Hate DS's nursery but DH anti-childminder - desperately worried!

[DonInKillerHeels]

For various reasons (mainly a worryingly slack attitude to health and safety and hygiene) we want to move our DS out of his current nursery as soon as we possibly can. Unfortunately nurseries are heavily oversubscribed in our area, and although he's been on the waiting list for well over a year for better nurseries we're no nearer getting a place.

If it were just up to me I would seriously be looking for an Ofsted-registered child minder, but my DH is concerned about a) safety in someone else's home and b) lack of stimulation re. play equipment.

We could afford a nanny share (3 days a week), but think it would be hard to find one on the right days and at short notice. Definitely can't afford one on our own.

Can you lovely ladies please help with reassurance for my DH as to the good points of childminders?

(We're in Cambridge if that helps).

Has your DH seen a child minder recently? They are ofsted registered for a good reason, most if not all deliver the early years curriculum. I would suggest he goes and sees a couple and sees if they overcome his prejudices. They tend to be very different from the ones of my chilhood.

I would suggest you contact a few childminders in your area and visit them, taking DH with you (or going alone, then once you have found one you like, revisit with DH with you).

Childminders these days have to follow the EYFS curriculum just like Nursery. They also have to do risk assessments, safe guarding children policies, have access to outdoor play (it may be their own garden, or the local playground/park).

Cambridge seems a tough area to find childcare in - I recall parents from that area posting about how hard it is to find a nanny.

How old is your DS? I think the worry about lack of stimulation re play equipment is a red herring. Children learn a huge amount from the world around them and day to day stuff (my DS has been helping me make his tea - peel potatoes, mash them, do the washing up and he loved it). Maybe he should look into this - and your DS is more likely to get it from a child minder than nursery? Also safety - they have H&S rules to follow too.

I am a cm. Daily risk assessments here. I have my equipment, equipment at local toddler groups and parks, plus loads of natural resources, together with the day to day home routines of cooking etc. Why not visit a few. You might both change your minds .

If its a H&S issue, just report them to OFSTED, you can do it anomymously and hopefully rather than being a negative thing it will help them address any serious issues and the nursery will improve and you won't have to move him.
Its worth a try.

i live just north of cambridge and there are some fab fab childminders in the city!...we have an absolutely fantastic nanny that we share with another family...and very reassuringly when we advertised a) for a family to nanny share with and b) for a nanny to look after the children we got some very fast and very very good responses / candidates...so if you want to go down that route please do not be put off...it is a lot easier than you think it might be.

here is link for searching for cambridgshire childminders -
familiesandchildcare.org.uk/childcaretype.htm
all ones I have met in the area have also been excellent, however can be difficult to find a place at short notice -but I would urge you both to visit some!

I would have thought actually at short notice a nanny share might be as easey and as quick to set up - thinks some nanny agencies in cambridge will so them

PS do report the nursery to Ofsted whatever

I definitely think you need to get your DH to actually VISIT some childminders himself and then see what he thinks. One of the children I used to look after wouldn't have come to me if their dad had his way. Unfortunately he had a bad experience with a CM in HIS childhood and just wouldn't consider a CM at all. The mum insisted that he at least visited one/some to see how he then felt. Well, the dad (lovely!) came to visit me and immediately decided he was happy for his little one to come and they signed up straight away. So what I'm saying is that some people can have this negative image in their head and the only way to get over this is by actually visiting them and then deciding. Good luck and yes, do report that nursery!

This is all very helpful, thank you. I'll see if DH is willing just to visit some child minders without any commitment.

Cambridge is a seriously tough place childcare wise; I have no idea why.

Tell your dh that a huge number of children do not go to nursery or a childminder and get along just fine when they start in Reception. Little children do not need lots of stuff or stimulation.

I'm a CM. i have a lo who was very unhappy at nursery and was being hurt a lot as the level of supervision just isn't the same as with a CM/ nanny.
his dad was very anti CM and came en route to visit a nursery in a " might as well as it's on our way". Pleased to say they cancelled the visit with nursery and their little one is very very happy here as are they.
Can I ask what your husband thinks is the difference between a cM working alone in her home and a nanny working alone in your home? If he has trust issues there is not much to choose. I would point out that all CM's are OFSTD registered, have paediatric first aid and public liability insuarnce and are OFSTED inspected. Nannies do not have to do any of these things,
I think people have little idea of how professional CM's are now. We are subject to the same regulations as nurseries, and also have to follow the EYFS, but look after a maximum of 3 lo's so you get individual care, cuddles, many more trips out ( far easier with one or two than 20 lo's) personally, I go out every day to farms, jojingles, toddler groups, library story times, playgrounds and general splashing about and feeding ducks etc.. You also have the same person looking after your lo every day, not a keyworker who may not be there, and won't be there all day when lo will be looked after by a 17 year old with very little experience,
A clincher for me is that I know many people who have worked in nurseries, and without exception, they say they wouldn't send their own child to nursery, but would send to CM.

I chose a childminder for many of the reasons moogster has mentioned amoungst others and my 15mth old goes 3 days a weeks since 9mths old and since he was 13mths to a nursery 1 day a week and def would not send him to nursery anymore than 1 day a week no matter how fab it is, our childminder is great and I like my baby to mix with a wide age range, have to go on a school run, go to post office, go with my pregnant childminder to her midwife appointments etc etc.

I can recommend the CM I use for my 2yo. We're based in south Cambs so may be a bit out of the way, butif you want more info then just PM me.

Don't let your DH rule out a whole type of childcare because of his prejudices / hang-ups / assumptions. As others have said, he should go and visit / speak to CMs and nanny-shares, he may well change his mind.

My BIL is like this, won't let anyone else at all, even family, look after their DC, but is happy to use a nursery (even though he then moans about the DC being exhausted and screaming by the end of the day and bringing home illnesses all the time).

I had similar worries about CMs, but having used four nurseries and a CM, the CM wins hands-down. More individual attention (our CM only has her own DC and ours), baby can bond with one carer (rather than ever-changing carers at nursery), more rest for the baby, home-cooking, comfy home-from-home environment. CM can adapt what they do if a mindee is tired or unwell. Still plenty of fun activities, play with other children, outings etc. Obviously you need to trust the person!

I can recommend our CM just west of Cambridge (Hardwick). Fab home-from-home environment, a real family atmosphere, and stable staffing. Agree your DH needs to visit one or two.