Another babysitting question - was this unreasonable? (sorry, long)

[eemie]

Our regular babysitter let us down at short notice last night. Our neighbour recommended the girl across the road who has sat for her before. I phoned and asked her, she said she'd think about it and ring back. She rang back and said yes, she'd come when she'd finished her tea. She asked what time we needed her till, I told her the times we usually have and the price we pay the regular girl (£5/hour) and she said fine. I had to leaave first but told her my husband would get dd ready for bed and stay to introduce her and see her settled in.
Apparently she arrived with a man who a) clearly intended to stay with her and b) started by saying the price would be £7.50 an hour. She hadn't mentioned any man to me.
DH was taken aback, said I thought you'd agreed £5. She said well how about we split the difference. (He told me later it wasn't really the money it was the man that he was bothered about). He asked them to leave.
The regular girl we have is training to be a nanny and is police checked with references. The fully trained nannies (also police checked with references) who babysit for us charge £6/hr. And we have never been asked if they can bring a man, let alone had someone bring a man without asking.
But she was doing us a favour at short notice, and the neighbour who recommended her is going to be mortified. What would you have done?

I suppose that it would have depended on what I needed the baby sitter for (i.e. to mind whilst I went to the gym or to mind whilst I was going to theatre with friends - the former could be put off the latter would be more difficult to cancel). I think though that ultimately it's down to gut reaction and if you don't want someone in your house, let alone looking after your kids then you should take appropriate action.

As for the neighbour - yes, a tad unfortunate. I think you just have to explain the situation as clearly as you can and if she is upset then that's her issue.

Tricky one.

Well YBH i think it IS unreasonable for her to bring a man without asking you first.

You may have said that you normally pay £5 per hour (which TBH i think is quite low) but i also think she should have responded at the time with i normally charge "£X" per hour.

I also think £7.50 per hour is VERY high (unless maybe you are in London?) (as a fully qualified 6 years experianced sole charge, police checked nanny (BSc. (hons) as well) i personally dont even charge that much! well NOT for evening babysiting anyway! (daytime rate is higher obviously)

So yes i think the girl was unreasonable...

However if she had said to you i normaly charge £x on the phone and "as i dont know you can i please bring my BF?" (which she obviously didnt!) then i wouldnt have a problem.

NannyL, yes, £6/hr is the going rate for a fully trained nanny like yourself round here. £5 is what we pay an unqualified person (but who is a nursery nurse in training so police checked).

Would have happily paid a bonus for short notice but not happy to be landed with an unannounced man.

Have just seen the neighbour who recommended her who tells me she charges them £5/hour. Neighbour has allowed her to bring b/f but only after she asked. So it does seem odd.

Maybe she just assumed that if it's ok by one Mum it's ok by them all?

I dont think you did the wrong thing at all. No way would I leave my children with a man they did not know especially when you had not even been asked if it was OK. She is being paid to do a job - why is she bringing BF. You wouldnt take your DH to work with you would you?

IMO she was out of order about the money too although I can see you might be charged more for short notice. However, she should have said that up front and £7.50 for evening babysitting (with DD all ready for bed) is very expensive even for London rates.

dizzydo, at the image of me taking dh to work. That will amuse me all morning...

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Message withdrawn

god i think you and your dh totally did the right thing! how rude of her

if she wanted £7.50 an hour she should have said so when you called. but it sounds like her boyfriend (or whoever it was) had decided to ask for it.
and as for bringing a man with her anyway without asking yuo first... well that's just ridiculous

HappyMof2 (love your name) no, I haven't spoken to her. I did wonder if I should ring her and spell out exactly why dh sent them away, in case she thought it was just the money.

But my neighbour, who knows her and recommended her, said that she will probably mention it. I think if someone's going to point out her mistakes it will come better from someone she knows.

Our after-school nanny (NNEB, police checked, 12 years' sole charge experience, first-aid qualified, mother) told me today she has never charged more than £6.50/hr for babysitting even of multiple charges...

...and has taken her husband with her, but only to families she has known well for some time, and when he has met both parents, and only with their prior agreement.

I think the real lesson here is that if the babysitter lets me down at short notice again I'll just give up. Because if you ask someone a favour at short notice it's harder to see clearly what's reasonable and what's not.

Thanks to all for your comments

I would have told her on her bike, how rude. You spoke and agreed on the price and hours, how dare she turn up with johnny come lately and demand more money? I certainly wouldnt have left these people inmy home with my most prized possession in the world.

I also dont think i'd have been too polite in my telling her to shove off...

tamula, fgs stop beating about the bush and tell us all what you really think

No way would I agree to this. Obviuosly the biggest issue is the strange man. But tbh I think the money is really cheeky too. £7 an hour is very very high for evening babysitting - sitters (the national agency) charges £5 an hour btw.

Yes fully qualifies nannies can and do charge more than £5 an hour but if its a matter of 'sitting' while a baby is asleep with no feeding/bathing etc to do then I think £5 an hour is reasonable.

In the north I pay my (unqualified with 3 yrs experience 19 yr old) nanny £5 an hour inc a paid lunch hour so it really works out at £5.25 an hour for a standard 8 hr day.
Babysitting once he is asleep is £4 an hour with tea/drinks all available plus a taxi home if its after 10pm.

If i booked an emergancy babysitter the going rate aorund here is about £4 an hour but I'd pay up to £5 if they needed to get him to bed or I was desperate.

ria

Very cheeky-on both counts.
I pay £6 an hour and consider that generous.
No way would I have a strange bloke in my house with my children.

Forget about what the neighbour thinks-what's more important,her opinions or your children's wellbeing?

On yer bike girly!

I wouldn't leave my child with a stranger AT ALL! the girl, though recommended, was still a stranger, let alone the man!

This is sooo unprofessional and ridiculious all I can say. I would rather stay at home and cancel everything.
My kids are precious to me(even tho I dont have one )

That was really rude of her to bring her boyfriend! I would love to take my bf babysitting with me, but I personally think its unprofessional.

As for the hourly rate, thats what I charge (£7.50), but she should have made it clear what she charged when you spoke to her.