Hi - hoping for some advice (and I guess shoulders to cry on!) please.
Have been CMing for nearly 3 years, have 2 kids of own, at school. Currently have a little boy who is just 2, who has been with me a year, and a boy of 13 months who started 6 weeks ago... and is not settling AT ALL. I've had a couple of mindees who have not shed a tear about settling in, and a couple who've found it more difficult, so I have dealt with this issue before, but this has been the worst, and I feel terrible for him.
He 's great at drop-off, hardly a murmur as parent passes him to me - and while I am holding him, all is well. But then, it's breakfast before school run, and have 5 yr old, 7 yr old and 2 year old to feed, get shoes on etc as well as him...as soon as I put him in Highchair, starts screaming. And I mean screaming - DH says he can hear thru double glazing on street. And screaming rather than crying, no tears. As soon as pick up, stops, like a switch. And that's pretty much the pattern for the day...for 6 weeks now.
He's happy on my knee, on floor while I play with 2 year old...but after about 30 minutes of various activities will start screaming, and nothing will soothe not even a cuddle, distraction, our cats, my singing or snack time. So we have to go out. Out in pram, all fine usually - does not sleep, though must be tired - after an hour we're back home as 2 year old at least would like lunch :o) 13 month old happy to be out of pram, gives me smiles, happy while we come in and I balance him on knee while I take 2 yr old's shoes off ...but as soon as I try and put him down, having got toys out, shown how they roll/ shake/ rattle etc - he starts screaming as soon as bum touches floor.
Have tried leaving him to roam with selection of toys - putting in high chair/ putting in pram/ putting in car seat...nothing really works. Until I pick him up, and stops instantly.
I feel terrible he's so unhappy - think he's tired as much as anything, Mum says he doesn't sleep well, doesn't really have a naptime, small amounts of sleep at different times, different days - so no routine I can adapt to, and so far he's not adapting to mine and 2 year old's!:o) He happily ate breakfast this morning, but towards end of bowlful started bellowing, didn't want more, didn't want toast, didn't want to be down and playing, didn't want to sit on my knee - wanted to be walked about...And I just can't really do that 10 minutes before school run with 4 kids to get ready. Of course, all children have an 'off' day with teething, being under weather etc, but this is every day....all day. And nothing really wrong because as soon as in my arms, stops instantly.
My children, who are usually very fond of mindees ask "Will he be here when we get back from school?" and then say 'oh no' when I say yes, "because he screams all the time". The 2 year old, bless him, is good as gold, but is hardly getting much time, as little one always awake and nearly always screaming.
I know 6 weeks is early days...but no improvement at all, and feel terrible he's so unsettled. Another CM friend advised me to give notice, that maybe he needs a one-on-one carer, perhaps at own home. But I have had 2 tough settlers-in before, and we got there in the end. I feel like a failure thinking of giving notice: but he's not happy, we're not happy, maybe it's just not the right setting for him?
Any feedback gratefully received!