I feel at a cross roads and don't know what to do for the best, please can I have your views?

[XRoads]

If you know who I am please don't out me.

I've been childminding 5yrs now, since my dd2 was 6mths old, it's taken a lot of work to build up my business and I am proud of what I have achieved but I have a few children due to leave in September and unless I replace I would be left with 1 after schooler whose mum I really get on with and 1 under mindee who does 3 days a week, tt only whose mum I am really good friends with so I've been considering my options.

My dd1 is almost 12 and doesn't enjoy me doing this job, says it takes over the house and she has had enough of coming home to a house full BUT I do like being here for her and she is at the age where putting her in child care wouldn't work and she's all over the place with hormones so sometimes she loves me doing this and sometimes she hates it, teenagers for you I guess.

Dd2 is 5 and loves me doing this job, she has made lots of friends and hates it when all the dc's are not here.

Dh originally thought it wasn't a good idea, said I wouldn't make enough money to live on and the house would be a tip - he has changed his tune a lot of the years and he loves me being here for the kids, the house is not a tip all the time as the dc's help tidy up and I have a cleaner who comes a couple of times a month and we all pitch in to keep it hygenic. I also earn more from doing this job than I would doing anything else and we have a lot of debts and are keen to buy a house at some point.

Me - I do enjoy it, I think I'm good at it, there are a lot of good and bad points and I could carry on for another few years, pay our debts off, save up for a house, wait until my dc's are a bit older etc BUT there's a part of me that isn't feeling the challenge like I used to and really wants to do art for a living so I've started making steps towards it, I've sold a few canvas paintings, I've done a few murals, I've set up a meeting with a local headmaster about doing a mural or two in the local school, I've set up an online shop and a paypal account and I'm in the process of having a website made but I feel there are not enough hours in the day for both tbh. I'm working 50hrs a week looking after 6-7 dc's theres also the paperwork, deep cleaning to be done on top and I'm not getting the time I need to build a new business and look after the one I've got, eventually one will have to give way to the other.

I know there is no mad rush to do anything, I can just continue as I have been and in a few months my cm business will naturally calm down as children are leaving for nursery/ school and one is going because their mum is going on mat leave.

I don't know what I'm asking really, just want your views on if I'm mad to try and get something off the ground which is nowhere near as stable (and cm-ing is far from stable anyway!)

Should I try to replace the children that will be leaving or just stick with the 2 dc's I will have left so I will have more time to build up my mural/ paintings business? The parents of the 2 children are very supportive of my paintings. But this will scupper the chances of us buying a house in the near future as they are building some part buy ones round the corner from us and it's ideal as far as I know but we'd have to have paid our debts off and have saved a few thousand pounds by this time next year to have a hope of getting one so I know if I push ahead with what I want then we will have to wait to buy a house. Is buying a house the bee all and end all though? Should I put that before doing something I really want to do? Can I do both and still have passion for both, as they are both jobs that need me to be passionate?

I'm not a CM but I think what you are experiencing is common to a lot of people, ie now that you have settled into your career (and CMing is a career) it is less of a challenge and is beoming a bit 'samey.'

If I were you you I would carry on doing both because it would be hard to make a good living as an artist (certainly in the early years). Tell dd1 that you are doing it so you can buy a new house where she'll have her own super-duper bedroom. That should appeal to her teenage selfishness sensibilities

I am a cm and totally agree withthebestisyet.. good advice..

ignore your older dd. (mine is same age and tbh either loves or loathes the children in equal measure I tell her that this job pays for her clothes trips and would she like to go to after school club!!! that usually fixes her

now about you.. you sound like you want this house.. stick at doing both till you get there, if it takes another year of cming then do it.. get the house, pay off debts and then you can think about giving notice.. its probably only a month to close your setting so dont feel that, even if you take on new children now, they are with you till school.. they arnt...then concentrate fully on the painting and good luck to you...

Thanks for your replies, I've had a chat with DH and I am going to continue cm at full force for the foreseeable, he has said he will take over dinner and dc's while I have 1 evening and 1 weekend afternoon to paint so I can gain experience, then once we have a house we will see where we are with it all.

I am doing out dd's bedrooms with my next week off work because they do need totally decluttering and making a bit more grown up now, hopefully dd1 will then feel at least she has a space to go to when it gets too manic at the moment you can't swing a cat in her room and it's not because it's messy its just too small and full of stuff!

