Thoughts on my nanny's behavior please

[Knackeredmother]

i posted on here a while ago about my sick ds, his frequent hospital admissions, how we are struggling to cope and asking if it was reasonable to ask our nanny to help out with children's laundry, cooking extra meals etc to help out.
I'm on my phone so can't link to the thread but will do so later.
Anyway on advice from here I had a talk and explained how difficult things were and asked to her do the extra things. Things have improved slightly. She has made the children's beds a few times and done some laundry. Still a way to go but some improvement.
However I am struggling with the fact that when I let her know
My son is in hospital (so she can plan her week) she does not reply. This just seems to me that she doesn't care. He is in hospital now, very very ill, and I text her yesterday to let her know and she has not replied.
I know I can't force her to care and I don't feel I can bring it
Up but it is really affecting how I feel about her.
I am not sure if I am expecting too much or if it would be reasonable to expect her to at least to reply ' with I hope he is ok'?
I would appreciate your thoughts and I promise this is the last time I will post about my nanny saga!

I am a cm and I would be lying if I said I loved my mindees, i dont, I only love my own dcs but that doesnt stop me being very very fond of them, and fond of their parents too and as a decent human being I would bend over backwards to help all in your situation and be there for them.

hugs to you.

I recall reading your threads before. My son has been in hospital for a very minor op recently and everyone who works with him at nursery enquired as to how he was when he went back. In fact even when I rang up to say he had to miss a few days they very obviously cared. I would definitely expect a nanny to.

I believe you would benefit enormously from having a different nanny.

I remember your other thread, and I thought then that your nanny wasn't the right fit for you at all. Regardless of whether a nanny 'should' txt or not, you want to have the sort of nanny who cares about her charges, cares enough about you to help you out (by actually doing what her contract ALREADY says!!!!) and is responsive to this very difficult situation. You don't have that and I really think you should find a new nanny.

She may not be WRONG, but she is WRONG FOR YOU, and that is more than enough of a reason to find a different nanny.

As a nanny with no dc's of my own, I have to say I LOVE my charges!!! If I got a text saying either of the children or the parents where in hospital, no matter how frequent, I would send my sympathies and offer my help. I would especially step my game up at work, without being asked.

It sounds like you have a bit of a cold fish on your hands and I suggest you get rid! Considering she is there and being paid to make your life easier, this nanny is draining you of very valuable resources that you just don't have spare. get rid and find someone who is considerate and caring when it comes to you and your family.

good luck!!! i hope your ds gets well soon x

I am a nanny and I wouldn't say I love my charges but I am very fond of them and if one of them were ill/in hospital I would do whatever I could to help the parents other charge. I would happily do extra around the house, stay late if needed and would make a meal each day for when the parents got home. I would do this on my own without needing to be asked. As for the other jobs she doesn't do - is she not a nanny? Those are typical nursery duties that she should be doing everyday without being asked. I have 2 p/t positions adding up to a full time and I manage to get as much of these jobs done as I can in the days I am there so being p/t is no excuse.

As for the not replying, sure she should reply out of politeness if nothing else.

I hope your DS is on the mend very soon.

It would certainly bother me too, glad you and your DS are home again. I totally agree you would benefit from a more supportive nanny. Our nanny isn't very affectionate with DC, but I know without a doubt she would be concerned if they were ill, let alone in hospital,and would take on more to help. There is no excuse for her no replying to your texts about DS in hospital. I would definitely be looking for another nanny or even a mothers-help.