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Childminders Club: For minders who mind with their own kids still at home......

46 replies

ssd · 14/11/2005 13:59

Do you find the mindees want everything your kid has? Maybe it's just me but it's really bugging me. I practically have to beg to get my ds to eat during the day whilst my mindees try to eat me out of house and home. Whilst it's great they are good eaters and finish everything I give them, I certainly don't let them go hungary. But usually my ds wants lunch about 2pm when the mindees have all eaten their lunch, for them examlpes are a ham sandwich, fruit, breadsticks then extra toast whilst ds has a cup of milk only(his choice). Then when I know the mindees must be full ds might have a toastie or something. But then the mindees want his lunch too. It annoys me as I feel they can't see ds get anything , they must have what he has also their own lunch too.

What I wanted to ask is do you feel the mindees feel they have to have everything your own kid has as they are jealous? I can't work it out.

Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:

agalch · 14/11/2005 15:09

Hi ssd

Been minding for 10 years and have come across this a few times. Also have had kids who get really jealous of cuddles i give my own kids and whine about it.I have had the lunch thing too.I do not give them more to eat tho.Do you? i just explain to the child and parents that sometimes kids have different appetites and times for lunch and may not eat at the same times.My eldest kids don't always want to eat with the minded kids now either but thats another story.


ssd · 14/11/2005 15:38

hi agalch, the cuddles thing is true here as well, although I do cuddle the mindees but not the same as my ds.

I do try to explain to the mindees that they've had enough to eat, at first I did offer them what ds was having but as they were full they never ate it, so it was a waste. I now expain they don't need anything else but I don't think they get it.

OP posts:

agalch · 14/11/2005 17:54

I don't think it matters if they get it or not,i just think its something they have to learn do.Sometimes i don't have time to eat my lunch at lunch time(feeding babies etc) and ive had mindees telling their mums i havn't fed them!!i used to be mortified but not anymore.Same with the hugs,i do cuddle my mindees but i give my ds's and my dd special ones.


ssd · 14/11/2005 18:30

yes, this worries me as I heard one mindee saying to her mum she was starving when she left mine and I knew how much she'd eaten and it was more than me!! I've also heard other mums complaining about their childminders being stingy feeding their kids and it worries me, although no one has ever complained.

Guess I should stop worrying.

OP posts:

ThePrisoner · 14/11/2005 18:42

Thankfully, this isn't a problem I've encountered with my own children, as all mine were well-established at primary school when I started minding. They loved coming home to a houseful of babies and toddlers! And they're now too big to sit on my lap.


ladbrokegrove · 14/11/2005 20:14

not much to offer here I'm afraid, as new (first) mindee is only 8 weeks. I do, however, have a 2 yr old dd who is currently trying to cuddle him to death. don't think she's jealous as such, more testing out what you can and can't do with small babies.

Ssd you have specified a tostie for ds but not for mindees. Might his lunch look more exciting to them? Maybe cut down on all their choice and have an "everybody has the same lunch box" policy?


ssd · 14/11/2005 20:28

Well to give an example today Ladbroke, ds didn't want any lunch. I asked mindees if they wanted homemade soup or a toastie or tomato soup or a sandwich, it was decided by them ham sandwiches all round. Then they wanted apples. fine so far, ds still not wanting anything. Then one mindee was still hungary so had 2 slices of wholemeal toast with jam. Then a yogurt. About an hour later ds wanted a toastie and all mindees decided they wanted toasties too. I knew they weren't hungry so I said no and ds was getting daggers when eating his toastie. This was why I was so annoyed.

OP posts:

agalch · 14/11/2005 20:30

My 2 boys are 10 and 14 so at lunch they pretty much eat what they like.It wouldn't be sensible to try and feed mindees and my kids the same lunch always.I do also think if mindees have different likes from my kids and vice versa it's fine to give them different food.My mindees do complain from time to time but i o explain that my boys are bigger and that dd eats the same as them.


agalch · 14/11/2005 20:32

ssd don't feel bad about it,you are the boss and food has to be different occasionaly.


ladbrokegrove · 14/11/2005 20:32

it's a classic case of wanting the toy the other child has got!


agalch · 14/11/2005 20:33

sometimes you can give too much dp says give them 2 choices 1.take it or 2.leave it lol


ladbrokegrove · 14/11/2005 20:35

What Agalch said. Same lunch for everyone, regardless of when they eat it.


agalch · 14/11/2005 20:36

i have had a sunroom built where i work from has a small table and chairs for mindees to draw etc and have snack and lunch.So when my boys have lunch mindees don't have to see what they're having(especially if its anything chocolatey)


katymac · 14/11/2005 20:37

Today all nine sat down and ate same meal

On Friday DD sat down and ate with all nine and they all ate the same

At my house the meal is at XX time and is XYZ

No choice no discussion - and the menu is set a month ahead so that is that

Mind you - that means you have to keep up to date with your shopping


agalch · 14/11/2005 20:40

it was really easy when my kids were all younger but i cannot see my 14 year old eating the same as my mindees.he's a typical teenager,he won't even sit with us usually,doesn't like drooling babies and kids lol


katymac · 14/11/2005 20:41

Oh I think for teenagers it's different

But if DD really wanted to eat something different - she could (but would eat in the kitchen away from the others and by herself)


agalch · 14/11/2005 20:42

how old are your kids katymac?


katymac · 14/11/2005 20:43

She's 8 (well she will be on Monday)


blodwen · 14/11/2005 20:48

Me too. If my mindees say they don't want it (providing it's not something I know they really dislike), I just say "that's what we're having today". As Agalch's dp says, take it or leave it. If they don't take it, that's it. No coming back an hour later for something else or a second sitting. After lunch, the kitchen is 'closed' until after school when they might have toast, breadsticks etc. If they all had what they wanted, when they wanted, we'd never have time for anything else!


agalch · 14/11/2005 20:49

still young enough to be just stroppy not teenager stroopy!! gosh i hope my dd isn't as bad as my ds1,it's no wonder i have grey hair


agalch · 14/11/2005 20:51

i always ask parents for a list of fave foods and stuff they won't eat,that way if they complain i know that thet do like it.been fooled into giving mindees 3/4 lunches and then finding out they have been at it


katymac · 14/11/2005 20:52

I agree with you Blodwen - only exceptions are for under 1's (who might be asleep at mealtimes) and poorly babies (of any age)

But I'd be running a cafe otherwise (I nearly do anyway)


blodwen · 14/11/2005 20:57

Oh sure Katymac. Under ones are an exception. Sometimes it works better to feed them together at 1130 before playgroup pick up at 12. Other times they eat with the others. Poorly children do get a bit of compassion too! {wink}


agalch · 14/11/2005 21:13

has anyone ever had to ask parents not to let their kids come in the morning with cans of coke and a mars bar for brekkie? needless to say i have written yet another policy on healthy eating


katymac · 14/11/2005 21:15

OMG - I'm glad I provide breakfast

My parents know that I'm a bit odd about food - I so couldn't cope with that - it would freak me out completely

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