Shocked by this taking advantage of au pair!

[Tanzie]

We are going away for the weekend without children, and our au pair/mother's help has kindly offered to look after our two for the whole weekend. To get a feel of how much I should pay her for the weekend, I asked a friend who has an au pair, and regularly goes off for a week or weekend, leaving her 7 year old DD with her au pair, how much she pays. She told me that she never pays her au pair for babysitting in the evening (even at weekends) and never pays her extra when she goes away either. She also pays her under 100 euros a month less than my au pair (which is significantly less than the going rate) and contributes nothing towards the cost of her language classes or flights to and from her home country in the summer/at Christmas. She justified this by saying that she doesn't expect her au pair to work when she herself has a day off, so counts this as time off in lieu.

Am I just remarkably soft, or is she really taking the piss here? She goes away regularly for work and once left her DD with chicken pox for a week with the au pair while she went ski-ing.

And more to the point, why does this au pair stay?

your friend is most definitely taking the piss and she doesn't deserve her au-air IMO. I suppose the au pair stays either because she has a weird sense of duty/loyalty, or because she was desperate in the forst place and thinks all au pairs are treated like shit.Or maybe she is shagging your pal's partner - have you asked her why she treats her like a slave!????

She is so taking the piss.

But i am a firm believer in what goes around comes around...

An au pair is legally not sole charge and should only be doing up to 5 hours per day of house/children chores.

I've no idea but I'm very shocked at this and think your friend is taking the piss. Well, that's obviously how she manages to affords all these trips then!

No, you aren't soft, you are a decent person. Your friend isn't, unfortunately, at lesat in this respect.

When I said no idea, meant no idea about pay amounts etc. but I don't think you're soft, you're friend is just tight IMO!

Why would anyone want to have the person taking care of their children underpaid, and probably unhappy? Don't people want your kids spending their days with someone who's happy in their job? Gah.

Sounds outrageous. Either she doesn't know what the market packages are (does she socialise with other au pairs) or she feels she has other compensations - presumably she is n't on duty while their dd is at school, so has free time, and has a place to live, food provided etc - or she wouldn't stay. I assume she is living here and working legally.

Well, she knows what my au pair gets - over 100 euros a month more basic, plus around another hundred plus for babysitting. Friend's au pair is here legally, and isn't on duty while the daughter is at school, but works from 4.30-7.30 looking after her every night, plus does all the cleaning, washing, cooking and ironing.

Tamula - au pairs can be sole charge, but not for babies.

that's is terrible Where is the aupair from? not that it makes the slightest difference of course.

She's really taking the Micheal. She's treating her like a slave rather than an employee. Don't worry, your definetly not being soft.

I remember her from last time. She is horrid. You are not horrid. She is also utterly stupid if she thinks she can devalue the care of her kids in this way. You are not stupid.

And does Jo Malone really send out samples? How very fabulous.

Since she treats her daughter so badly (leaving her with c'pox for a week), it's hardly surprising that she treats the au pair like a slave!

OMG Tanzie. If you think it's bad, it must be.

That's awful, really awful. And IMO it contributes to general problems between au pairs and their host families where the au pair feels she is being taken advantage of and therefore does not do a good job. You get what you pay for. I haven't left my children overnight with our au pair (although I would as she's a star) but if I did she would be paid handsomely and gratefully for it.

Yes, Uwila, as you know I am troll bitch from hell employer so it must be bad. But I heard tonight that the au pair has been looking for "proper" jobs and has an interview for one next week.

MI - just ring up the nice ladies at Jo Malone and ask for samples and they will send you some. Some on bits of card, but some little sample sprays too. Have been wearing Pom Noir for a few days now, so quite big samples!

Our current AP came to us from German family, although this family were very pleasent .. really couldn,t care less it seems. After 18 months with them Our AP is now very resentful of the way they took advantage.

They went to Japan for 12 nights and left 3 children, 18months, 4,6 with AP she said it was not a problem at the time, I said 'I hope they paid you well' she said 'no nothing' she never had time to go to language school, baby satting 5 night out of 7 for no extra. if the whole family went on holiday they would leave her with little of no food.

this happend quite often. In her reference the German women said AP had Sole charge over night many times - but really this is taking the piss