Should my au pair have her parents to stay?

[Joybelles]

Hi! our au pair has had her best friend and brother to stay on two separate occasions, once when we've been away and once we've been home. She's objecting becuase I've said that I don't think it appropriate for her Mum and Dad to come for 4 days. Am I being mean? I just feel that while she's here, we're her host parents and having her parents to stay could open up a whole host of problems, if they don't like what she's being asked to do or something. She said a number of her au-pair friends have had their parents to stay. What is the norm please?! Huge thanks xxx

I'm sorry, I didn't read your last two posts until after I posted. She is very ungrateful and in fact would not still be working for me if I were you.

Incidentally, I am happy to have female guests. There is a "no boyfriends" clause to my open door. Although I once had a nanny tell the vicar he couldn't come over when I wasn't home and I realised I was maybe being a little too strict.

Talkingrabbit - a qn: why have you not told your feckless AP to feck right off? You are obv a far nicer person than I to put up with an extra child in the family for so long.

StillSquiffy: A v fair question - I don't think it's because I'm nice that AP is still here, I think it's because I have been very sloooooow to realise this is not how it is supposed to be with an AP , and when not trying to do all the things that I've asked AP to do and she hasn't, I am so busy with work (DH has mad, unpredictable hours where he works away at the drop of a hat) that I have felt I actually haven't got time to find a new AP and our lives would be impossible without her to cover the ends of the school days. But I have certainly lived and learnt this year...

talking, you've ended up with a nightmare of an aupair! not all aupaires are like that. hope your next one is the right one.

Talking you sound like a saint. Not cold and unfriendly at all, she is taking the P*. I would firmly say no you have had enough visitors although you would be happy to meet mum / brother for a coffee or host a meal when they stay at local B&B.

Wow talkingrabbit, you really are a very nice person. With five weeks to go I would definitely think "enough is enough" and say no.

I genuinely don't understand why having an au pair means you should be willing to provide free room and board for their adult family members. Inviting them round to meet you, see where their child is living, share a meal or several with you of course, but why on earth would they expect not to have to book into a hotel or B&B if they are coming to visit.

That's my feeling too, glad I'm the only one to think she's unreasonable, and thanks for supportive responses, it cheers me up to think there are great APs out there with many of you. In the light of this week's spate of hilarious/horrifying incidents AP's Mum and brother are definitely not going to be invited to stay, and several new clauses have been added to our welcome pack for next year, specifically forbidding sexually explicit matter being visible to chidren in AP's room during working hours... AP may still not understand that she's an employee, but she doesn't even behave like any big sister I would ever want in my family.