Can you all tell me aibu

[happychappy]

I'm feeling a bit miffed at the moment but think I shouldn't really. I'm not sure.

I work 7.30 to 6.30 but at the moment never there before 7.30 (usually ringing at 7 'the traffics bad). However I do get whole days of in lieu (paid) when they are home. In the last month I have come to work and been asked to babysit 3 times because they forgot an engagement for that evening. (babysitting is not in my contract and she never pays me anything for it). It means me staying or my charge staying with me. One of these times was at 3pm in the afternoon. They ring at 6.30 saying they will be late home because the traffic is rubbish but the traffic is always rubbish. I feel that either ask me to come in later in the morning (they are never up when I get there thereby they are late so is my charge for whatever he is doing that day) or just speak to be about my finishing time. I find it a little irritating simply because I could stay home a while longer help my husband get our kids ready for school in a less stressful way and then continue my day and have the same work day.

They are so good in many other ways but over the run up Christmas I got really miffed over very small things like ringing me up at 11 at night to tell me they don't need me to come in the next day because they have decided to work for home or bring my charge into work with them. Usually I wouldn't really care but I think I'm a bit tired and thought oh well but it annoyed me a bit. Another is there is NO kitty and NO food in the house so how do you make dinner with no food I don't know. I think it's just as well I'm a good and inventive cook with some food in the freezer they never look at. However I did have to use food from my home in order to make it a dinner (no stock or basic things to make food). It feels so chaotic and disorganized and usually I fine with that but at the moment it feels to the point of disrespectful to my life and my time. I had a row with my husband about it all and ended up on the internet looking at other work, I found a lovely local job which pays better and has a house as accommodation as part of the package.

Yes I have a contract, which talks about working hours, time off, kitty etc.. The words are LIP SERVICE on their part.

If contract is lip service on their part you have to make sure that it isn't on yours. Re the babysitting in evenings - just say no to them? Ask them what they want you to feed their children?

I'd probably just take the new job - what's stopping you?

I like them, I like the child, the hours are long but I am worried about a pan and fire situation. No job is perfect. I've also only been there a year however it might end in another year. (I doubt it though as they travel alot and they have no family near so would still need someone). My charge starts school in September so probably all change again. The nature of the job I suppose, children grow.

The last time I did say no can't do with the babysitting.

www.greycoatplacements.co.uk/index.php?inc=vacancy_show&vacancy_id=39836
This is one of the jobs I've seen, DH and I very good candidates for this job and he's up for it.

I would go for the new job. If your existing employers have been ignoring the contract all this time then you may have left it too late to start adhering to it now.
When you do start your new job make sure you are firm from the start about things that are outside of the scope of your contract or you may find yourself in a similar position again.

They aren't going to change as you haven't this year- and tbh you will only end up feeling more tired and resentful as it goes on. Also you might be managing now but the stress will build up and that's not fair on you or your family.

Yes new job could be worse but could be a lot better - contracts aren't all lip service only to employers.

p.s. good luck with your application:)

I think the thing that really upset me was they are so disorganised that the last week of Christmas I booked Tue and Wed off to do something with my family. It was done over a month ago. On the Monday morning they were discussing what to do with charge and sofa deliveries and this and that. They had known for a month. They told me they wouldn't need me Thursday and Friday. Then Monday realised they needed me Thursday. So in I go given that was the last day before Christmas brought their presents in. A usual day except for the at 7 rang me to say she had to collect her DH so wouldn't be home before 8. Came home at 8 without her H, Not even a Christmas and the news she needs me to work Friday. I needed to be home Friday builder in for the morning. Asked if charge could come to me. Fine no problem. At 10.30 received a phone doesn't need me after all because charge gone to work with her. She was going to come over with a present on the Saturday I had to go to MIL so said AM only. No sign or even a message until XMAS day when DH sent a happy Christmas message, received a Happy Christmas and a sorry will see you next week with presents.

It's disorganized and annoying, you can't plan anything. In the nicest possible way they are not my family I work for them. I am happy to help in any possible way but this last month it is verging on the ridiculous.

Looks a cool job though don't you think? I've seen a couple of locals job and have a friend who runs an agency. what do think I should say about why I am looking for another job so soon?

Hiya, sorry to hear about your situation, having been a nanny for 15 years I understand how you feel. Very often the parents do take advantage, often not deliberately but because a lot of the time nannies don't stand upto them and say no or question things for fear of rocking the boat! Which gives them free rein to just keep taking advantage.

Personally I don't think the irritations will go away in fact just keep growing, I would either try and discuss these issues, even if you phone them one evening if you don't feel comfortable doing it face to face, and put the ball in there court, at the end of the day they can't read your mind so probably assume you don't mind.

Or you could just opt for looking for a new position, I appreciate it is difficult and you want to remain loyal, but you have to put you first.

Oh my goodness, that's blooming awful! Whenever my (former) nanny babysat we always paid her extra, and last minute ones were only ever true emergencies. I think you should look for another job, it's not going to get any better.