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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

what do i say to parent who turns up early?

25 replies

PositiveOutlook · 10/01/2012 08:21

Good morning,

The dad of one of my mindees has always turned up a few minutes early (start time is 8am, I have mindee 2 mornings a week) and it was not a problem for me. Since Christmas he has been arriving around 7.50am, I had decided that this morning I would say something but wasn't sure what. This morning they arrived at 7.45am, when I opened the door I tried to look like I wasn't happy. Dad is always apologetic and says things like, sorry we are so early little one was really eager to get here, and I always end up saying that it's ok.

It isn't ok and I know I should've nipped it in the bud as soon as it started and I am normally a very straight forward person (my dh says I can be quite confrontational). I was going to ask mindees mum to have a word with him (mum collects mindee) but I am a grown woman and need to learn how to deal with this for the future because I know it will happen again with other parents. The problem is I can't stand that 'puppy just been kicked' people get when they feel they've been told off.

Can I have some advice on what is best to say, or some examples of how you have dealt with this? I need sensible ideas, I can't be sarcastic or not open the door until 8am.

In every other way they are good client.

TIA

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

wellwisher · 10/01/2012 08:27

"I'll take [mindee] today, but please don't ring the doorbell before 8:00 again. I use this time to set up the children's activity stuff and get everything ready so that they feel welcome and start having fun as soon as they arrive. If there's some reason why you need to drop him earlier than 8, let's discuss formalising the arrangement with a change to your official hours".

Rosiegirl · 10/01/2012 08:46

I've noticed you need to drop X off early, shall I change your contracted hours to show this. If you don't want them starting until 8, put something in a newsletter about adhering to set times, or when they knock, shout through the door "sorry you will have to wait a minute I'm not ready", if you don't like confrontation (like me).

HSMM · 10/01/2012 09:34

I told one dad he'd catch me undressed if he kept coming early . He never came early again!

I put in my newsletter that parents are welcome to park in the drive early and use a few minutes to read stories with their child.

thebody · 10/01/2012 10:17

think we all have had this and its very annoying tbh and a cheek too.

all of the above are good and I would add you could always blame insurance, i.e say you are only insured for the hours registered with Ofsted to be open and have been told that if you recive children earlier than their start time, you are not insured so simply cant risk this.

finally just say th doors are open at 8 am and not before even if the child is upset, dads problem..

Original poster

PositiveOutlook · 10/01/2012 10:22

Unfortunately this little one is not my first mindee in the mornings so I can't say I'm not ready as he knows I'm already up and ready with a mindee.

OP posts:

FetchezLaVache · 10/01/2012 10:24

Then I'd go for Rosiegirl's solution, it's a bit naughty that he's basically getting an extra quarter of an hour that he's not paying you for.

HSMM- that one could have backfired quite dramatically!

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2012 10:26

If that's the case positive, I would ask if they would like the mindee to start 15 minutes earlier and charge them accordingly. if you add up all those 15 and 20 minutes over a month you are short-changed. or pick mindee up earlier?

gardenpixies32 · 10/01/2012 12:58

You have some good advice from others already.

I had the same problem with 2 sets of parents. I emailed the Drop off and Collection Policy to all parents and reminded them to stick to their contracted hours. I explained that in the mornings I am busy sorting breakfast, setting up toys etc. I ended the letter saying that early drop offs are charged at 5 pounds per 5 minutes. Not one parent was every early again, not even by one minute!

ElizabethDarcy · 10/01/2012 13:20

Not covered by insurance if dropped off in non contractual hours?

boredandrestless · 10/01/2012 13:26

When I was child minding and this came up (came up with a few families over the years) I asked them if they wanted to review their hours on their contract. Oddly enough they didn't want to pay to come earlier and all stopped doing it. Magic!

BackforGood · 10/01/2012 13:29

As others have said, I'd say "I'll take him today, but if you want him to start before 8 o'clock, then we will need to review the contract, and you can decide if you want to pay for the extra time every day at my normal rate, or on an 'ad hoc' basis on my overtime rate" would cover it, I'd have thought.

Original poster

PositiveOutlook · 10/01/2012 13:49

I think dad thinks he is doing me a favour or is just being super polite by being early, it would definitely be easier to deal with if I thought he was in any way trying to take advantage. Mum deals with the paperwork and financial side and is having a lay in on the days when dad drops little one off, I am sure she would be mortified if she knew as she understands the importance of strict time keeping in this business.

I know that a quiet word will go a long way, I think that mentioning extra charges etc. is unnecessary at this stage.

