Mindee very difficult sleeper!

[gardenpixies32]

I got some good advice with my previous post (thanks) that I thought maybe some light/advice/support could be shed on this problem that is slowly driving me mad!

I have 3 under two, they are 12, 13 and 14 months. 2 are brilliant sleepers and are happy to be put in the travel cot awake and will go to sleep on their own. These 2 sleep for an hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. I am so happy they are such easy babies when it comes to sleep.

However, this is where I am really struggling and just want to pull my hair out some days...The other baby, who is 13 months is not a good sleeper at all. He has to be rocked to sleep or he will not sleep. I have tried so many things and all are very difficult! I know rock him in the pram in the lounge once the other two are in their travel cots. It has taken him up to an hour on many occasions to fall asleep while being rocked in the pram despite him being exhausted! His eye are droopy and he struggles to stay awake but each time he is about to drift off he wakes up and starts crying, an angry cry! He will do this up to ten times before finally falling asleep! Once he is asleep he NEVER sleeps for more than 30 minutes! I have to rock him back to sleep for a second time and he will then sleep for another 20-30 minutes. So he has a total of an hours sleep a day. I can see this in not enough as he is whingy and moany a lot of the time and rubs his ear (which is a sign that he is tired). Also, when he wakes up, he cries/screams, sometimes quite hysterically until I go to him (which is always within a minute or 2).
On Wednesday, I spent 2 a total of hours rocking him to sleep! Surely this is not right!? Do other cms do this?

It is make me really on edge during nap times and I find it all very stressful. His crying often wakes the other 2 and I am just at a loss of what to do!
I have spoken to his mother and she rocks him to sleep at night and he sleeps in mum and dad's bed and she says he is an awful sleeper at night too, waking ofen in the night and needing to be rocked backed to sleep! Sometimes up to 5 times a night.

Please help! I am thinking maybe I just cant care for him anymore but his mother is lovely and I dont want to let them down.

Have I got this right, you have four children in total, a three year old, two good sleepers and the bad sleeper. I hope you have a variation!

I care for a 9month old, she only needs 45 - 60 mins all day. She gets here at 8 and goes at 6, and only needs one nap after lunch.

My own DS only needed about that much sleep at a year old

I'm not a childminder but a parent, it sounds that gardenpixies32 is trying her hardest to help the parents.

My little one 17 months old doesn't sleep at the childminder at all (20 minutes for him is nothing), when I take him home he is a nightmare, he cries wants only to be hugged and being with me, taking care of him only him. But when we are on Fridays together he sleeps 3 hours a day.

Personally I would appreciate if someone was making any effort, but unfortunately I am not that lucky.

I think the cm has come in for some unfair critisism here.. shes just asking for advice after all..

my actual advice to you is if the child is winding you up this much and you feel very stressed about this then i think it would be best to give notice for both of your sakes.

the non cms on here have to understand how isolating this job can be.. a difficult, crying continually toddler is not nearly so difficult to handle in a nursery situation where they are passed around.. staff get breaks.. a cm doesnt get this luxury..

best of luck to you

Gosh, I have understood from the beginning that op was trying her best to make that little child able to have a nap so he could refresh and happy for the rest of the day. Why was it so hard to understand ?? SHE is doing her best !

Started typing this around lunchtime when I had no mindees here then had to go so there may have been more posts since I started this........

I don't understand why some posters have been negative towards gardenpixie???? I don't AT ALL see where it suggests that she's trying to get a 3 hour break, it sounds to me like she has one very overtired mindee and needs some help and also wants to help the parents! Yes, some children DON'T need much sleep but this mindee is displaying signs of tiredness and the poor thing probably isn't sleeping as OVERtired. I've come across this before and totally sympathise with you. I agree that it sounds like with a 5.30am wake up time, they probably need a short sleep pretty early in the morning to prevent them getting SOOOO tired that they won't sleep later? I've had one mindee who was pretty bad at home in the night etc. that they went to a proper sleep clinic which really helped. If they often get up say 5 times in the night, there may possibly some underlying problem??? Have they been referred to a HV to get some feedback there? That's what I'd suggest to start with and maybe have some kind of sleep diary so you know how the previous night was before you have them again?

As for the variation comment.......why is it that people automatically jump on people as if they haven't got one. I'm sure this CM has a variation, I certainly don't feel the need to write 'I had/have a variation' whenever I talk about my mindees (and loads here know I had a 10 wk old, 8 month old, 17 month old and 18 month old at one point). I just felt it was said in a way that suggested she was going over her numbers and I think a polite check would have been more appropriate!

Anyway, off my soapbox now. OP, most of us here can see that you are trying to help and are here to help you if we can :) x

Thanks to the last 3 posters. I am glad I made sense to someone. I couldnt really understand why some cms are so mean and unhelpful.

I love the little boy, he is super lovely just a really bad sleeper. His mum is fab and I couldnt ask for a better parent.

The good news is, his sleeping has improved hugely this week. I try different things hoping to find something he will like. This week I gave him a 5 minute cuddle with his blankey then put him in the pram. Rather than rock with with my feet (pram facing me) i lay in front of him on the sofa and pretended to sleep. For three days now he fell asleep within 5-8 minutes. He usually napped between 20 minutes to an hour. However, on Monday he slept for 100 minutes, Tuesday for 120 minutes and today for 95 minutes! I am so happy! Yay! He wakes up refreshed and happy, not whinging or crying, a totally different child. I hope he gets more and more confident in going to sleep on his own.

FYI, AMY - My other 2 lovely mindees slept for 2.5 each this week. And the 3 year old I have sleeps for 1.5-2 hours after playgroup. Perhaps you need to assess your setting and sleeping arrangements. Your mindee may not feel comfortable sleeping at yours! Just a helpful comment from one cm to another!
While they were asleep (my 3 hour break), I popped down the pub for a few large G&Ts.

And Booh, my setting and business has nothing to do with you. It is my business if I have or need a variation! I have a total of 6 under 5's if you must know.

Gardenpixie I have been trying to post for a couple of days. You have received some unfair comments and I don't understand why. I'm a CM and a mother to a very bad sleeper. My DS2 is 19 months old and it's been hellish on the sleep front. Since he started walking he has become much easier to nap during the day and nights are getting there. It's such hard work looking after an overtired child. My DS wakes at 5am most days. He needs to sleep again after a couple of hrs and then naps after lunch. He really dislikes his cot for daytime nap but very settled when asleep on the sofa. We have finally found a system that works.

I'm glad to read your mindee is making good progress and well done for being so patient.

Just to add a sleep comment, I have 4 dc, they have all slept for 45 mins at 930 (an hour and a half after they wake) until they were 12m, 12m, 14m, 14m, then another 2 to 2 1/2 hours after lunch. My eldest girl now 7 slept after lunch til she was nearly 5, my 5 yo ds til he was 4, my 3 yo and 16mo still sleep after lunch. So from my experience as a mother I don't think up to 3 hours sleep a day is unusual.

so pleased gardenpixies.. hope it continues and well done to you for perservering...

not sure most of the negative comments towards you were from cms. because . unless you are one, its impossible to understand the nature and complexities of running this business.... well done again..