need to give my CM notice - and I feel terrible

[sickandtired]

My CM has had my kids over a year, she is lovely, but has recently made some comments that makes me thinks she is struggling with them and finding their behaviour quite challenging. I am not saying they are angels, they can be naughty, but no more so than any other under 3's I know.

However, I have been waiting for a place to come up in the nursery at work, and one has come up for them. It will also be significantly cheaper and is attached to where I work, so if there are problems I can be there immediatly.

Trouble is, I feel terrible giving her notice, I know she loves the boys, they love her and I like her, but I really think its for the best. Also, I had quite a long list of "all the things they had done wrong" yesterday, and to be honest it pissed me off.

So, when i give her notice she is going to think its a knee jerk from yesterday, which its not, I;ve never had to do anything like this before....

AW, I remember when I had to give my childminder notice. DD was 14 months old and she had been there full time since she was 1 month old. It was terrible. I made DH tell her, and she cried. If I had told her, I would have cried too. She called me a "big chicken" later... in jest... sort of. Anyway, being a parent is all about making tough decisions and putting your children's welfare first. Write her a nice reference, and explain that it is simply for the convenience of having them close to work and the cost savings. Telling her she's done something wrong really serves no purpose at this point. It will just make her feel bad.

good luck sickandtired. i reckon if you want to be really tactful you could sit her down and sort of prepare the ground by saying that you and your husband (if that's the case!) are having real financial difficulties. You just don't know what to do - you may have to give up work as it may be cheaper in the long run, etc, etc. Then when you're ready you can say, I've managed to sort it so I can keep my job but the children will (unfortunately, oh dear) HAVE to go to the workplace nursery for financial reasons.

Does this sound like it would work? It would be difficult for her to think that you were re-acting to what she's said about them then.

But to be honest, childminders (in my view) know they are running a business as well as caring for children and are well used to people stopping and starting, so don't feel you HAVE to justify things in this way. You are within your rights to just give notice!

Can't tell her we are struggling, as she knows that would be true - but she does know that after I have paid her I don't earn anything (as I work P/T for sanity). ANd this way will give me some dosh

It will be very obvious to her that a workplace nursery is the easir and more logical solution for you. Tell her that you have been on the waiting list, forget the 'rankles', they are not relevant in the giving notice, be appreciative of your time with her, give her the proper required notice etc, and it will all be fine fine fine!
Don't be so sentimental

as a cm I just wanted to agree with dexter that we are running a business even though we do get attached to the childen too. I dont think there are many childminders who would say this time next year ill still be watching child x y or z so dont feel bad. If you give her as much notice as poss. then shell be able to start trying to fill your wee ones places. Just tell her that a place has come up at your works nursery and its closer and cheaper. When it comes down to it they are your children so its up to you where you go with them. Please dont worry about it. Good luck and I hope it goes well for you
Kizzypie

We do expect to "lose" children - they move away, go to nursery, suddenly have grandma move in etc. It doesn't mean you never have to speak to her again (I hope!)

If she can give you a long list of all of the naughty things they did that day then you shouldn't feel too bad about giving notice. Did she ever give you a list of all of the lovely or clever things they did that day??? I would just tell her that you want to move them to the nursery for financial/convenience reasons. Blame your hubby and say he wants the money or something

Just tell her the truth about the nursey place being nearer in case of emergencies etc.

She'll totally understand.