What would your gut feel about this CM be?

[mankymink]

I've recently been to see a few CMs whom I got into contact with via the childcare.co.uk website. All were lovely. One lady lives a car drive away and although she was great I would prefer someone closer by as I don't drive. The second lady was fantastic in terms of personality, interaction with my son and I just found her really professional. The only downside is, again, distance (she is within walking distance, but it's almost 20 minutes). The third lady was perfect as she lives a 5-10 min walk away, was nice, good with my son and says she'll even pick him up each morning and drop him off each evening, which is perfect. Also her weekly rate is the cheapest of the 3.

I asked for a recommendation from a friend who lives near 3rd lady on the off chance she knew her. She did, and said she knew a child who went there in the past. She says "she's not the most amazing childminder but she's okay, I know the child looked forward to going there each day."

So I casually mentioned my friend (but not her comments) when I met 3rd lady and she said "oh yes, I know her" and much smiling and nodding.

So... I said I would make a decision on the weekend and get back to each lady on Monday (yesterday), however when I went to contact 3rd lady via the childcare website it said her profile was no longer available as she had closed her account. I thought it was a bit bizarre, and although I did have her number in my phone I thought I would leave it, as maybe she'd decided not to childmind after all, or maybe I had done something to offend her

Anyway, cut to this morning, I get a phone call and it is her, calling to see if I'd made a decision yet! In a way I was glad to hear from her but I did mention that I went on to her profile and it said her account had been closed. She apologised profusely and said it must just be that her subscription is up and they've not renewed her profile. Hmmmm, I mean I really like her and she would be soooooo handy, but should I be smelling a rat, for any of the reasons mentioned above? Any advice appreciated - sorry for long post!

Thanks very much Richard - have received it and appreciate your help.

nanny as for the initial visit to my home - CM said she would prefer to do this as not only did she think it would be more comfortable for DS but also she has also had some of the house freshly painted with gloss paint, so she wanted to be extra careful (DS is 7 months).

I have arranged to go to her house tomorrow for a little while with DS then (given everything's ok) leave him there for an hour or so. The friend I mentioned in the OP (who knew one of her past charges) said that this child was only minded by CM for a few months and ended up with head lice. Would I be right to give the benefit of the doubt on that one, though? Is that even a risk for a baby?

Also the CM did say that her husband works in the catering industry and my friend added that he works nightshifts, so may be sleeping in the house during the day! How would a CM work around a nightshifter in the house, is it possible?

Sorry if the headlice question sounded stupid - DS is still pretty bald at 7 months but I know nothing about lice/nits! Would this be due to questionable cleanliness?

You catch headlice from other people/children - not a less than clean house. They can't survive very long not being on a scalp so as far as I know you wouldn't catch them from clothing/linen etc.

There's not much a childminder can do to prevent headlice - it's nothing to do with cleanliness at all.

If your friends child definitely caught them from another child at the chilinder's it's likely to be because another child had them, that's not really anyone's fault, especially the childminder as she's nit the one responsible for checking their hair. It could happen anywhere though if course it's more likely when they're mixing with other children- especially school age children.

I'm sure babies can get headlice, but they don't seem to catch them easy, possibly because they've got less hair? Lol they're also less likely to have their hair close to another childs hair.

That's ok - the headlice thing isn't as much of a deterrent for me as I said in post above, it is "just one of those things".

The husband on nightshift who sleeps during the day while DS is there is more of a concern (DS is pretty content, although like any baby he has his moments, especially when he's teething).

If the CM has a schedule to fit around husband's sleeping patterns eg. taking DS out in the mornings for walks/toddler groups, then that's ok.

Headlice wouldn't be a major issue, it's common amongst children especially as they get older - the more contact a child has with other children, the more things they pick up off each other, thus when a child starts group childcare they often become ill as their immune system tries to cope with things it has not had to deal with before.

The partner working night shifts might be an issue, though if she has been childminding a long time I expect her partner is used to sleeping through noise.

Fresh paint and a baby, yes I can see why they would come to see you at your home.

