Taking on a nanny: help with a couple of questions to those in the know

[Screwballmuppet]

I'm currently looking for a nanny fort he first time and though have done a bit of research on the do's and dont's, I'm still non the wiser on a few details. Please can anyone offer any advice or answers on the following things (please excuse my naievity on these things)

We've interviewed one nanny in particular we like and she's vegatarian though has said it doesn't bother her to prepare and cook meat.
Is there an arangement for the nannies meals? We assumed and are happy with a nanny preparing meals for self simulataneously with the kids. But the vegatarian thing has raised a few questions with us:
With being vegatarian, we would need to buy food which is okay for vegatarians...this may add extra expense to the shopping, do we just take on that possible expense or is it reaonable to negotiate something with the nanny?
then I got to thinking you could get someone who eats loads and how would that work, do you agree something regarding food?
(I am about this as I feel really stingy asking this)

Were going to use the company nannytax for the first year as it pays for itself with the tax return. Does anybody know if mileage costs for the nanny are worked through them also or is this a seperate thing and if so what is a reasonable price per mile to pay?
I've seen something about 40p per mile, but it was vague if this is a set thing

Any answers on the above would be much appreciated.

1. I ensure that there is sufficient "normal"food for our nanny to have at lunch time - bread for sandwiches, cheese, eggs, sometimes potatoes for baking - basically the sort of thing that I would have if I were at home. Sometimes she eats with the children exactly what they are eating, sometimes she gives them something different but sits down and has a sandwich at the same time as them, sometimes she just makes something for them and then eats when they are napping (sort of depends what her day is going to be like - whether she is babysitting, whether she is going out straight from work or going to the gym etc. If she wants something fancier than what is available, she buys it herself.

Not sure re nannytax, but suggest you phone or check their website - I use them and they are pretty helpful, I find.

If she is going to be live in, don't employ someone who eats radically differently from you. If it's just a sandwich at lunchtime, eggs, cheese, tomato, salady stuff should be OK (and not add greatly to the food bill, unless she only eats organic radicchio).

I cook and freeze most of the girls' food myself and then it just gets reheated (I hope - one nanny used to give them cold stew) by the nanny.

That makes perfect sense.

Do you plan your childrens meals in advance as in writing them down so nanny knows what to give them? or do you leave it up to what the kids want on the day?
Tanzie - does it take you much time to prepare and freeze you daughters food in advance? I used to do it when kids were babies and it seemed endless but worth it at the time. They are both fussy eaters now so tend to give them what they want after negotiation with them.

I meant give them what they want on the day within in reason.

I am a nanny and i tend to just have a sandwich at lunchtime or something else if i am feeding it to the children. I don't expect anything special bought at all.

Petrol costs are not worked out by nannytax as far as i know - well they weren't when my employers used them a few years ago. They just used to work it out and give me cash - which i think a lot of people do.

In my current position (soon to end) I have lunch with baby using whatever is available.

I take delivery of the internet shop and have access to the online Tesco account to add anything I want. I guess that this is because I am trusted not to abuse this situation. I rarely add any extras, apart from sparkling water instead of still!

I always double check if there is something I fancy adding but that isn't on the usual list.

I very often buy stuff out and I either pay for me and the baby or I take money from the kitty for the baby. It depends if eating out is part of the day's schedule - like when we travel to music. A lot of nannies will take money from the kitty for their and their charge's lunch. There is nothing wrong with this IMO. However, some people will always take all that is offered (and more) and others are more modest. What works for you will depend on you as an individual. People who insist on paying for everything are just as annoying on those who scoop up every freebie going!

On the car cost front - my wages are divided so that I get a monthly taxable wage in my account at the end of every month and then a cash payment of £100 weekly for 'making available the use of my vehicle' in line with my duties as nanny. In reality of course, this is more than it costs me to do this but it is tax efficient for both parties, iyswim.

I think what is really key is that you don't find yourself tolerating or agreeing to anything you are not happy with or are unsure about. Both nannies and parents need to be assertive and communicative about their needs in order to have a succesful profesional relationship.

Best of Luck.

Im a nanny daily and eat all my meals with the children when on duty. So in term time i eat lunch and dinner, and in the holidays i eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with them. I ALWAYS eat exactly what the children eat, but then they are good eaters and eat very 'grown up' food. (I refuse to feed "kids crap" as i call it)

I do the food shopping for me and the kids once a week and the mum refunds my expenses (tho in the new year we plan to share an online ocado order and she will top up from M&S)

Im quite fussy in the meat i eat (i was veggy for 7 years) and will ONLY eat chicken that is AT LEAST free range (normally organic) and the same with eggs etc and i refuse battery pork (i pork made ourside the uk.

