Childminders Club: Have i got it totally wrong???

[nzshar]

Ok i am getting more and more worried that i am too laid back as a person/parent to be a childminder and that i will never get parents wanting me.
I allow ds to have things like tinned spaghetti/crisps/chocolate ocassionally. Having said that i balance it with lots of fresh fruit, veges etc and dont have any puddings apart from fruit and fromage frais.
I allow him to watch TV/DVD prob 2/3 hours a day usually an hour of that is unsupervised while i cook.
I allow hime to explore cupboards/objects eg coathangers supervised.
But from what i read on here and the over zealous Ofsted woman ....though i expected that had enough experience of them ....then i am walking a very thin line of being an appropriate person and having an appropriate environment.
And before you all ask no i am not really will to dramatically change our families behaviour.
I feel comfortable in muyself that i am able to keep my child and mindees happy, safe and healthy but i worry that no one else will hold the same philosophy as me and i will never have mindees at all.
Sorry just needed to vent

I think the key is in what you said : finding other parents with a similar philosophy as you. Personally, I think this works best as the children fit in better. However, when you first start it can be difficult getting the first children, so you might not be able to be choosy.

I've been minding for just over 2 years and have found that I definitely cannot do things the same way when I have mindees here, for all sorts of reasons. For example, costs. There's no point in giving mindees lots of treats, chocolate etc. if it means you end up earning next to nothing. Benefits of giving healthy foods to me are that they are cheaper, can form an activity for the child etc. Obviously, it is also healthier for the child. Also, depending on the mindee I might have to closely supervise all / most of the time. (Therefore, no internet surfing through the day !) For example, I had one mindee who at 8 was the oldest child I looked after. However, he had never been told NO and was the hardest work of any of the 6 mindees on my books at that time. I could not leave him alone with the younger children as he would hurt someone and then say it was an accident. It took a lot of hard work and explaining before I could trust him. In fact, I'd just about got there with him when he left.

The thing I'm finding hard at the moment is not being able to sleep during the day when my baby sleeps. If it was my own toddler, I'd take us all off to bed. Obviously, I can't do this with my mindee. So if I've had a bad night with the baby, tough.

There are lots of pluses to minding too. But I wouldn't say it was an easy job.

FL.

ahhhh thanks FoxyLoxy1 for that ... just needed to sound off i guess.

Yeah i know how hard it can be dealing with other peoples children at times....worked in nurseries for 13 years ....though im sure childminding has different ways of breaking the 'spirit' as such.

As for the food .....actually most of my son's treats are in the evening with daddy or during the weekend when his big brother comes so it wont really effect it.

I feel for you and the bad nights dunno how ya do it. I am very very lucky my 18 month old has slept through since 6 months except for the odd hiccup when teething or ill

nzshar - don't worry, I'm probably too laid back too! I'm very much of the "Anything for an Easy Life" Brigade (within reason, of course). However, that doesn't mean that the children run riot, eat what they like and trash the house (well, actually, yes - they do trash the house ...)

Parents send their children's meals as I don't want to have to supply them myself. I am fully-booked with every age range, and really don't have time for cooking (and don't want my non-working hours used for child-related work). In the ideal world, parents send relatively healthy food, but not always. I endeavour to supply healthy snacks, but the schoolchildren sometimes have chocolate HobNobs!!

I don't see a problem in exploring cupboards so long as you don't mind them pulling out what's in them, and so long as it isn't bleach! My mindees love to take all the base cushions off the settees, tip all the toy boxes out, put the buggy blankets over the top, and chuck a few used kitchen rolls and cereal boxes in for good measure - parents arrive and think we've had a tornado.

I don't think you can be ultra-strict with other people's children - you need to keep a check on inappropriate behaviour, and you may need to be a bit assertive occasionally (or post on mumsnet for advice!), but you need to have a sense of humour, lots of patience, and you need to have fun.

LOL ThePrisoner how did i guess you would post something like that.

From what i have read of your other posts then yes i can see that you are more laid back than most ......that is meant as a compliment

Thanks for the reassurance

Parenting and childminding are two different things aren't they.

I think most of us are laid back parents and often find our own children sticking coathangers up their noses and attempting to escape out the cat flap. But when you are in charge of other people's children, naturally you are going to be more conscious of what they get up to, partly because you don't know them as well as you do your own child to know how far they will go with things and because its your job you will be organising more activities and things to stimulate them with.

I'm never sure how to take it when current minding parents say to other prospective minding parents (they sometimes meet if I have someone here and a parent arrives to collect) - "God, you're not thinking of sending your child here are you? She's completely bonkers. Still, perhaps you are desperate!"

I'm really sensible when OFSTED visit, and I dust and everything!

nzshar - all my cupboards bar the one under the sink (the one that has the bleach etc in it) are lock free and my ds gets the pots, pans and spoons out every day and plays with them, not to mention the cheese graters (don't put your fingers in the cheese, Louise - an alligrater might bite it! From the book 'Don't Put Your Finger in the Jelly Nelly' by Nick Sharratt)

You know your ds and personally, if I were after a childminder, I would want someone like you, ie someone who allows children to be children within the realms of obvious safety! It's refreshing to know that there are other mothers out there who do the same as I do!!

ThePrisoner - absolutley spot on! You're my kind of childminder!

Trouble is, tuppenceworth, the parents write that sort of thing on cards/references etc. that I keep to show OFSTED!!! (Not the bit about dusting, that's a secret).

I've not actually had experience of childminders yet but when I do I certainly wouldn't begrudge them for letting my ds play in the way that children play! I'm just sorry that other parents don't feel the same way.

Im so glad to see that Im not the only one whos house looks like a bomb hit it while the mindees are in, in fact it looks like that all the tme apart from first thing in the morning/ last thing at night. I found quite a lot of people expect an immaculate environment while expecting their children to be able to do what they want make what they want etc. (I never took any of those parents on). I want the children to feel at home and not have to sit like statues not allowed to do anything or make a mess. ( I know a few minders who dont let the mindees make a mess or pick their own activities, and the only excerise they get is school runs and doing the cms own weekly shopping/ christmas shopping/ dentist etc.)If parents werent happy then they wouldnt come so Im going to stick to my messy house, too much tv, taking them out with lunch on their clothes. And they all play at zoos and tig and I dont know what bouncing over the furniture and up and down the stairs. But their happy so I think thats one of the most important things.

oops meant to add that I agrre with what everyone else already said.

nzshar - Agree with everyone too

I will let you into a little secret - when my kids were young, I often had the tv on, (only suitable stuff though) not that they were glued to it but more for background noise if you like, even when we were busy chatting or into our activities etc. During meals I nearly always put the tv on in kitchen for them now how bad is that? they sat to the table though for duration of foodtime & ate their food so it was worth it

On the food front; I was brought up on egg and chips, didn't eat fruit and little veg 'it didn't do me any harm' but when Ds1 born learnt a bit about nutrition - occasionally gave baby food from jars - when Ds2 was about 1.5 he clearly started developing allergies to some foods so have always had to be extra careful with additives and artificial colourings, skins of some fruits etc I guess that is why I am so inflexible about parents who ask me to provide 'unhealthy' food!

As for being laid back - I guess I am also quite laid back - if mindees want to make tents out of their little chairs with blankets & sheets & use the cushions as stepping stones or an assault course then this is what they do & often - I love to see mindees having fun and being children.