Childminders Club - I've had enough (Sorry I need a rant)

[Jensmum]

I spend ages planning activities for my mindee's and they don't want to do them, I take them to toddler groups and they hit the other children, they fight with each other and have hit my dd a few times , the eldest refuses to walk anywhere but when he's in the double buggy he just hit's the younger one, they ask for food then throw it on the floor, they jump on my furniture and try to climb up the bookcase.

They are siblings and I only have them part time but because of the shift patterns I can't take on any other mindees so at the end of the week my take home pay (when not going anywhere or buying anything) is less than £70

Sorry about the rant but just needed to get it off my chest

childmindings certainly not easy is it? and all that for the money we get................

Rant away Jensmum makes me realilse how lucky I am with my mindees! although I do know myself that when taking on children who are rather boisterous or challenging can be really exhausting and frustrating at times. It is disappointing when you take time to plan lovely activities for them, take them out only for them to not want to do them. Do you have a behaviour policy and discuss the hitting with mum? What do you do when they throw their food on the floor or climb your bookcase? Poor you, I do sympathise.

The problem with minding children with such "boisterous behaviour" is that you are acutely aware of everyone looking at you and judging your ability. I've certainly been where you are now (had 2 brothers full-time, but 4 years age difference), and often considered giving notice because I really struggled with their behaviour. I would walk into toddler group, and you could see the drooping shoulders of other mums and almost hear the "sigh". There were days when I would end up in tears, and I truly had a hard time.

I got on well with the parents, never had any gripes with payment or time-keeping, and although I toyed with the idea of giving notice, I just didn't want to admit defeat. I still have these children (after school and sometimes in school holidays) and they have become really likeable, kind (still occasionally boisterous!) lads. I get lovely cuddles from them, they are brilliant with younger mindees, and I am proud to have been part of their family for 11 years now.

I am now pleased that I didn't give notice but, if I was in that same position now, I am not sure that I would keep on with it. I was fairly new to childminding then, and now I'm old and wrinkly, I don't think I could cope so well with it. No amount of money now would make up for the trouble and stress of it. I don't like recommending minders to give notice, but dealing with difficult behaviour like this is really really hard.

I've done several positive behaviour-type courses since those days, and I think I would have deal with things a lot better now. I would certainly recommend doing courses like that - it helps you sort out how to deal with the behaviour, and how to get it to improve. Or help you decide that it's time to move on.

I sat down with their mum yesterday and discussed their challenging behaviour and we've agreed to give it 4 weeks trial and if it doesn't improve then I'll have to terminate the contract. She must of explained to them because they were really good this morning and I took them to a toddler group, and they were really well behaved there was no hitting or anything. I told them when we were leaving that they had to be "Superstars" for me and if they weren't we couldn't go there again. It seemed to work the first thing the eldest said to his mum was that he was a superstar and had been really good, he got a big cuddle and looked really pleased with himself

I feel alot better today, the mum's asked me to take them to a different group everyday to get them used to other children and if it carries on like thuis I should enjoy my job again.

I think there's a course coming up soon on challenging behaviour so I'm definatley going to it

I'm glad you were able to talk to the mum, and that it's working out positively. She could have got so funny about it so it's great that you're working together. Keep us posted!