Next time they arrive early I'm going to say,"good morning. I'm sorry, this is really awkward and I'm not being petty/pedantic but X's start time is 8am and I would appreciate it if you weren't early".

How does that sound? It's straight to the point without being rude or too blunt and no room for misinterpretation.

OP posts:

malovitt · 10/01/2012 14:07

I would say I'm feeding the other mindee breakfast between 7.45 and 8am and I don't like to interrupt mealtimes.

maybenow · 10/01/2012 14:13

maybe it's just me but i find 'i would appreciate it if you weren't early' sound a lot like a telling off - like something a teacher would say..

personaly i would say, good morning, wow, early again? i don't expect you till 8. would you like to change your hours? i can take him from 7:45 if that would be easier in future but we need to sort out the paperwork.

imamummyandananny · 10/01/2012 14:17

dont open the door until 8....they wont do it again! Make sure your hairdryer/shower is on at 7.50 and you couldnt possibly hear the doorbell

imamummyandananny · 10/01/2012 14:18

just read op again...why cant you not open the door till 8?? you wouldnt go to tesco 10 minutes befpre it opened and expect them to open would you...youre business is just the same.

leeloo1 · 10/01/2012 14:20

Don't feel bad about talking to the mum instead of the dad if she's easier to talk to. Then you can just say to the mum 'I've noticed dad's drop off time is getting earlier and earlier - its been 7.50 for a while, but this morning it was 7.45! Do you need to review the contractual hours or can you ask him to drop off at 8 please.'

Then she can happily blame him (or pay you for the extra hours they're taking up) and you'll have got it off your chest. :)

If you really do want to talk to the dad then what you've said is fine. When this happened with me I looked very pointedly at my watch and said 'gosh do you realise its only 8.20?', he looked very shamefaced (and offered to walk round the block for 10 mins - which I refused) and hasn't been early again since. :)

Original poster

PositiveOutlook · 10/01/2012 15:03

I don't want to come across as giving any kind of telling off, especially to a grown man, lol!

Mum and Dad know my routine and know I get all the kids to have breakfast together so can't go down that route and I don't want to tell any untruths.

Right, I've decided I'm going to put a watch on and next time say (in an exaggerated way), wow you are x minutes early, and when dad say he is sorry etc. I'll say, I know it is only x minutes but little one doesn't start until 8am.

Then in future I'll close the kitchen door, which is at the back of the house so I can't hear the front door until 8am.

Good idea?

OP posts:

missymoo2411 · 10/01/2012 19:10

news letter with charges worked for me

duckdodgers · 10/01/2012 22:45

I really would say about extra charge, all these other ideas seems to be just skirting round the issue - which is he is using up some of your time for free. You are a business at the end of the day so should be able to discuss this.

starsintheireyes · 10/01/2012 22:53

" I'll say, I know it is only x minutes but little one doesn't start until 8am." I dont think this approach is hard line enough, Id suggest offering to change contacted hours or drop off at 8am and not before. As others have said you are a buisness and they are basically getting 15free minutes which depending how often you have LO could add up to several hours a month...for free.

Flisspaps · 10/01/2012 23:03

If Dad were to bring the child 15 minutes early to every session then:

15 minutes x 2 sessions a week = 1/2 hour free each week x 4 weeks = 2 hours free each month

2 free hours each month x 12 months = 24 hours free care each year

One FULL day of your time, for nothing. Even at my rates of £3.00 per hour, that's £72.00 of charges.

I agree with what others are saying about being a bit firmer, this is your business and if you don't nip this in the bud now then you will end up having the piss taken out of you. What if other parents cotton on to the fact that you do nothing much if they drop children off early, and start doing it too?

Don't see it as a telling off - you are reminding him of the terms of your contract and protecting your business.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 11/01/2012 11:46

One of my mums arrived 20 minutes early .... once. I had just climbed out the shower and still had a towel around me when I opened the door to her to tell her I was not ready yet! She never came early again.

imaginethat · 11/01/2012 11:52

It's v cheeky but I would advise going v. gently as others have suggested and asking whether they need to review hours.

Mum2Luke · 11/01/2012 14:26

Depends how early really, I am open from 7.30 am, only got a before and after school mindee and would love a little one but there are very few parents who have jobs never mind full-time care needed. Am having to work as a dinner lady to supplement my earnings as I get paid by a local college for the mindee I have and its not enough.

I generally get up at 6.30 to get my eldest daughter up for college so i have a shower the day before so as not to get caught out! I don't think I would bother charging if it was 5 mins or 10 but if it gets to half-hour early I would change the contract with the parents to pay by half hour before 8.

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