Luckily my boss and i share the same opinions (tho she is actually veggy) and she will only purchase organic meat etc so it isnt a problem.

IF i were to go veggy (which ive been seriously thinking of doing tho at the moment decided against) i would not expect her to provide extra veggy stuff for me, tho the reality would be im sure that the children would get much more of a vegetarian diet.... no ham on (home made) pizza or bacon in pasta veg and cheese bake etc.

Also the one and only thing my boss buys extra for me is lady grey tea and real organic butter (cause i wont use anything else to cook!)

If your nanny is a live in then she should be able to eat all the meals shes normally eat, but i think daily nannies should only 'expect' lunch, in which case if you have bread, jacket potatoes, cheese, eggs, beans, salad etc that should be fine!

Also i wouldnt think it would be unreasonable for you to get meat sauages and veggy sausages for a veggy nanny for example, so she can eat sausages with the kids, tho if they are having lamb chops then maybe its best if nanny eats at home! maybe also a batch of veggy mince so if they are having spag bol / pasta bake etc nanny can have the same in veggy..... she could make a big batch and freeze it in single portions!

As for petrol 40p per mile is the norm... you basicaly pay your nanny her salary tax and NI through nanny tax (or howver you want to do it) and give her the cash / cheque at the end of week / month to cover expenses including petrol. Given thats it is essentially reimbursing expenses there is no tax to worry about on it.

the point about the 40p per mile figure is that it is the figure set by the revenue which they will accept as being a reasonable amount for petrol, insurance, depreciation etc and won't regard as a taxable expense. ie you can pay 40p per mile or less, but if you pay more than 40p per mile it may be taxed as a taxable benefit unless you can show that is shouldn't be (eg that she is driving a ferrari and the depreciation etc makes a figure of over 40p reimbursement and not benefit).

does that make sense?!

I thought being veggie was cheaper than being a meat eater?

I would like a nanny to eat the same as the kids - but I would be happy for ds to have a veggie lunch (he goes to a veggie pre school). If she was live in, then I'm not sure - because I like everyone to have the same meal.

I think the main cost thing would be if she is an organic/freerange type person and you are not.

My brother is vegan and when he comes to stay we either eat vegan, or he just doesn't take a chop and we have substantial veggie like cauliflower soy (like cauliflower cheese, but crucially without the cheese or milk) or roasted veggies.

Screwballmuppet,
I think the food arrangement can be set by you. Some of your options are 1- charge the nanny with buying the food, planning the meals, and serving them to the kids each week. You can give her a weekly budget for this or you can give her a credit card with which to do this shopping. 2- Put up a list in the kitchen and ask nanny to add to it what ever she wants for her and the kids. Then you buy it each week. 3- You buy the food each week and give her some guidelines as to what you expect her to cook (i.e they eat fish twice a week, and no cookies before lunch or whatever your dietary requirements are)

I do the weekly shop on line. I have a list in the kitchen. I make it known that I order on Sundays for Wed. delivery. I also have a list of "house Rules" which include eating guidelines (2 yr old eats salmon twice a week, eggs for breakfast twice a week, a least one fruit and at least one veg every day, etc.)

Oh, and I have to repeatedly remind people in my house (nanny and DH alike) to put something on the list if they use it up, and if they don't put it on the list, not to expect it to show up on the Ocado truck on Wednesday. Typical conversation in my house:

DH or nanny: Did we get x?
Uwila: Don't think so. Was it on the list?
DH or nanny: I don't know.
Uwila: Well, that why it isn't here.

My nanny brings her own packed lunch. I didn't ask her to, she just didn't fancy macaroni cheese every day which is what the kids get.

Personally I don't think it would be reasonable NOT to buy veggie food for her. Vegetarian food doesn't need to cost any more than any other sort of food.

About what to do if she eats a lot - I would think unless she is bulimic or something this is not going to cause a real problem. I don't want to sound rude, but if it is making you feel worried about the nanny possibly eating more food than you would like, perhaps you are not quite ready to welcome someone into your home as what is practically another member of the family. Hope this doesn't offend you, but having a nanny can be a challenging situation, and if you feel uncomfortable sharing your food with someone else, maybe this is not the best form of childcare for you.

Hope it all works out.

