Please can you help me settle my 11 month old with his childminder?

[levantine]

I go back to work on Tuesday. When I settled in DS1 with his childminder (who has moved away, unfortunately) he met her twice with me, did one short session on his own and away he went. He was fine - also at 11 months.

DS2 has met his childminder I think three times with me, did an hour with her on Thursday and cried the whole time and I am going to leave him for a couple of hours on Monday. Then a full day on Tuesday.

It feels all wrong to me this time, DS2 is far far more clingy than DS1 ever was, and I hate the thought of leaving him for a whole day. I don't think he particularly likes her tbh. I don't have any worries about her myself, she was recommended by our children's centre and looks after another boy of about one who is clearly happy and settled there.

What can I do to make it easier for all of us?

The best thing you can do is give him a quick kiss and cuddle at drop off, and then leave. Then it's a case of giving it a bit of time, once he's used to the new routine and the CM then he'll be fine. It'll be far harder (on everyone) if you spend ages trying to settle him before you go :)

yes, drop and run

he will settle, it just takes time, might be a few more sessions but hang on in there

oh and the crying at separation - I've got mindees that cry piteously then as SOON as the parent is gone they are mentally rubbing their hands and going right, what's on today then, oooh look, the paints are out

Can also second this - I have one parent who stays saying goodbye hundreds of times and trying to soothe, which just makes child more hysterical. I have another who just drops off in seconds and the difference is amazing

def drop and go I literally am there a max of 3mins when I drop off - when I collect I tend to have a little chat with childminder then so am there a bit longer at collection

My little one is almost 13mths and been at childminder nearly 4mths now and goes 3 days a week. First week I managed to leave work 2hrs early each day so he only went for 7hrs rather than 9hrs (obv I paid for 9hrs).

I would prob say its only been the last 3wks we dont have any tears when leaving and the past 7-8wks where he sometimes cried/sometimes didnt but always settled quickly.

He also starts nursery in 2wks one day a wk and did his first 1hr settling in on Friday on his own cried when I left and didnt even realise I was there when collected too busy playing. He has another 1hr and 2 lots 2hrs settling before he starts.

Good luck

Thank you everyone for your advice

What is really worrying me is that I think I have stepped over the fact that DS2 hasn't really warmed to her. I just don't think he feels comfortable with her and I am trying to distinguish between my gut instinct that this isn't right for him and any worry I would have leaving him anyway as he is very attached to me (as are all 11 month olds)

Do you think that some cms just aren't the right fit for some children?

He needs to bond with her, which can take time but only happens when you aren't there. He hasn't beenleft with her long enough for this to happen yet if it's only been once for an hour