What is best - three long or four short days?

[bigkidsdidit]

we are moving to Scotland from London in January and both DH and I have some leeway in the hours of our new jobs. DH has arranged compressed hours and will be at home all Friday. Now I'm trying to work out what to do. I could do flexitime and have DS with the CM 8-3 for four days, or do compressed hours too and do 8-5.30 three days. What is best for DS do you reckon?

Instinctively I prefer three days so I have a day at home with him but not sure about just getting home for bath and bed on CM days. Perhaps four afternoons together would be better?

Thanks for any opinions!

What's your commute? And how close is DS to starting school?

If it's a bad commute then 3 days is better. If close to school/nursery age then 4 days perhaps better.

We're looking at houses now but ideally 10 mins cycle so that's no problem. He will be 13 months - school a while off!

Both are reasonable. If you collect him at 3pm you will still have time to do something together if you organise yourself (soft play or a swim) then have dinner/tea together, and a nice bedtime. Does he go to bed early? Will you have much time after 5.30? Obviously you can do more activities with a full day (although you may find you end up doing everyday chores instead).

Forgot to add, from experience, I had a little boy who finished at 3, 5 days a week. Mum then picked up his older brother from school and (in nice weather) they would go to the local park, or visit a friend or his grandma. It worked really well for them.

check what time local schools finish - 3pm pick up might have to be shuffled back as the CMs with after schoolies may be on sch run then

ooops, going back to OP, both options are reasonable

From a work perspective I would do it in as few days as possible, so I would do the three days.

Then you should get a lunch break, less days to get up and less 'part-timer' comments when you leave before the others. And you get four whole days with your ds.

Good on your dh for arranging compressed hours.

Rosie that's what we do now, 8.30-2.30 five days, and it's good. Just wondered about a full day and if it would be preferable - I didn't have the option in this job. I see what you mean about chores though, he's been ill this week so I've been off. Today I don't think I actually interacted with him any more than I do from 2.30 normally - he still naps for three hours in the day and I did chores etc plus had to prepare his meals and so on.

He goes to bed at 7 - dinner at 5, bath at 6.30, so plenty of time for an activity. How lovely, here we go to the swings often but in Scotland I'll have a car so lots more is possible :)

Goodasgold That's interesting. Hours don't formally mean much - I'm an academic and run my own work - but I need to do a formal ish application. I will be working every night once he's in bed, I expect. But I don't want the others to think I'm a slacker!

I'm a teacher and went from 3 long to 4 short days last year when I changed jobs. It's OK. The problem is, I'm constantly TRYING to rush out of the door on the days I finish early (some days I start late) but don't always make it. It also took me nearly a year to convince them I wasn't a slacker (working till stupid o'clock at home every night, but all they saw was me rushing out to get the kids). Idiots . I have 1 of school age and 1 pre-schooler and I do also find that the mornings I work are so much more hectic - I'd love to only have 3 of them!

Having said that, finishing early is absolutely lovely and there is time in the day to do stuff (if you're not too knackered!). I did hate picking them up so late when I did longer days.

That hasn't helped at all, has it?!

You've written down my entire inner monologue

This is interesting to me too as I am planning my return to work after my mat leave (which will not commence for a few months yet). Exactly the same dilemma without the previous experience... Please tell me when you find the perfect solution!

I work 3 long days, it's good home-wise as it means DD2 (age 1) is at home more days than she's in childcare. Less days to worry about covering for work if she gets sick etc. The CM cooks her tea for those 3 nights a week - no cooking for me at all for 3 days a week, amazing! - and DD2 has lots of company at mealtimes. She is always content when I collect her and DD1 just before 6pm and we still get bath and bedtime routine (she doesn't go to bed that early, I wish!)

Work-wise, 4 days would be better. But leaving at 2pm would probably not be approved by my work. Leaving at 4ish (I commute) is v hard as it is. Everyone else in team works til 6 or later.

Think four or even five short days would be better when both DDs are at school.

3 I think. by the time you get home will be in a rush otherwise. And on an extra day then you could do lunch with a friend or something or go to toddler group in morning - if dont know many people then good way to make friends with other MUms. Where in scotland?

Also in academia.

I prefer 3 days because I'm then simply not there on the 4th day to be snagged by a departmental meeting or waylaid by students. I find that it's easier to say 'I'm not in' than 'I'm only in until X o'clock'. Plus from experience nannying a lot of structured activities run in the morning so a full day off has more flexibility.

That said shorter days would be preferable were DS at school.

Yes I can see what you mean Fraktious.

What worries me - pfb alert- is that on the three days he'd not really register with me at all. four shorter ones feels like I'd have more input, somehow. It would be nice to go to a playgroup and make some friends, though. And I asked my current cm here in London and she said three days as they often have activities or park trips all together in the afternoon that my DS doesn't go on.

Aaah!

I suppose either way is fine, really. Just can't make my mind up!

Edinburgh, Giraffes :)

I've thought about it a bit more. The crap bits of working 4 short days for me I can deal with because it means I can do more school runs. You don't have those yet. So I would do 3 days if I were you.

It's my school age child who benefits from my 4 short days; I actually think my 2 year old misses out.

AND (ooh I'm thinking of loads of things now) the ONE PRECIOUS DAY OFF I have at the moment has to be PRODUCTIVE and PERFECT and fit everything in and it CAN'T! 2 days off gives you a bit more breathing space to do things you need to do and do fun stuff, see friends etc.

Oh, the guilt of it all.... and I was asked to do an extra day this term. Sod that...

My little one also needs a lot of sleep in the day still. I found at nursery (CM may be different) he has less than half the sleep he needs and on the day I work a full day and my DH collects him at 5.30 he is in pieces. Personally, I like finishing early 2 days a week so I can either collect him early, or have the option to go to the supermarket, bank, post office etc without him. The downside is paying for 3 full days of childcare but only being paid myself for the equivalent of 2 days, but overall I think its worth it for the flexibility and to avoid the stress of rushing through traffic to collect by 6pm.

If you will commute by push-bike, what is your contingency for bad weather? Will you need time to get home then go out again by car or taxi?

I would only have one day IHKT - DH would have one. But I get your point.

Vicky thanks for your post but he sleeps 3 hours a day at the CM :) at the moment I just collect him in the sling and pop my coat over his head! I can't drive so not much more I can do ...

Oh yeah. Forgot that bit!