help help help feel terrible ive messed up

[peckarollover]

bugger bugger bugger

I have got a new starter who has been for initial visit and one settling in visit.

Her last visit was before christmas and we arranged for her to come back and visit again before starting on the 11th January. I remember this arrangement now but totally forgot about it until she arrived this morning with me still in my pyjamas and Grandma picking the kids up for a day out.

I was sure at first that she had made the mistake as I only had on the calendar 11th Jan ** visit 10 - 2.

I said to her oh Im so sorry, give me a few minutes and I will still have her but she just said no its fine Ill take her back I can see I have caught you on the hop.

I apologised and said any day she wants between now and next week we can rearrange the visit.

She is goign to ring me tonight to let me know when.

I feel unbelievably guilty, am not normally unreliable I must have just written it on the calendar in the wrong week then with christmas etc everything has been a muddle as we have all been ill.

What can I do to make amends? Im gutted as I think she will now think Im useless and not to be trusted.

arghghghghgh could kick myself

I'm sure she won't think you are unreliable. When she calls tonight just explain to her that with Christmas, and all that goes on at school/nursery as well that week you just wrote it down wrong on the calendar. She's a parent her self and i'm sure she will understand.

Thing is after it registering that she was there and I wasnt expecting her I quickly said "It doesnt have to be a problem, Im quite happy to still have her" but she didnt want to leave her - Im hoping she didnt make an on the spot decision that Im not to be relied on

I really feel knotted up with guilt about this. Can just imagine taking my DS to a new childminder and having forgotten and still in PJs at 10 am what I would think

any old hands around to tell me what they would do?

Could you perhaps call her before this evening and have a chat. I really do think she would be very understanding. Its not something i've done before. I have been in my pj's when mindees arrived, but thats because the mother never told me the hours were different that week!

If I were in your shoes I would ring her myself and explain it how it is, I woul also use this oppurtunity to make arrangements for the next visit. Don't worry too much about it. We childminders are only human aren't we?

I suppose in a way it shows Im a good one as I feel really, really wracked with guilt. But then she doesnt know that.

Yes, think I will ring her first to say how sorry I am and that I feel dreadful and to make the next arrangement.

Let us know how you get on.

oh I feel for you here!

I took on a mindee with odd hours (an hour here and there for early morning or evening hours) And the second time I had him was 7 - 8am in the morning. however there was a bit of a language problem with the parents as they didn't speak very good english, and when they phoned to request the hours they needed and I read them back to them I was so sure I had them right.

Then the dad turned up with him at 7am the next morning (and I had only written down the evening) and we were sound asleep in bed! I don't usually get up till 7.30! Not only that, to make matters worse, he just walked in the house (dh had left the back door unlocked) and was standing there in the pitch darkness shouting up the stairs! We thought we were being burgled.... I came down in my dressing gown, he put the baby in my arms and left!

I'm sure it's a cultural difference (if a house is pitch black I'd never just walk in lol!) but it made me so uncomfortable at the time. I still cringe but he seemed to forget all about it.

I have done this, forgotten about a child coming, and to make it worse it was the childs first day. I forgot to set the alarm, she was arriving at 6.50am. She turned up, house was dark ad locked up, she rang the bell a couple of times and there i appeared in my shorts and t.shirt for bed. was so embarrassed. i apologised a lot, and she was fine with it. everyone makes mistakes. don't worry, just explain that with the rush over xmas you must have written it down for the wrong day. she will understand, we are all human, reassure her that you are normally very organised.

As a parent, I would appreciate a call. Try and work out a simple sentence (try not to get het up and ramble on) that sums up how you messed up, along the lines of 'I'm really sorry, I had x down for the 11th instead of the 4th, obviously when she starts properly, this wouldn't happen as we will be in a routine.'

Hope it's done and dusted for you.

I hate it when something goes wrong with a new mindee as you obviously do worry that the parents will think you're always like that. I've never done anything too horrific, although melting a child's lunchbox on my hot cooker was a bit of a no-no (and in the child's first week).

I had a friend whose mindee, on their very first day, had an accident which was serious enough for the minder to have to call the parents.

Pecka - one day, many years down the line, you will look back at this incident with the parents and have a good laugh about it. I would certainly ring (not now because it's a bit late!) and say another "sorry, can't believe I've done this" type of thing.

Thanks for the messages everyone

I called her last night at about 6pm. I told her that I had felt awful all day today and had never done anythign like that before.

She was ok, I think she was very cross at the time but had come to realise that I was only human and it wasnt a reflection on me.

We have rearranged for this afternoon and all seemed ok. Im determined for her to have a lovely visit! Have her mindee welcome pack all made up etc and some nice activities planned.

PHEW

how did it go yesterday and out of interest what activities did you do with your new mindee (ill hopefully be having my own new mindee's soon and would like an idea)

Yesterday went really well - she has settled in great. She came in with open arms wanting a cuddle and happily waved Mum off.

We went to the post office to post a letter then came back and made letters to her Mum and Dad to give at home.

Then we did a chalk activity with black card and pack of chalks.

Then got guinea pigs out and chopped some fresh veg to feed them.

Next week when I have her we are going to the beach to collect pebbles and shells which we will then make Seaside pictures with when we get back.

Nothing too exciting really !

awww glad it went well sounds like fun its the simple thigns that make kids happy i think