Au pair disaster!!!

[AliM7482]

Hello all
I'm hoping to harness the collective wisdom of Mumsnet as we are in a spot of bother.
We have lovely twins aged 3 and a baby of 9 months. I'm due back to work at the beginning of Sept and we found a brilliant au pair through aupairworld, who was due to arrive at the end of August to help us with the drop-offs and pick-ups every day (kids are with childminder during the day).
Brilliant? So I thought... we have just now heard from her that she's not coming, which leaves us in a total fix. I don't know why she has changed her mind and daresay we will never find out.
Meanwhile I can't delay my return any longer (have already pushed the date back twice for various reasons).
We have got back into the saddle again with Au pair world, have put an ad on Gumtree, registered with an agency, and also put profiles up on other sites like greataupair.
What else can we do? I am starting to feel very desperate about the whole situation. Please give me any ideas you may have!! We have done some interviews already but either the candidates speak NO English whatsoever, or they are just so odd that we can't consider them as realistic prospects.
ps in case it helps, I consider this to be a pretty "typical" au pair role, 25 hours per week plus 2 nights babysitting, daytime and weekends are free, we live in London and are offering £80 per week, own room with bathroom, TV, sofa, desk etc.
Please please help! Should we be looking elsewhere or offering something different?
Ali

Littlefish,
The impression i got was that yes the aupair would only be fully alone with the children for a short while, but would be looking after them the entire time, just with the parents in the house.

Kelly, you got it wrong then. The children are with a childminder during the day.

yep, you are right I missed the childminder bit - but is that just the twins. Also if the days and weekends are free, then presumably the aupair is looking after them in the evenings so I would assume that at some point the aupair will look after the baby even if the parents are there.
I really would advise emailing the other au-pair back and asking for honest feedback about why she turned down the job. If the advert looks as if there will be a baby to look after that could put people off, and some people might not like working in the evenings (although I would think that would be ideal for a part time student). What exactly are the hours? Have you thought about going through an agency, they should be able to weed out people who are unsuitable, and help you tweak you advertisement.

Kelly - the childminder has all three children.

Nowhere on this thread has the OP said anything like what you're suggesting she is planning on doing.

harriet, The OP says the days and weekends are free, and it is a 25 hour week. So I can only assume the hours are in the evening. If the days and weekends are free, when else is the aupair doing her 25 hours (the drop off and pick up will only take half an hour per day)?

She is helping in the morning get everyone out the door, and pick ups in the evening. AU pairs also do housekeeping. It's an entirely normal AP role.

harriet,
Yes but the OP says it is only about 15 mins or so each way for the drop offs pick ups so that is 2.5 hours per week, yet the role is 25 hours per week with the days and weekends free. So aside from the drop off/pick up, when are the 25 hours, if they are not in the day, not at the weekend then they must be in the evenings. And aupairs only do very light housework, but if the days and weekends are free then the aupair would not be doing housework then anyway, which takes us back to the question when are the actual hours.
If the OP is having problems with not getting enough good candidates applying, it could be because there is confusion about the hours required. If the OP has stated in her advertisement it is 25 hours with days and weekends free aside from drop/off pick up people would assume it is mainly an evening role, and that could be putting some people off from applying. It sounds like a normal aupair role, so long as the housework is light, so I cannot see any good reason why there are no good candidates applying, so it is worth looking over the advertisement again and perhaps going to an agency to get them to tweak it.

IT is now for the OP to reply on her behalf - we are just speculating.

In our house, though, I had to allocate close to two hours per day of our APs time in the morning, even though I was there. She was helping with breakfast, dressing etc. This quickly added up to ten hours.

If she's doing a similar thing at the end of the day - collecting at 5/half five from the childminders, with helping with baths and dinner, you're quickly at another two. So, it's easy to see how you get to the hours allocation.

I can't see at all how she would have loads of spare hours to find where she's imposing on this au pair. She only said the 'sole charge' was 15 miutes.

And incidentally, it's equally possible the au pair is put off by not having ENOUGH to do because the children are at the CMs. In my experience - although limited to three and a half au pairs - the au pair often feels they are up to more responsibility than the family may think it's appropriate for them to have.

I do not think she is imposing. I was just wondering if the drop offs were so quick when she would do the other hours, and was wondering if that was putting off potential aupairs. Like you say it sounds standard, the room sounds nice, it is odd she is not getting any decent candidates. I wonder if the OP got feedback from the other aupair.

I agree with Harrietthespook, I think the really good au pairs want more responsibility really to get on the nanny career ladder, and the non-nanny career path au pairs are scared of having twins, I think that although thejob description is clear here they might worry that the job is not quite as described and that it would involve more sole charge.

We had a qualified kindergarten teacher for 11 months as our au pair and I honestly think she was bored senseless as she had so little to do compared to the au pair friends she made here, as she only had the nursery run to do, not even the extra time involved in after school care. She was very nice and lovely with the children but clearly spent all day on the internet and eating junk food, so that's why I say I think she was bored.

If you want to find someone already in London, get on Facebook find the group au pair in London 2011 and put up an ad. There are loads already here who for one reason or another want a new family. This way you can meet them and do an interview face to face.