Are these reasonable things to ask of a childminder?

[AmeliaEarhart]

I'm hoping to find a CM for my 1 year old, 2 days a week in January (search is not going so well, but that's another thread...). Do the following seem reasonable / normal requests?

• Using cloth nappies. They are shaped pocket nappies with velcro fastenings, so no folding required, just like putting on a disposable. Only extra hassle is that they will need changing more frequently (every 2-3 hours).
• Giving a bottle of EBM. DS usually only breastfeeds two or three times a day so can go without, but I think he would find it comforting.
• Napping. He's never learned to self-settle , and gets fed or cuddled / rocked to sleep for his morning nap. I'm guessing that with other charges to care for a CM may not have the time for this. What will happen?

I'm starting to feel like a nervous wreck about leaving him. He's my PFB (can you guess?) and we've never been apart for more than a few hours before. Are we a CM's nightmare??

I had all those requirements for my dd at the same age last year. Actually, she quickly got into cows milk when I wasn't around anyway. I found an amazing CM (saw some awful ones too, I'm afraid). Very willing to do whatever it took to get dd to sleep, and she was a terrible sleeper, would even carry her in my sling. However, after a couple of months (also 2 days a week), dd was napping in a travel cot! She now sleeps in the same room as several other toddlers. I was, and still am, completely amazed and delighted!

Good luck with your search. It is possible!

As a childminder, that would be all fine to me! The napping would be a bit difficult but as a childminder my job would be to plan my way around this so I could meet your little one's needs.

Good luck!

Just ask cms you phone. I would do the nappies, but there would be a bag of washing waiting for you at the end of the day. Milk can be whatever you like. The napping would depend on the other children, but you'll probably be surprised how quickly a child will self settle at someone else's house.

Just ask

Nappies - fine as long as you don't expect a minder to undertake washing them. I would always change about every 3 hours or as soon as I was aware nappy was soiled.

EBM - have never been asked to but would have no issue. In fact as a breast feeding advocate I would positively support you to do it.

Napping - while it's ideal that children learn to settle themselves to sleep I've had numerous mindees who have only slept in my arms. It's tricky if there are more children but do-able. Imho The trick is to recognise the perfect time to settle them and they're fast asleep in a matter of minutes.

A childminder will want to know as much as possible about your babies routine so they can adapt it as close as possible into their day. A good childminder shouldn't have an issue with any of your concerns.

All I'd suggest otherwise is to try to find someone who shares your parenting values and styles. As an experienced minder I've always found that my relationship with parents is much less complicated when we think the same way.
Hope this helps

My (wonderful!) CM has rocked all 3 of my children to sleep.

And, of course, got them to self-settle before I did

She would have been fine with EBM ( told me without prompting that she would be fine with that, but I was rubbish at expressing so we never did it).

Good luck with your search - a good CM is worth their weight in gold!

Oh, of course I would deal with the soiled nappies at the end of the day! Sorry, should have mentioned that.

DS will usually sleep in his cot, he just has to be asleep already when he's put down. I did wonder (and hope!) whether someone with more childcare experience than me might be able to get him to settle (and drink cow's milk).

I'm struggling a bit because the days I need seem to be extremely popular so there are very few vacancies, and I don't drive and have a long commute to work so I'm quite limited regarding times and location. I'm starting to panic about finding anyone at all, let alone someone who shares my parenting philosophy :(

does it have to be a CM? my DD's nursery were totally coll with washable nappies, EBM (and were horrified she self settled as they like cuddling/rocking babies to sleep as it means they get more cuddling time)

My CMs have all been happy to do the cloth nappies and the EBM. I didn't have the nap issue, but it also seems reasonable to me.

The nappy thing isnt ideal for me but wouldn't out me off.

Bm is no problem at all. One of the courses I've been has covered alot (correct storage etc) so that's fine.

The whole sleep thing would maybe be an issue for me as I dint always have time to rock or cuddle a child to sleep. ESP if we are out and about or it's school holiday time and I've another five kids that need me.

