I recently went back to work, we decided to employ an au pair to help with some childcare and light housework. We found a 27 year old through a friend, Ishe emailed me letting me know she had wanted to be an au pair and wanted to come to England, she was about to register with an agency over in Czech Rep (I can verify this). After asking her lots and lots of questions Itook up references. She said she had looked after on a regular basis 2 children of 2 work colleagues, both girls aged between 19 months and 2. I have 2 boys aged 3 (4 in Sept) and 14, my younger son has started pre-school so I wanted someone to be there when I am not. My new job allows me to work from home, every 2 weeks though I go to Europe for 2 days. I said to her that initially i would want her to do a little more, new job etc. We put together a detailed contract, outlining what she can expect from us, what we will provide, pay etc and what we expect from her. Helping the younger one to get dressed, have his breakfast, take to school, make his lunch, pick him up and make both boys and herself their evening meal. She has chosen to eat with them. She also does light housework which is focussed on the children - their washing/ironing, cleaning their bathroom, sweping/mopping the kitchen. If we run out of bread or milk to get some. She has been with us now for 4 weeks, I have been to Europe twice and have found myself on Sunday morning making 3 days worth of meals. Her cooking skills are very poor, I tried to show her how to cook pasta and rice, she disappeared half way through to text someone. We spoke to her last week to ask if there were any problems, she doesn't speak to us, if i cook and we all eat together she won't talk. She finishes, leaves the table and goes upstairs - no thank you nothing. She seems very uncomfortable with the children, she struggles to relate to the younger one. She has left our house 4 times, we live next to the beach and the weather has been great recently. We have invited her to lots of things, she would rather sit chatting on MSN. Her lack of enthusiasm is reflected in the effort she has put in at our house. My husband was working from home a few days ago, the au pair had collected the younger child from school at 1.30. He was playing and she sat with her English homework at the table, she said that he didn't want to go out may she would take him out one day next week - my husband wasn't too pleased. The children come first, they don't seem that bothered about her, all the other things we wanted get done but it is minimum effort - just like my 14 year old! She has a lovely double room, TV, internet, private bathroom. I said in the contract that we would provide breakfast, lunch and dinner, she eats loads and loads of food. She has 4 or 5 meals a day and sneakily takes packets of biscuits to her room. She has just registered to do a part time english course, about time. we are due to go on holiday in 2 weeks, which she knew. We were talking about it the other day and she slipped saying a man, not her boyfriend (our friend, they parted shortly before she arrived), is coming over for a week and staying with her. I have read many messages about visitors and although I really don't mind allowing the au pair to have visitors. I am a bit concerned that we won't be there, and we don't know this person. Please give me your thoughts/ideas/opinions....bear in mind we have already spoken to her about what we expect - a face of thunder appeared at certain points (usually to do with housework). We really get the impression that it is beneath her.