What about other minded children, how much have you been told about the ages of the other children in her care? Have you been offered the chance to speak with other parents who already use her service?

Hi nanny - she has 2 teenagers (a boy and a girl) at school each day and she has another boy in her care who is 3.

Arrange to visit at a time when the 3 year old is there. That might help, as that child could be spending quite a lot of time with your DS so you probably want to meet them if you can. Also means you visit at a time when the CM has a child in their care, so you can see how they deal with you, your DS plus the demands of a 3 year old all at the same time.

Will do - thanks nanny. I appreciate all your advice. I don't have any family over here in the UK for support and although I do have friends with young ones they all live so far away, so could not recommend a local CM.

The friend in my OP is my DP's friend's wife, although she's local I don't see her very often and she couldn't think of any CMs to recommend when we first asked.

But those things may well be irrelevant - I should have just done more homework before starting to look for a CM, doh! I will ask to see her registration properly tomorrow too, apart from seeing it in a folder I didn't exactly check it. I guess I just take it as read that these things will be up to date.

Are you in England (it helps to know). If so, then when you have agreed a contract with the childminder I am sure they won't mind you having their registration reference number, which you can look up on the Ofsted website and may then also give access to past inspection reports (though keep in mind that some childminders are very good at the childcare side of things and not so good at paperwork, so read inspection reports but look at the overall picture - do you like them, can you get on with them, does your DS like them, do you like their home, do you like the activities/outings on offer.

Trust your gut feeling, it can really help as your subconscious mind can help to reassure you that everything is fine, or if there is something of concern.

Registration certificate does not have an expiry date on, least mine doesn't. However other certificates will, such as First Aid - so ask to see that certificate. First Aid should be redone every 3 years. As a parent yourself you should consider doing First Aid training, so you can cope better if your DS needs immediate help such as if he starts chocking, cuts himself badly. St Johns and Red Cross run courses for parents, as do some SureStart centres.

I agree with the advice of visiting the cm's house when her 3yr old mindee is there. See how she interects with the 3 yr old and your ds. Ask the cm if you could ask the current parent for a reference if she doesn't already have any feedback in her file. Did you see the other cms in their own homes?

The profile being removed wouldn't bother me. It's only an advertising service afterall and they may just have decided to remove their profile if they weren't getting much value for money from paying for their account (for example they may feel advertising locally (flies, cards, postcards, brochures, posters, etc) will get more feedback from potential customers, than a website where parents have to register and pay to get in contact. I believe you have to pay to send and receive messages?? Apologies if I am wrong!

WhoWho - the profile thing I've checked and there is a reasonable explanation for it, so it's fine.

Nanny is the reg number something I'll need to get anyway, for the tax office?

I am in Scotland. My gut feel is that she is a nice CM trying to make a living and (after having thought about it) I've been given info by a third party which isn't even based on anything seen firsthand. I admit it did put doubt in my mind but I'm sure that was just be me being precious (PFB and all that).

The outcome from tomorrow's visit will certainly sway it, as I'll be armed with better questions, ones I really should have prepared the first time round.

Thanks for all your help - I'm sure I'll bore you with how it went :)

I wouldn't be happy with childcare.co.uk telling people why my profile had been suspended. Surely that's between childcare.co.uk and the childcarer?

If the OP wanted to know why, the person who should be telling her should be the CM.

I'd be peeved at childcare.co.uk telling parents why I'm not subscribing anymore. It's an advert, none of anyone's business why you don't use it. Certainly shouldn't be being discussed by the advertiser and parent.

I'm not in Scotland so don't know fully how the system works there. However if you are claiming tax credits then you need to use Registered Childcare, so I would imagine that tax credits would need the childcarers registration number.

The regulator in Scotland is SCSWIS which has a provider search facility, select service type: child minding Then enter their full postcode and see if their name is listed.

Yes I wondered that about childcare.co.uk giving out information about the childcarer's account. Is it even allowed? Surely things like that would be covered under the data protection act?

Hope tomorrow's visit goes well for you mankymink.

We did not give any personal information about the account out. This member had a genuine concern and we were able to help them without revealing any personal or confidential information.