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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

how much of their own lives do childminders get on with?

33 replies

stella1w · 30/12/2011 20:16

I am definitely moving towards trying to find a childminder when I return to work rather than a nursery, but am a bit worried about what the cm will actually do during the day.

The cm I see a lot near me seems to take her mindee to do her own shopping. I can see that a trip to the shops is a bit of change of scene/fresh air etc, but tbh think that if someone is being paid to look after my child, then my child should be the priority and I don't like the idea of my child being cooped up in a buggy while the CM gets on with her own errands.

Is this standard practice?

OP posts:

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OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 30/12/2011 20:19

A trip to the shops is/ can/should be an educational experience. "can you find me the bananas?" "Shall we see if all of the bananas are the same weight?" "How many bananas in that bunch?" And repeat ad nauseam.

Original poster

stella1w · 30/12/2011 20:20

sure.. that I wouldn't mind, but am worried that it could be a slippery slope and the kid could just be dragged around town all day while cm gets on with her chores at my expense!
M

OP posts:

lukewarmMulledWhine · 30/12/2011 20:22

Not to do the main supermarket shop, but to pop in occasionally for a couple of bits to the local shops, then yes, our cm does. But that's part of why I like a cm - its normal family life, shops, dentists, library etc, as well as play groups and soft play and parks and all that. I think it's of paramount importance that you totally trust your cm to be professional and get the balance of learning/play/indoor/outdoor/errands etc right, so you need to visit a few to get the right one for you.

south345 · 30/12/2011 21:01

We sometimes nip to the shop but usually on way back from toddlers etc, it would be almost impossible for a childminder to never run an errand I work 7-7 5 days a week and my bank doesn't open Saturdays so occasionally I might have to pop to the bank but as other posters say we make it fun and educational. If I have to say go to the doctors I ask if the parents mind if they do they can make alternative arrangements for that time, none ever have though.

Flisspaps · 30/12/2011 21:07

I took the children to the shop with me to get a few things for our lunch. Never for the main shop but it was nice for them to get to pick what fruit we bought that day, or to help count out how many potatoes or whatever we might have needed to get.

The point of choosing a CM over a nursery, surely, is that they do normal day-to-day things and your child learns from that? You can find the educational activity in almost anything and it's no different to a child learning things from being out and about with the parent. Even sorting socks from the (clean!) washing - matching pairs and no different to matching pairs on cards.

When you meet with CMs then ask what they would do in a typical day/week, or what they might see as acceptable. I don't know of any CMs who would think it appropriate to traipse your child round in a buggy all day every day doing their own errands :)

BoysAreLikeDogs · 30/12/2011 21:11

what the others said

RealityNeedsANamechange · 30/12/2011 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mousey84 · 30/12/2011 21:17

My younger mindees help me with do little shops, help wash and put away their wee dishes after meals, etc. I clean up mindee related stuff, and at most, in summer would throw a load of laundry on to hang out on a nice day, but thats it.

My dd and older mindee disappear off and play and I would do non-cm things then if they needed done - folding laundry, making dinner, make phonecalls etc thats all downstairs- as they dont need, or tbh, want constant attention from me unless its to feed them!

Mousey84 · 30/12/2011 21:22

Oh, and they will visit my friends, all of whom I have met at tots groups, and have kids of similar age, so its as social for them as it is for me. Think Id go a little nuts if didnt see them at least every other day so it needs to be done!

shesparkles · 30/12/2011 21:58

My fab CM used to sometimes take ds to do the shopping, but the whole reason I had a CM over a nursery was that I wanted ds to be doing the kind of things with her that he'd have been doing with me (except she did them a lot better!) On days when she only had ds, she'd often take him to visit her gran, which I used to love as my own mum had alzheimer's so he was able to build up quite a nice wee relationship with "a" grandmother, even though she wasn't his gran...she was also known to take him out for the occasional bar lunch when it was just her and him!
We LOVED our childminder!

MaryPoppinsMagic · 30/12/2011 22:06

i am like mousey also.

