Looking for part-time nanny to help with toddler development

[TXB]

Hi,
I have had 2 part time nannies for my nearly 2yo ds. At the time when I hired them I explained I am a first time mum and I would like them to help with my son's development with speech, art and other such milestones. The first one was good as she used to play with my son but didn't really do anything to assist with his development (in the sense of teaching him things). We moved house to a new area so I got another one. The 2nd one is standoffish, doesn't really interact with him and drinks cups of tea while he watches TV.

I found the first one privately, the second one on Childcare.UK. I am wondering firstly, do such nannies exist that can help develop children's skills whilst helping new parents understand how to develop their children's skills? The second idea I've been toying with is should I go through an agency in the hope I can get a highly qualified nanny? I have searched google forever to find 'toddler specialists' etc and I keep drawing blanks.

I would appreciate any feedback on your experience with agency vs privately sourced nannies. Maybe it's just the luck of the draw. :(

What exactly do you want them to do? Is it sole charge or are you around?

The first one was good as she used to play with my son but didn't really do anything to assist with his development. Just playing is important :)

The 2nd one is standoffish, doesn't really interact with him and drinks cups of tea while he watches TV. TBH that could be me at the end of a busy day - when DC 4 just needs time to chill so I can cook dinner or even so I can get a chance to sit down. However we do interact all day and even though I am currently on the laptop as we have a 15 minute chill before we go out again I am still interacting with him even though he doesn't really want me to play

Thanks for your response Mogandme. I am around throughout the time unless I have an appointment and I'll be gone a few hours. Agreed, my first one was good as she used to play with him but we moved to a different area where she could not travel to.

With the 2nd one, I understand that people get tired at the end of the day - I play with him most of the day and it is tiring. In saying that however, I pay her to provide a service and sitting around (mostly in a different room) not interacting with my son for the entirety of her shift, I do not believe she is fulfilling her work obligation. It's a shame as she is a very nice girl but I am after someone who is prepared to do their job and be proactive. My first one would take regular breaks etc but then she would play with him again, take him to the park, playgroup etc. As he is now older however, I would like to find someone who can hone in and assist in developing his skills.

Any advice on agencies by any chance?
Thanks

I agree the second one sounds a bit rubbish - I was being flippant :)

I still find this whole nanny for development issues a bit odd however have you tried advertising at the uni - a student doing childhood studies or teacher training may enjoy doing this around their studies.

Is your nanny qualified? If not I'd be looking for a new one with the NNEB or NVQ3 who klnows about child development. A good nanny will encourage development through play and real life experiences. A walk to the park can incorporate language development, colours, counting etc ie/ What colours that bus? Yes, that's right, it's a red bus, how many steps up the slide, let's count, 1,2,3. Shopping. Let's buy 3 apples. Can you count? Arts and crafts at home will develope fine and gross motor skills, reading stories develop language and listening skills. Children will learn without feeling like they're being taught if you see what I mean.

Insist on no television or limited television when nanny is around and why the hell is she in a different room? Go for a nanny who speaks clearly and correctly. Of course your nanny should be interacting with your son. That's her job! Tell her to shape up or you'll get rid.

Yes, she's qualified. In fact, you wouldn't believe the great experience she has. Ofsted registered, senior nursery teacher in a previous job... the list goes on. She does know what she's meant to be doing but I think she's just really tired herself (she's got a child as well). For me, that's not really fair because I feel like I'm paying her to rest.

What you describe Ebb is EXACTLY the sort of nanny I'm seeking. I would have thought teaching those sort of skills & development would be part of a nanny's job description but maybe I'm mistaken? I think the idea of limited television is good - when she's having a break turn on the telly but the majority of the time it should just be spent interacting with my son.

Thanks for your input, I always wonder with these things as I don't want to be unfair but it is frustrating when you feel like you're paying for a service you're not receiving. I think I'll start looking around for another one. I have NO idea where to start looking this time round.

Ebb = i do this in my day to day intereaction with the children! We would go out for a walk around the block and identify colours by looking at cars, front doors etc. I imagine most mums and childcarers do this kind of thing, no?

