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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM Club - How do you handle 'bad' behaviour?

10 replies

MaryPoppinsMagic · 03/10/2011 19:38

I had my first day as a childminder today it was an experience which i enjoyed but one of my mindees was very trying today, she kept throwing toys across the room at windows + the tv, smacking my DD and then climbing on top of the kids kitchen table i have.

Through all this i kept saying No in a firm but kind voice, she wouldn't listen to me. Then she pushed my DD over in the garden and DD got a big cut on the back of her leg at this point i put the child on a one minute time out and after that she was good as gold and did as i said for the rest of the day.

How else could i have handled this? The parent was happy that i used time out as it is consistent with what she does at home

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lizzie83 · 03/10/2011 19:44

Just keep up the time out as it seems to suit everyone concerned. As a nanny for the past 10 years I found it to really work. Hope this helps.

HSMM · 03/10/2011 20:45

Yes. Short time out sounds good to me.

squinker45 · 03/10/2011 22:18

I would have gone in quicker with the time out if that's a success at home - sounds like she was seeing how far she has to push you before you crack. It's great you have found something that works though - I have one on whom nothing seems to... shame he's mine lol

thebody · 03/10/2011 22:28

i would have got in quicker as well, you are the confident, sensible and kind role model here, so be it.

she is pushing the boundaries and seeing how much she can get away with,kids like boundaries, show her some and be firm, she will be all the more settled and happy with them.

you did the right thing, well done.

ellmum · 03/10/2011 23:56

How old is she, OP?

Original poster

MaryPoppinsMagic · 04/10/2011 06:47

She is 20 months. 2 at the end of november.

I think she was definitely pushing my boundaries to see how far I could go.

the only problem is the other children who can distract from the punishment.

OP posts:

Original poster

MaryPoppinsMagic · 04/10/2011 06:47

She is 20 months. 2 at the end of november.

I think she was definitely pushing my boundaries to see how far I could go.

the only problem is the other children who can distract from the punishment.

OP posts:

leeloo1 · 04/10/2011 11:54

If she was climbing something she shouldn't then I'd get her down with a firm 'no' then in a softer tone 'we don't climb that! Its not safe'. If she carried on trying I'd lift her down and hold her on my knee - repeating the mantra above. I'd let her go after a minute (at the end of the minute I'd try to distract her with something else) and hopefully she'd have forgotten about it. If she kept trying to climb I'd keep holding her still for a minute (as a time out) until she realised it was quite dull and more fun to play with something else. I'd then give lots of praise the second she played with anything correctly. :)

Good luck.

ellmum · 04/10/2011 14:59

Does time out work at this age? My DD is around that age - bit older - and it's not occurred to me that she might understand time out as a consequence of continuing behaviour I don't want her to carry on with (usually dangerous things, I don't think she's old enough to be 'bad' or 'naughty'). Is it more like a distraction than a punishment? DD doesn't go to nursery or CM (though I would love her to eventually) so I need to know what sort of things will be expected of her/us when she does go. In the circs of your OP I'd have just distracted her, but I think maybe that's not the way to go, judging by the responses here.

leeloo1 · 05/10/2011 15:49

ellmum - it depends on the child and their level of understanding. Also it can be different in a childcare setting, where you can't devote all your time to distracting 1 child.

I read about the holding-time-out technique on here when my DS was a lot younger - and at about 12/18 mths(?) he went through a phase of regularly pulling all the cds of the rack. I'd say a firm 'no' and distract but later/the next day he'd do it all again. So for a couple of times I held him still on my knee whilst I put them all back again. He clearly wasn't impressed, but I think he definitely did understand that it was a consequence as he stopped doing it.

I'd agree little children aren't really 'bad' or 'naughty' (I prefer to ask if/tell them they are making good/bad choices - as its analysing/commenting on the behaviour, not the child) but they are old enough to work out what gets a reaction and they definitely need to know what acceptable boundaries are.

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