Chidminder's Club - Mindees coming earlier and earlier

[karen23]

The mum of my 2 mindees is a friend and being stupid I went against the advice of everyone and took on her children. Lots of people told me it would be difficult to have a proffesional relationship but I decided otherwise and now I'm having trouble.
She starts work at 8am but for the first week we agreed that she should come at 7.30 so she could settle the children and leave at 7.50. Once thay were settled she was going to drop them off at 7.45
Then when it was raining she would get a lift and was turning up at 7.20. Now she's turning up anytime between 7am and 10 past which means I'm giving them their breakfast and cleaning their teeth whilst she is there!!
Then this afternoon her boyfriend (I've met him twice) turned up to wait for her so he could give them all a lift home I felt a right idiot telling him he had to wait outside as I didn't know anything about it.
Sorry it's a bit long I just needed a bit of a rant

Rant away you are perfectly entitled

Karen, sit down with your friend over a coffee and explain that you really Can't deal with her coming over before 7:30 in the morning. Personally I'm like a zombie first thing, and would be all at sea if someone was at my door at 10 past 7. Surely you need time to get yourself ready for the day. Remind her about the contract terms (you did write a contract, didn't you?)

And remind her that under your professional terms, you CANNOT let the children go with anyone else unless she has told you to. After all "you wouldn't want me to be less careful with your children than I am with others, would you?"

I did write a contract with her it's up for renewal in the new year I was going to bring it up then but I cant cope with getting up at 6am anymore when realistically I could have an extra half hour in bed.

I've explained to her a few times about not letting the children go with anyone else she usually sends me a text telling me that her mum or dad (who I know anyway) are going to pick up the kids but it was so unexpected her boyfriend turning up. She's said she wont do it again

I need to stop justifying it all to myself and speak to her. She's coming for her lunch on friday so I'll do it then. I'll put aside some time to write a list and get ready for it.

What makes it worse is that if I don't have her kids she'll stop working as she won't leave her kids with anyone else.

I'm never going to have friends kids again. Ever.

it makes it difficult when looking after a friends children as sometimes they think that your close enough to mention if they over step the line whereas because you're close you step back from mentioning when they'v over stepped the line, talking is the best option, im sure its something thats happened without her noticing really and it wont cause too much bother to sort out!

hope all goes well!!!

I've minded children for friends and have often actually found it easier because they know all my pet hates and house rules already (don't arrive earlier than you should, try to pay on time, don't run around the house waving bars of chocolate etc). It means the parents are already scared of me!

The thing that I find harder is if, perhaps, the mum is ill and I offer to take children to school on a non-contracted day. I am offering this as a friend, as friends would do for each other, but I think it can often make the parents feel a bit awkward. I always make it clear that I have got my "friend" hat on.