I think it will take longer than a year but you never know!

I personally thinkyourdoing the right thing, Good Luck

I'm here again........

an update.....

I've decorated dd's rooms they love them and dd1 now has her own space and has started going out more with friends so is a lot happier which is great.

I still haven't taken anyone new on for September but I'm now thinking I'd like to try to keep one day, school hours free because I've signed up to do my NVQ 3 and also there is a possibility of me working with a school on some art projects so I'd like to be able to fit those in.

Since I last posted I have worked on a mural for a local school and a mural in dd2's bedroom.

But I feel torn again because though it seems to be heading in a direction I would like to go in, I'm worried if I commit to doing the project with the school and then I get a phonecall to take on a full timer I then would have to either let the school down (which would not be good for either of my business reputations) or risk losing money we could do with to pay off debts.

I guess after much waffling I am asking.......what would you do?

Hi, Lovely to hear how you are getting on. I remember your post in May but didn't respond then.

FWIW I was at a similar junction to you a few years ago...I was childminding full time and trying to set up an 'arty related' business. + run a household and look after my kids. I LOVED childminding but hubby and kids were not so comfortable with the level of 'invasion' into our home and lives. I really had my heart set on my business but no time or energy to really get it going. We moved house (to a new area) and my registration took a while to transfer so I put loads of hours into my business and have never gone back since..... Yes I make less money (at the moment) than I did childminding. But as a family we are so much happier..ds's get to do all the afterschool and holiday clubs / playdates etc that they have never been able to do, Hubby is happier to come home to a neat and tidy house rather than a cluttered nursery....and ME I am doing something I am passionate about and that has a future for me!
Sometimes the risk pays off.....

You are not meant to tell me that Jendot You are meant to say that in this economic climate with bills going up and debts to pay etc I'm supposed to be sensible etc which is what my head is telling me, my heart is saying go on, the opportunity to do both is there, I'd still be earning more by working PT as a childminder than I would going out to work full time........

Thank you for posting, it's lovely to hear it has paid off, my dream/ ambition is to eventually do exhibitions, go into schools and help with large art projects, along side my website offering all sorts and an online shop. I just need the time to get it going, I can't have the time without risking not having money and at the moment I can't see how I can go for it without earning less for a while and with the debts and bills we have I think I would be selfish to go ahead...............eeeeeeekkkkkkkkk but the opportunities are there now, I don't want to wait..........

Here I am again........

Now I've managed to cut my cm hours so I have 12 hours a week to get my cm paperwork and my childcare diploma - this should end by the new year so my painting is on the back burner for now.

Today I got offered the chance to have a craft table at a pamper type evening for ladies, I declined because I have no work waiting to be sold and I don't have the time to make enough in time but I have said I'd love to do it next year.

I have also been given the chance to rent a room above a shop so I can have somewhere to do my art and sell my paintings in the shop but the problem is money, or lack of really. I've cut my hours to do my nvq for a few months but we can't really afford for my hours to continue to be cut and to pay out rent on a room where I may or may not see a return. I won't quit childminding, I will still earn a decent wage its just that we are in debt and by taking the risk it will take us longer to pay it off.

ARghHH

I've managed to work it out!

I'm going to rent the room and sell my paintings in a shop and online, I'm going to paint in school hours on a monday (term time) and on saturdays and the rest of week I'll childmind, evenings and sundays will be family/ chill out time. Sometimes I will forfeit my mondays to catch up on paperwork and on those times I will probably go and paint on sundays if I need to.

I feel so much happier now

~Glad you've found solution

Thanks, I'm very very happy the rent turned out to be really reasonable and I think I can make back the money I'll be paying out

Now another cuppa and back to the NVQ!

Glad its all working out for you :-)

Im still hard at it....now making almost as much as I was when I was childminding. But still a happier 'family' all round than those days.

|Thanks Jendot, I have PM you

I cba to namechange again as some of what was in my OP isn't relevant now anyway so I'll update the thread with my usual name.

I completed my NVQ3 in the new year - hurray!
I've now moved into my studio - woohoo!
We're not buying a house yet we have used the cash to take dc's to florida on holiday and then we will come back and knuckle down so we can buy one in a few years.

I'm really chuffed with hows it turned out and goes to show there is a happy ending. I'm shattered but that's another thread

Brilliant for all of u, go girls and well done lots of luck in future xx

What a nice thread, good luck

Awww thanks