I work 5 days a week 7am - 7pm so sometimes i cannot avoid having to do something personal but i always check it with parents first. I did have one of my younger mindee's parents say to me just before xmas if i need to go into town she has no problem to avoid me spending hours on a saturday (she is lovely though)

however - i did post before about a parent who said i was not aloud to go to the shop not even for milk or bread that did not last long thechild is no longer with me

hoops997 · 30/12/2011 22:21

Agree with others, I love the fact my DS goes shopping, it's like he's in another little family, that's the main reason for choosing a CM over a nursery.....so he gets to do the day to day stuff and not couped up in one or two rooms.....

Cathycat · 30/12/2011 22:34

I think that it's great if children experience real life! Also by experiencing shops your child will become used to them, not see them as a novelty and hopefully be happy when you take him / her too! My own children went to Nursery but I often felt as if it was a false environment in this sense.

FunnysInTheGarden · 30/12/2011 22:40

I would much rather my DC, who both went to CM, did whatever their CM would usually do in a day, then it would mirror what we would usually do at home. So shopping on a Wednesday, Playgroup on a Tuesday etc. Just normal stuff I would do if I were at home. I wouldn't expect her to do a lot of cleaning while looking after DC, as I wouldn't if at home. And agree that to that extent a nursery an seem a bit unlike RL

Maryz · 30/12/2011 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FunnysInTheGarden · 30/12/2011 22:41

Oh and I love my CM too. She looks after DS2 all day and DS1 after school and is just fab. Very much one of the family

RitaMorgan · 30/12/2011 22:43

DS's CM has 3 under 18 months, so I doubt she gets much opportunity to enjoy a trip to the shops with them! I'm sure she does a bit of washing or cleaning while they play at home though, and I know she takes them to her allotment sometimes too.

hester · 30/12/2011 22:49

My dd is her CM's only mindee, and basically joins in her CM's daily life. Mostly it seems a fair balance between the CM's priorities and my dd's - a typical day seems to be morning in the playground or at a playgroup, then lunch with one of CM's friends. It all seems very relaxed and I think that's what you get with a CM - if I wanted a day of structured child-centred activities I'd be using a nursery.

The only moment I have had was when I recently found out that dd accompanies her CM to the gym, and goes to the creche there. I was not consulted on this. I'm still working out how I should feel about this,and respond to it, especially as dd is adopted and CM is her first experience of childcare.

RealityNeedsANamechange · 30/12/2011 22:58

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thinkofthemoney · 30/12/2011 23:01

Hester, that's shocking!

BoysAreLikeDogs · 30/12/2011 23:03

oh my gawd, unless you have given permission she shouldn't be using a creche or other forms of childcare for your child, and even then I think it's Not On, hester

Maryz · 30/12/2011 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raindroprhyme · 30/12/2011 23:04

The reason for choosing a CM for my kids was it was a home from home they would do all the things i would do with them. So fit into daily life, go on errands, school run etc.
I f i wanted my child cooped up in a nursery all day being stimulated educationally i would have chosen a nursery.

hester · 30/12/2011 23:07

Oh dear, I suspected it was not good. Anyway, I'm changing my work patterns and think that's going to have to mean new childcare arrangements. What a shame, she's such a nice lady, just a little tooooo laid back, I feel...

toody · 30/12/2011 23:07

Both my dd are cm working together and make it clear to prospective parents it is a home environment not a nursery. They take trips to the shops (short trips not main shop) if they have had messy play obviously it has to be cleaned and children are encouraged to help. I recently arrived home to find three children under 3 "washing" the kitchen walls, they had been helping to wipe the table after painting and decided to carry on and clean the kitchen. Both myself and all the parents thought it hilarious.

All the parents said they didn't mind the children being taken to town Christmas shopping dd's decided against doing this.

They take the children on lots of trips farms, soft play, zoo etc all at their own expense.

Look around at many cm, good ones will welcome visits and take a list of questions it's a bit like going to the drs. once there it's easy to forget what you wanted to ask.

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