I've just done the course and am in the middle of my ofsted application to be a CM, and I use a CM myself. Nothing unreasonable about any of your requests.

I always tried to persuade parents of my mindees to try cloth nappies as I used them for my own kids and thought they were great. Nobody took me up on it unfortunately.

One of my mums brought EBM which worked out really well, though I asked her to bring an emergency supply I could keep in my freezer just in case. If a child refuses a feed you can only keep it so long before you have to throw it away (and remembering how difficult it is to express a decent quantity, it's painful to have to chuck it out), so needed to make sure there was always some available.

I would always try to accommodate rocking to sleep if it fitted in with the routines of the other children, though I have always tended to find the car did that job for me - all babies asleep by the time we got back from an outing! Just a case of getting them indoors without waking them up.

I asked our (fabuousl) CMs to do both 1 and 2.
TBH the nappies thing didn't work out so well - our CM really didn't like using them and so I gave her disposables to use. Not worth losing a good CM over IMO.
EBM should be no big deal at all.

wrt 3 - my approach was to tell the CM what I usually did but then left it to them to find the approach that worked best for them.

would be all fine with me, the rocking to sleep is what we all do with a pfb(and I did it with all of mine tbh) but they soon learn to settle by themselves, dont worry no nice cm leaves babies to howl and of course you feel a nervous wreak bless you.

tbh as a cm I am totally happy to accommadate most reasonable requests if parents actually pay me!!

good luck

The nappies wouldn't be a deal-breaker to be honest. We only use them about 75% of the time ourselves.

Lots of stories of lovely sounding CMs here, and lots of posts from lovely sounding CMs. Don't suppose any of you live in Islington, do you? [hopeful]

just to say as a parent my CM gave EBM - although my DCs were not keen on a bottle in the day from about 10 months -
Nappies - have know CM do it - but agree it wouldn't be a deal breaker
Napping I would expect CM to follow your lead but children can really differ in different places
BUT I would say especially as you are finding it difficult to find a spot I would give preference to a childminder you like who has a space above the other stuff

Amelia try contacting Kate Greenaway nursery, they have lots of info on childminders also there is a childminders stay and play on Bernard park (need to check days) where you can go and meet some or kings square nursery also has a bunch of info on childminders

And can't speak as a childminder, but as a nanny all of those things are fine...currently use cloth nappies on my youngest charge!

i live in islington have 2 days available, please feel free to contact me, if i haven't already spoken to you this morning
none of your requests sound unreasonable and i have dealt with them all in the past!
email is [email protected]

Ooh how lovely to read such wonderful posts by childminders! Where were you all when I was looking for one for my ds a few months ago?!

Ds is very happy in his nursery now, but I got increasingly despondent when I was looking.

Good luck in your search, OP. Hope you find someone as lovely as the ladies posting here x

As a childminder myself I see no issues with any of your requests - I use the cloth nappies provided by my parents happily, however I do request a few back up disposables, or to use my own ones, if going out on long trips and so on, or if, once your child does form a sleeping pattern during the day, he tends to sleep for a long time, as cloths can leak without warning or pattern.
With the napping, it may be that as you are breast feeding he is getting comfort from the milk smell from you, and this is why he won't settle - my minded baby, now 12m was BF from birth and wouldn't settle for naps at first, or indeed for night sleeps; before I started minding I spoke to her as a friend and suggested using controlled crying, which I did with my own (non-BF'd) baby. It is hard at first but will soon help ease them into a regular sleep routine, plus learning to self-soothe without Mummy and her milk smell.
Its a rocky road and as the mummy of an only child I feel your pain, whilst seeing it from the CM side of the fence too.
Oh and my minded baby also had EBM at the beginning - if your baby finds it difficult to go from breast to bottle, I can fully recommend the Breastflow bottles, my minded baby adapted really quickly.

Good luck in your minder hunt.