SBM i think you need to make the last step towards employing someone in such an intimate capacity. she will be an employee, she will also be a member of the family and you will have effectively delegated your parenting to her. so really worrying about what she will eat is fairly trivial in the scheme of things (sorry to be blunt). If you do decide to take her on then I think you should ask her what she wants to do about eating, whether she would rather choose the childrens' meals daily or have more specific instructions in advance etc. I have never employed a nanny but I have employed lots of people over the years and the one thing I have learned is to resist the urge to micromanage. If you show you have trust and confidence in her over trivial things like what to have for lunch then it will make her feel more in control and happier and less inclined to leave/mess you around on other stuff. Good will - that's the important thing. not the increased costs of buying chickpeas or whatever those weirdy veggies eat

Is your nanny live out? assuming she is - on the food - I would ask the nanny how this has worked at her previous jobs - depending on the hours most live out nannies would expect lunch and maybe breakfast - which I would recommend you write into the contract. If just dealing with breakfast and lunch I would assume she would be able to find stuff from your normal shopping - cheese, eggs, baked beans, salad, jacket pots, pasta, hummous etc. And I think a reasonable nanny would be happy with this. TBH if you ask her and she reels off a list of very specific veggie foods that non veggies would not normally have in the house that she'd expect you to have in for her that would raise alarm bells for me - to my mind it would be a little bit indicative of someone not prepared to compromise/manage/fit in and that would worry me. Rthe petrol - the AA do a mileage guide which is useful as it gives a breakdown - eg cost per mile of petrol, wear and tear, insurance, tax etc etc. We agreed to pay any additional insurance on account of nanny using car for work, plus petrol and wear and tear but didn;t include the cost per mile of the tax - possibly a bit stingey of us! but was desperately trying to at least break even on going to work! I believe it's a taxable perk so strictly speaking it should probably be declared in some way...nanny tax shoudl advise

Using your own car for work is NOT a taxable perk, and in the same way that inland rev suggest you should be refunded 40p per mile for work based driving, you are refunded expenses such as toddler group / zoo / swimming etc.

(if you get OVER 40p per mile (for the first 10,000 miles then a bit less for subsequent miles) then it becomes taxable tho)

Having a car provided that you can use ourtside working hours is a taxable perk but using your own car and being paid mileage is NOT!

As for extra cost of insurance (nannies need buisness class 1) it costs me about £3 extra a year! i wouldnt even dream of asking for those 'few pennies'! (general consences seems that it costs any thing from £0 extra to about £20 so it really is NOT a lot!)

The 40p a mile rule by the Inland Revenue has been around for ages. It has not increased at all despite the obvious increase in costs.

Screwballmuppet - I tend to cook in large batches. Huges vats of chicken casserole, shepherd's pie, lasagne, goulash, fish pie, soups etc and have several things on the go at the same time when cooking, so can fill up the freezer by cooking over a couple of evenings a month. I have a big slow cooker, which is great, chuck everything in either the night before or in the morning and it sees to itself all day.

On the nanny's diet, if she is live out, I agree that what you have in the house normally should suit her for lunchtimes. We had a very, very faddy live-in nanny who used to drive me mad. She wouldn't say if she was eating with us until that evening, when she had sniffed the food, demanded to know what it was and what was in it. I gave her the alternative of eating with the children, but she didn't much like what they ate either and used to raid the fridge at night. I'd come down in the morning and she'd have scoffed half a loaf of bread (so not enough for sandwiches), all the ham, all the salami, all the biscuits and drunk all the milk. I asked her to have some consideration for others - what did she think the girls were going to have for breakfast and for their packed lunch? The second time it happened, I told her she had to get down to the supermarket, replace what she had eaten (yes, I did give her money), make the packed lunches and take them into school for the girls before 1100. The third time, I suggested she buy her own food, which she did - microwaveable burgers, instant mash and frosties. She was about a size 10 when she came to work for us, and a year later had ballooned into a large size 14.

She was a nice girl, and great with the children, but phenomenally spoilt and inconsiderate.

calm down nannyL! I only said I thought it was a taxable perk - and if it's over 40p a mile it is!

Thanks everyone each post! has helped clear my thoughts.
The nanny we really like is coming again today so my eldest can meet her and we can ask the things we forgot to the first time round and vice versa. Fingers crossed.

Any more advice or hints and tips would be much appreciated for after the hiring.

Screwballmuppet, I wanted to add that while I am a dedicated meat eater I would rather my nanny was slipping my kids extra veggies than extra chocolate or crap tesco value sausages (don't even want to know what's in those). So if she is a veggie because she is very health conscious, then this might serve to be a good thing.

Hiya,
I have a list of interview questions I tend to ask nanny candidates. Do you want it? I also have a sample contract if you are interested.

CAT me if you are interested.

Please I would be very grateful. My email address is [email protected].

A bit too hasty. Never read all of your post uwilalala about CAT ing
Not sue how cat works but if you wouldn't mind emailing me interview questions instead it would be much appreciated.