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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

If someone says they are doing something 'due to a change in personal circumstances'

10 replies

squinker45 · 22/12/2011 23:09

Is it always an excuse? Only I have read on here some advice given to people who want an excuse to get out of something and don't want the person to know why, and it always seems to be 'due to a change in personal circumstances'.
I had a parent cancel a contract days before they were due to pay the first installment of a six month retainer fee, 'due to a change in personal circumstances' which they refused to discuss. Did they cancel because they decided the fee was too much?

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south345 · 22/12/2011 23:12

Probably or they thought they found a better deal, I had a parent very keen signed contracts kept checking place still there, a week before decided he'd gone to a totally different school and no longer needs holiday care near his home! Think there was more to it but think I had a lucky escape!

sunnydelight · 23/12/2011 01:41

I think "personal circumstances" is a bit of a cover all phrase as it can be the truth in a lot of different circumstances. In the situation you describe OP it could be that the family' s work or financial circumstances have changed so a job is uncertain, or reduced income means they can no longer afford to pay a retainer or they have found someone else who doesn't charge as much of a retainer or none at all.

While I totally understand the business case for charging a retainer, the reality is that a lot of people resent it, seeing it as paying for something without getting anything for their money. My mum was a CM and it never ceased to amaze me just how mean people (who were otherwise perfectly pleasant) could be when it came to money. At one point mum pretty much had a sibling forced on her for practically no extra but the parent just insisted she couldn't afford to pay any more and mum was way too soft!

hohohoshedittant · 23/12/2011 02:10

Probably, it kind of is a 'change in personal circumstances' though. They've found somewhere cheaper/no retainer so their circumstances have changed.

I understand why you need to charge a retainer, but tbh honest I wouldn't pay a 6 month retainer unless there was absolutely no other options or the childminder was Mary Poppins (complete with singing, bottomless bag, magic umberella etc)

lisaro · 23/12/2011 02:31

Trying to be nice here - maybe something personal has happened that they're not sure of the outcome of, or are, and just can't bring themselves to discuss it.

minderjinx · 23/12/2011 18:24

Did you take a deposit? Assuming you did and they will be forfeiting it, the change in personal circumstances is probably genuine.

topsytinselturner · 23/12/2011 18:52

I have given this excuse to parents when giving them notice . But it was for a genuine personal health reason . I just wasn't ready for people outside my family to know about it .
I know at the time the parents concerned didn't really believe me as I wouldn't give them the full reason , but what can you do ?

Original poster

squinker45 · 24/12/2011 11:57

No deposit taken unfortunately, but the retainer was only 20% of what they would be paying which we discussed and they were, I thought, fine with. I would have charged no retainer tbh had they balked at it but they didn't. Bit sad to have lost all that business, and they did seem lovely.

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Strix · 27/12/2011 10:35

20% for six months hardly goes into the "only" category for most people.

I would never sign up to this. I would look for a childminder about 2-3 months before needing him/her. I would be willing to pay a deposit, but not a retainer. Most childminders will hold a place for a month or so. So, I just time my search to fall into that time scale.

I have one child who goes during school hours only (whilst older two are in school). 20% for six months of this part time arrangement would cost me about £700. For that amount of money I'll wait until I actually need someone and take the chance that my first choice may or may not have an opening.

Original poster

squinker45 · 27/12/2011 15:34

Like I said I would have held the place with a deposit, or for nothing if they had said it was a problem as I am a pushover. I was taking advice from ncma which said a retainer should be 50%, but this would have been ridiculously expensive and I would have felt bad taking it. However the 20% (which worked out at around £700 like you say) was compensating for a potential loss of earnings of £3500 over those 6 months. If I had filled the place temporarily i wouldn't have taken the retainer of course. Deposit would have been slightly more, a months fees. I will do it that way next time, as if they cancel at least I get something.

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squinker45 · 27/12/2011 15:36

PS i do have a magic umbrella

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