Please tell me about au pairs

[soandsosmummy]

DP would like us to have an au pair as I have a health conditon which means I am very occasionally too ill to look after DD easily and he works away most of the week... So far I've always managed and kept her safe and looked after and get her to and from school but its been a strain on me but he would just like a back up.

I am not sure about the idea of sharing our house with a stranger. How does it work in terms of meals, cooking etc.? What do au pairs do anyway? What if I or more importantly dd don't like them? We can hardly sack them just for that

We only have one spare room which luckily has a small en suite shower and basin but no toilet. Would this be enough for an au pair. Everyone I've ever known who's had them has had huge houses and loads of extra space. I even know someone who gave them a huge flat all of their own within the house.

I am really dubious about this

It is difficult to have a stranger in the house, but the help could be invaluable.

You don't mention how old your DD is. Usually Au Pairs don't have sole care for anyone under 3, but I gather from what you've written that she is over 4 as she is in schoool, an d you would still be there, but just not able to do anything physical - maybe in your room resting?

Because you are there it is EXTRA important to find someone you can get along with. I would suggest you find someone who is either already here and you can meet them in person, or find someone in Europe who you could pay for them to come out for a trial/interview weekend. That way you have the chance to work out whether you are compatable.

A room with an en suite would be fine, some don't even have that. As long as you describe the situation properly in your ad, you will get applicants who are happy with that .

Having them as 'backup' would be a bit trickier. Usually you set their hours, with perhaps babysitting as a more 'flexible' option. If your DD is at school, then I guess your au pair's hours would be the school run morning and afternoon, and some time after school helping you get DD settled, fed, ready for bed. There is also usually an element of housework involved. But it shouldn't be predominantly housework. You can get them to help out with making meals, but I doubt that you could ask many to do that on their own.

oh thank you chitchattingelf the idea of a trial weekend is a good one and I think I'd find it really reassuring to have spent some time with them before they move in.

DPs big fear is that I may end up in hospital and he could be some hours away so I think the back up he has in mind is someone to fill that gap and look after dd until he can return. Hopefuly it would never happen!