Nanny facing bereavement - how should I deal?

[azazello]

My lovely nanny has been with us for 9 months. She has just found out that her dearly loved grandma has a week to live. She is very close to her grandma and, while she knew it was coming, the shortness of time is a bit of a shock.

How should I be dealing with this as an employer? I am sorry for her and will get home earlier so she can get to see her grandma every day and given her days off when she needs them. I want to be as helpful as possible through this but I will still need childcare and I don't quite know how to handle it.

I/DH/ my mum between us can cover for up to a week without any problem but I am concerned about how we would manage if she needs longer than that off. I know she may not be in a fit state to come back to work and would need to be signed off sick. Morally and legally, I have to keep the job open for her for as long as necessary don't I? Is there any advice on how this works with trying to find alternative childcare?

Our contract with our nanny is SSP only. She has had a couple of days off sick in the past which we have paid in full, and we would be able to pay her her full salary for compassionate leave while it is something that we can cover by taking holiday but if we have to pay out for an emergency nanny, we won't be able to carry on paying our current nanny for very long at all.

How do I explain that we'll give her [ ] days and then she'll need to be signed off sick? Do I need to explain this? Is it better to say it now or wait?

I would explain it now. Obviously it's very tough for your nanny and you're being very understanding but at the same time it's a strain for you and you're not unreasonable to want to know which way is up so tu can plan.

Wrt pay you can informally offer her x days paid compassionate leave and say if after that she needs more time it's SSP with a note from the doctor. SSP can be reclaimed so you're not paying her and the temp although temps do tend to be more expensive. She may find work helps her not dwell on it (that's badly phrased I know) as long as you accept she'll be subdued.

wait to see how she deals with it and then decide

tho very thoughtful and fair of you to reliese she will need time off but as not imm family she isnt entitled to it

sadly my dh died in april this year and my bosses were fab - gave me as much time paid off as i wanted but i went back after 3 weeks as i needed and wanted to for my own state of mind

too much time off and the mind thinks too much

Thanks very much. I've checked what I would get at work and they reckon 3 days plus holiday/ SSP.

I think I will talk to her today and say I'll do the same (we could probably cover 5 days holiday as we allocate our own leave to it) but that if she wants to take some of the compassionate leave before her grandma dies, so she can spend time with her, we'll make arrangements for that so 3 days CL plus 5 days AL or SSP.

Thanks Blondes (sorry I posted before I saw your reply). I am very sorry for your loss.

I thought it might be worth saying something now, so she can have some time beforehand if necessary. Do you think that's worth it?

Guess no harm in saying to your nanny did she want to spend a few days with her nan before she sadly dies

Tricky one but sounds like you are a caring mb

I think it would be good to have the conversation now so she knows where she stands and so that you can tell her what you are able to do (which is more than lots of people would do). It will be much harder for you once her G dies to talk about leave/pay etc - it just feels so cold and uncaring after the fact IMO.

Thankyou. I got in early on Friday so we were able to have a chat and a hug. She was fine about the conversation and is going to keep in touch about how is doing when it happens.

I feel much better for speaking to her and less stressed about sorting out alternatives.

I'm sure she will feel better for having had the conversation too as she will now know where she stands, what you are able to do and most importantly that you are willing to do as much as you can for her, when she really needs you to. I really feel for her :( However, nannying is one of the best jobs to have when things like this happen as kids are just so full of life and (usually) loving, & they're good at distracting you from your sad thoughts.