TXB - if you would like a nanny to do more structured things, perhaps ask her to come up with a list of activities (i.e. learning colours, they could paint a red bus) and you can offer to get paints/materials etc? I take my charges to playgroup where they can play, sing, be sociable and help tidy up. They 'help' me to cook and tidy in the kitchen, we go to the park and they learn about animals/trees and other people. A lot of learning for such a young age comes from just doing normal stuff. Having said that, we do take quiet time now and again for lotto games, counting, reading etc but its not always necessarily planned in the day, but just happens :)

I'm wondering if you can be more specific about what you are wanting the nanny to do. Maybe that could then lead to creating a job description which you could send candidates, so they were clearer about your expectations.

Today I have done:
Played a game (lego sheep) for a little while - it develops taking turns, throwing a dice, playing by rules.
Made cakes - so involves numbers/measuring.
Went swimming - so suppose you could say that involves numerous things including science. Also good practice of taking clothes off, putting back on.
Had lunch at a cafe - learning to order food, find where forks/knives are, behaviour whilst eating in public, sitting reasonably still not charging around the place throwing food.
Car journey - lots to see out of the window, road signs for example. We talked a bit about the colour of leaves on the trees and why some are called evergreen.
Played on the Wii - coordination/fine motor skills, turn taking, rules of the game.
Played with Duplo - fine motor skills, construction skills, size/shape recognition, creative/imagination.

All sorts of things that a nanny does with the children in their care can be educational when you look closely at it.

So are you wanting a nanny who does that sort of thing, or something more specific - more structured perhaps?

I agree that at age 2 just playing and doing normal everyday things is how they learn-maybe you have got a bit caught up in this development idea when actually you just need a good nanny who interacts and plays with your child? Mine is talking to him all the time, I know he has learnt colours and numbers from her because she speaks a different language to me (intentionally) although I have never specifically discussed these aspects of his development with her. I find a tuned in adult, whether parent,relative or nanny, will come up with activities which are developmentally appropriate and which help the child to learn new skills when they are ready. If you think your current nanny could do it maybe you need to have meeting and discuss some priorities?

Chickdee & Nannynick- I think a list of suggested activities would be a great idea for potential candidates. I think as you have both also highlighted a very valid point being, you can teach development from the most simple of things, ie, car journeys etc.

Maybe I'm just overthinking things as we already do these types of activities on a daily basis. My son is behind in speech (only says a few words @ 23months) and lacks concentration and a few other little things I've noticed, but maybe I'll just let him develop at his own pace and stop reading all this information online & in books regarding toddler milestones - it's enough to do my head in as so much of it's contradictory so which one do you believe? We have no relatives in the UK & my parents are both deceased so it makes it hard to have a soundboard to keep myself in check. As a first time mum, I always question my gut instinct and it's easy to hit the panic button.... shame kids don't come with an instruction guide. I appreciate your advice. Thanks.

Keep saying to yourself - every child is an individual and will develop at a different rate, will have different likes and dislikes, have varying interests and a different outlook on life.

As long as he understands quite a lot of words and makes some effort to copy sounds, try out different sounds, then I wouldn't worry at this stage. Wait another year, it's amazing how they change between 2 and 3.
He needs the opportunity to be able to listen to speech - so having a nanny who talks to him, interacts with him is a good starting point.

Only saying a few words at 23 months is not always a problem. The average is exactly that, an average. Some children will speak earlier, others later. Mine says loads of words at 2 years, but I can barely understand them because he hardly uses any consonants!

If you're concerned about the hearing, you could take him to a GP to see if there is a medical reason for the lack of speech (eg glue ear). But otherwise, don't fret so much! At age 5 you can't tell the difference between the children who started talking at 18 months or those who didn't really talk until they were 2 1/2 years old.

Put the books away

DS's language exploded at 2 - was like a switch.

He has a great nanny - she does a lot with him like playgroups, art, park visits, swimming etc. The only structures thing he does is music class once a week. He learns so much from every day activities - letting him find his way seems to work best. Eg gardening is one of his favourite things and he likes to help me "wash up".

So try and find a nanny you click with who can offer variety - structured learning will come later!