aware of what's going on, that mummy and daddy will be gone for some time. Unless there's something significant you've missed from your post I can't see any reason for you to be worried about or suspicious of the childminder.

Perhaps post in the sleep topic to see if you could get some help with that? My eldest DD was a dream sleeper until about the age your DD is and it all went to pot for a few months. Only really sorted itself out when she dropped the nap just after she turned 2.

pippin26 · 19/01/2012 13:39

I would say sit down and have a chat with the childminder and see what her take on it is. Does the minder say there are any significant changes in routine, behaviour etc.
I would totally agree with LingDiLong as well.

This sort of behaviour from a child can also become a habit with them. They pick up on your reaction or anxieties - even if you think you are hiding them well, and think this is how you want them to behave or know this will get them a reaction. I know it sounds harsh... been there done that as a parent.
Experience it lots with other children as a childminder... I have one child who has been coming to me 18 months... every morning without fail he turns on the 'moan' - crying with no real tears or sobs, clinging to mums leg (funny he never does it with anyone else - nan, dad etc) and then most times he will sling himself on the floor.

Talk to you minder

thebody · 19/01/2012 14:05

cm here and total agreement with pippin26

littlewillows · 19/01/2012 17:51

Children can go through a very clingy stage in their life. From 14 months - two and half. I have seen this happen many times in a creche situation, even though they have been attending for over six months. It's usually has a trigger, which can be a small thing that just needs explanation and ressurrance from all or more stimulation needed throughout the day, possibly more art, puzzles or a physical activity they enjoy. As pippin26 said discuss with cm and look for any changes in home life. ( re-dec, something new, rows). Once trigger found, a happy child again.

Flip