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Is this nanny going to work out? Advice please..

29 replies

MammyT · 15/08/2011 13:03

We have a nanny who has been with us some months. The hours are p/t but we pay 10 hrs extra for nanny duties in term time. We pay a good hourly wage, all declared and above board.

I'm not sure our nanny is working out. None of the problems are in themselves big issues, but all combined, I don't think she is the right person for us. She brings the kids for 'coffees' twice a week and doesn't even combine this with the playground or visiting friends. She buys them all types of tat - plastics bits and bobs for a quid or two and yet more bracelets/trinkets. I don't object to the money but now my kids are asking for things all the time when we're out. She seems to run around in our car on little errands (supposedly one-offs), goes to parks we don't know but can't tell me the names or where they are afterwards, is very unforthcoming when asked what the kids did/ate. Even though we're paying her to do nursery duties, only the basics are done and she won't do any kids' ironing if there is adult stuff in the pile (i.e. won't sort through).

That said, the kids seem to like her but don't actually spend much time doing things with her. I get the impression she lets them run around and play in the house but doesn't guide them much. They say she's "texting" - this may not obviously be true as kids are quite unreliable witnesses.

I had hoped that in time, other parents would allow p/dates in our house but there's no chance of that as she doesn't try to relate/talk to the parents.

We've been giving active feedback on all of the above, one at a time, and that particular thing is more or less sorted.. But it's a slow process. On paper, she had a lot of experience. She is not qualified though well educated. One of the references came back to me and was positive though said she's better with kids than parents.

Should we cut our losses or keep up with the active feedback? Has anyone else turned around an 'okay' nanny into a brilliant one? My husband's view is that the kids are happy so leave it.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Dozer · 15/08/2011 17:31

Even before the latest incident would say get rid, trust your instincts.

Also, kids are not necessarily the best judge of who is a good carer and may well be even happier with someone else.

candr · 15/08/2011 17:38

I have worked as a nanny and if the mum asks questions about what the children have done / eaten etc those questions should be answered. If you want her to take them to a certain park or eat a certain meal she should do it unless there is a reason for not doing it. She sounds like a bit of a slacker to me and should be doing the job as she enjoys interacting with children. There will be times they watch telly an should be encouraged to play by themselves but it sounds like you are being fobbed off a bit and need to put your foot down about your expectations which is a good time to introduce a new routine like a calender with activites / chores on it that you and she can decide together. This allows your and her running around jobs to be incorperated and no excuse for not remembering what happened during the day. Buying tat for the kids is a bit of an excuse for them to give her some space, a nice little treat every now and again is different - who is paying for them? It makes it hard for your DC to know different sets of rules about treats. If she doesn't change then find someone you are happy with as it will be better for your DC too.

MammyT · 15/08/2011 17:39

Yes, I think I'm definitely on a steep learning curve when it comes to nannies. We've had such positive experiences in the past but have struggled now that we're offering less than 40 hours..

Thanks everyone for the great input.

OP posts:
redglow · 15/08/2011 20:01

I agree with a lot of the others sit down and say whats wrong, then see if she changes. xaf I have been a nanny for over twenty years and very happy with what I get paid. Not all people that employ nannies have loads of money.

Why is she not doing the ironing? sounds a bit of a taker to me.

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